Seriously. You should go now. Venting and heartache to follow.
Okay, guys. That... was a rough one. I feel like every episode should end with a psychiatrist saying, "Here. Show us on the doll where the Walking Dead pulled your heart out of your body this week."
"Spend" opens to Father Gabriel once again taking his place at the makeshift altar of another congregation. He's welcomed with a gift and a note from one of the Alexandrites, which seems to upset the priest. We'll get to why later, where we can all gleefully plan a demise that isn't quite so heartbreaking as the one we faced tonight.
The episode started with a "money shot" of Daryl on his new bike, which was the last feel-good moment we had in this episode.
Feast your eyes, take a moment and center yourself.
They were throwing us a bone to prepare us for the loss we were all going to face by the end of the episode. Sadly I had unwittingly been spoiled about this horrific, heartbreaking ending by hitting my Twitter tab out of sheer habit two hours before the show aired. (Damned PST.) My eyes fell on the trending topics, which included "Everbody Ate Chris", and I knew with a sinking heart that one of my favorite new characters was about to become Zombie Chow.
I kind of envy that earlier me, who had no idea how far the WD creators were willing to go to rip my still-beating heart out of my chest THIS time around.
It's been a tough season. So far we've lost four significant characters in some pretty horrific ways. The main precursor, the "Cloister Bell" if you will (extra points if you can identify THAT fandom,) is that those who are the kindest, the sweetest, the most determined to hang onto their humanity are the ones with the biggest targets on their backs. Show you care and you're DOOMED! DOOMED I tell you.
Though I already knew Noah was SOL when the episode started, I'm fairly sure I could have figured it out from the little tete a tete he shared with Reg. He's thinking long-term. (To quote Eddie Izzard, "Ah. Stupid man.")
God bless Glenn's heart... he sure tried to take charge in their little mission for supplies. And had Aiden not been a complete freaking idiot, maybe it wouldn't have gone down like it did. Suffice it to say, any team that had Eugene AND the clueless Alexandrites in it was just asking for trouble. Boy, did they find it.
The scenes through the warehouse were as Walking Dead as you get. They were tense and scary as hell. With these kinds of numbers, we knew that everyone wasn't going to make it back. Honestly, while I wasn't heartbroken to lose Aiden, I was surprised that he was taken care of this quickly into the story. But then again, he was, as I said, a freaking idiot. I'm surprised he lasted as long as he did in that world. He was our first casualty of the episode, which was also our first finger shields moment of the show.
In fact, Aiden's the reason everything went to shit at the warehouse, and I blame him entirely for losing Noah. So while his death was brutal and graphic, that was one I could watch again, thinking *you deserved it you stupid jackass.*
Rule #6 of the Walking Dead: ALWAYS LISTEN TO GLENN.
Things weren't so hairy back at Alexandria, where Rick was occupying himself with a simple case of vandalism. Sexy neighbor Jessie discovered that her owl sculpture had been destroyed in her garage, which surprised her, saying "Things like that don't happen here."
What can I say? Our gang is a bad influence. This is especially true for Sam, the kid "Scarol" tried to traumatize in our last episode. Now this kid has decided to cozy up to Carol like a cat homes in on anyone with an allergy. Carol makes it clear that she's not some warm and cozy den mother, doing her best to repel this kid before he gets too attached.
Carol has already learned that bad things happen when she gets too attached to kids.
Instead she ends up with an eager pint-sized minion. Of course it takes an eight-year-old to figure out that there are things far scarier in their town than their new residents.
Abraham is having some issues with Alexandrites too, as they head out to get materials to reinforce the walls. Walkers appear, because of course they do, and the Alexandrites are woefully unprepared to handle it. Abraham is willing to step in where everyone else is willing to check out, up to and including leaving one of their own behind to be torn apart by a horde. What they don't know is that Abraham thrives on the battle of it all. He's in his comfort zone as he swoops in as a hero soldier and single-handedly saves the girl and salvages the whole endeavor.
Because #motherdick, that's why.
This ensures yet another of our group ends up in a position of authority. Reg cautions Deanna that this kinda sounds bananas, but she relents anyway. She knows that they need these people to survive. Still... the seed of doubt has been planted, one that even Maggie cannot fully dig up.
Rick gets a little cozy little meet and greet with Pete, who is clearly under the influence and clearly erratic as a result. He tries to empathize with Rick's loss while asserting that the Alexandrites, though sheltered and clearly delusional, have experienced losses of their own.
Seeing how they interact with the outside world, that comes as no freaking surprise to any of us.
What did come as a surprise was Eugene's unselfish choice to save his injured friend Tara. Lo and behold there's a hero under that Tennessee Top Hat. The same could not be said of Nicholas, who ditches his leader, along with Glenn and Noah, to save his own sorry ass.
Last week Carol showed us that more self-serving side when she threatened Sam. The difference is that she is trying to *protect* the Alexandrites as far as she can, she just wants to protect her group should they prove to be a danger to her family. Somehow Sam seems to understand this because he keeps going back to Carol despite her being scary and off-putting. It quickly becomes clear that there's something that scares him even more. Carol, as a domestic abuse survivor, pinpoints exactly what that might be. When she goes to the house later to check on Sam, and Jesse, she faces off with Pete, who tries to intimidate Carol. Thanks to her Mary Poppins routine, he thinks he can. ("Ah. Stupid man.")
Okay, y'all. It's about that time. We need to talk about the Revolving Door scene. The creators have said that the more that they like a character, the more significant they make the death. I have to say that the Revolving Door is probably the worst of things we've seen thus far. Yes, it was claustrophobic. Yes, it was scary. Yes, it was tense as hell before anything actually happened. But once it started to happen, it was relentless. That it was a character that we liked made it drag on even longer, which prolonged our pain. First there was Dale... then there was Hershel... then Bob... then Beth... but Noah's graphic death (which you're not spared even with finger shields, BTW,) especially how it impacts poor Glenn, was heart-wrenching and soul-crushing. My son, who has never turned away from one scene on the Walking Dead, said that was one he could probably only watch once. It was that traumatic.
It wasn't just Noah that they tore apart. It wasn't just that cute kid from Everybody Hates Chris. No, Noah's death was far more symbolic. It was hope that they tore apart, ruthlessly and without apology. We know this in exquisite detail when we see that notebook that Rex gave Noah, and there's only one sentence written. "This is the beginning."
I need a moment...
Here's a chihuahua salsa dancing just to take our minds off it:
When the Governor beheaded Hershel, I declared in that moment that he needed to die before that episode was over. That's how I feel about Nicholas, who was two punches away from leaving our crew there as zombie fodder.
The same can also be said for Father Gabriel, who showed up on Deanna's doorstep to warn her about our group. This was the same group, mind you, who saved his stupid ass on more than one occasion, putting themselves at great risk to do it. Yet this ungrateful son of a bitch actually actively campaigned to have them removed from this new paradise because "they didn't deserve it."
I guess that only applies to people of the cloth who leave their entire congregation to be torn to bits and eaten alive right outside the church keeping one man safe.
#motherdick. #justsayin
Fortunately Maggie overheard this turncoat's betrayal. I think it's fairly certain that Father Gabriel's days are numbered. It just goes to show you can't open your door to anyone spouting about angels and Satan even after the zombie apocalypse.
So here's how it stands for this season to end satisfactorily:
Nicholas: #hastodie
Pete: #hastodie
Father Gabriel: #hastodieslowly #shouldhavebeenhimnotnoah
Needless to say, the safe haven of Alexandria is about to reach the breaking point. After everything we've been through already this season, I'm positively terrified to see what happens next week.
But tune in, I will.
Because #motherdick, that's why.
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