Oddly, though, the book morphed into something else entirely for me. The internal conversation when something like this:
"What happens when you finally get the guy everyone wants?"
"It ain't good, girl."
Truth be told, I ended up writing it mostly as therapy. I was going through some challenging times between 2009-2012, where my life was full of people that didn't always honestly represent who they were or what they wanted. This was tough for me because I kind of take people at face value. If you call yourself a friend, I'll treat you like one until you show me otherwise.
Between 2009-2012, there was nothin' but otherwise. And it sucked. BIG time.
Needless to say, I had a bitter taste in my mouth by the time I wrote GROUPIE, book 1, in 2011. After the lead-up and the conquest between the two primary characters, I was no longer enamored of the idea of sleeping with an idol. Where the plot went after that could only be blamed on how fed up to the eyeballs I was by people who "friended" me just because they wanted something they thought I had. (And I didn't, which makes the whole thing even more pathetic.)
Honestly it made me a little pathetic too. Everyone had a different story and I didn't know who to believe. Andy's wide-eyed, undying optimism from the story is pulled almost directly from real life. Yes, she was often an idiot. Write what you know and all that.
Like I always do, I work shit out when I write. Some people read to escape. I write to make realism bearable. I take my pain and make it work for me. And that's what GROUPIE was. It was inspired by the good, and not so pretty, parts of being involved in any fandom, or getting too close to any idol. There's the unattainable object of your attraction, yes, but there is also many folks who would smile to your face while stabbing you right in the back, for no particular reason really. You are just often in the way. It took me a long time to dissect my feelings and make sense of it all. Andy's and Vanni's world was a safe place to do that because it, unlike my own, was within my control.
When I put the GROUPIE TRILOGY to rest, I thought I had exorcised every single demon that had chased me to tell the tale. There didn't seem more to add because, thankfully, I had ended all the toxic relationships that had inspired a lot of the trouble found within the books. In that way, the story was very liberating. Even if I hadn't made a dime on it, I would have gotten something significant from it. It helped me cope and it helped me heal. I really can't put a price on what that meant for me.
Remarkably, the story I wrote to make sense of real life BS ended up being the one book out of all of my books to draw an audience. People loved the angst of it, which was as real as dared to make it. If you felt like tossing your Kindle across the room or shaking me senseless, rest assured - I had already had every single one of those feelings and then some.
Every character, every twist... and of course, Vanni himself... pulled readers every which way, just like the real life events that inspired the story.
Not bad for a story where I shamelessly and thoroughly explored the darker side of a long-standing fantasy of mine. That it could actually see a modicum of success was just the Universe's way of saying, "Yeah, I saw all that crap you had to go through. My bad. Here. Buy yourself something pretty."
In a very odd way, GROUPIE kept me grounded. It made me stronger. It made me wiser. It was not only a masterclass in becoming a professional writer (and all that entails,) but it was an eye-opening experience as I got to live in the skin of the people I hated or resented the most. At the end of the day, I felt empathy for the people had hurt me. (I was given advice by a principle player in this drama to always try to understand the other person's point of view and motivation, even if they're a "bad guy." Instead of torturing this character like any vindictive writer worth her salt, I began to understand why the character did the heinous things she did.)
It made it easier to put all the crap in the past at last.
I loved my GROUPIE family so much that I couldn't resist bringing them back again and again whenever I could, though. Vanni, especially, is a fan favorite every bit as much as he is mine. It always gives me a thrill when I can bring him back to tell new stories, usually as a supporting character or cameo. There never seemed much point in adding to his story, as the trilogy ended exactly the way I wanted (needed) it to end.
It began to dawn on me not too long ago that I might have been thinking much too small. There is more to explore than I originally thought, or so Vanni kept whispering in my ear. (And y'all know I can't deny that man.)
So I am BEYOND excited to announce that one of your favorite book boyfriends is BACK this July!!
Book 4 of the GROUPIE SAGA is not a rehash of what you've read before. It's a prequel, rather than an alternate POV. Instead, I get to dig deep in Vanni's history, and what made him the womanizing manwhore that kept us all in knots for three books straight.
As it turns out, he still has a lot to say.
So prepare your TBR list for July 24, 2015, when VANNI returns to your bookshelf with a brand new sexy tale of how he rose from a lowly waiter to a rock star poised to take over the music industry. There will be sex. There will be drugs. There will be rock and roll.
There will be Vanni.
And he can't wait to sing naughty things in your ear once more.
For those who have not yet met Vanni, you don't have to read the first three books to read #4. If you want to, however, GROUPIE, Book 1 in the saga, is now FREE on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes and Kobo.
It's not too late to board this train. But hold on tight... cuz it's going to get crazy.
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