They say you never forget your first, and boy are they right.
Jake Dalton wasn't my first book boyfriend, but he IS the first book boyfriend who would have chosen someone like me. For that reason alone, I gotta love him.
I wrote LOVE PLUS ONE in 2006/2007, as part of a "protest" against all the traditional romance novels. I had just finished reading Waiting to Exhale and I was rather annoyed that, once again, the fat chick had been used mostly as a prop. She was comic relief, who wasn't expected to live the exciting, sexy jet-set life of her thinner counterparts. She was luck to get what she got, and she knew it.
That, coupled with Danielle Steel using fat as a character flaw in one of her books, particularly couched in terms of a serious issue like domestic abuse, just rubbed me the wrong way. I was tired of not being represented in the books I read. From the time I was eleven, I was reading about "thin and beautiful" heroines who were allowed and encouraged to race towards their happily ever afters. I'd only read one book up till then that had a fat main protagonist... and wouldn't you know being fat was the biggest hurdle she had to jump. She had to change THAT in order to have all her dreams come true.
Subtly, even without the authors meaning to, I was subconsciously programmed to believe that "thin and beautiful" was the only way to get love, and if someone like me wanted a little romance, I had better hit the gym.
There's only one thing wrong with that. I had managed to find love and romance, including sex, without ever having to lose weight myself. My HEA didn't hinge on my losing weight to find a guy; it depended entirely on finding a guy who could love me regardless of what I weighed.
In our culture this is considered "unrealistic." But since I had found that, I knew that I could write that. And that's what I did.
I gingerly dipped my toe into the Rubenesque genre by making my heroine a more forgivable size-12, which is roughly the average of most American women. I knew that they could identify with Shannon, including her insecurities as she compared herself with everyone around her that wasn't a little bigger, or thick, or, dare I use the term, fat.
I put a lot of me in Shannon, which is why, by 2007, she had a lot of growing up still to do.
By no surprise I put a lot of Steven in Jake, Shannon's very best friend and one of the few men on the planet who could see through her dress size to the girl underneath.
He was the one who saw her potential and lovingly pushed her towards it, even when she was scared shitless of reaching for any brass ring.
As soon as it was polite to do so, he herded her outside on the patio for some private conversation. He was dying to hear what Dixie had said about her idea. He thought it was a lock, and he couldn’t wait to see her get the promotion she deserved.
“So. Tell me. What did Dixie say?”
She shrugged and headed toward the swing that still hung from the big tree out back.
His heart sank. “You mean you didn’t tell her?” She sent him a sheepish glance. “Shannon.”
“What? Come on. It’s a worn out idea. What’s the point?”
“Says who?”
“Says Rex, that’s who.”
Jake came over to her and pushed her swing into motion. “You mean Dogface, Lord of the Reptilian People?”
“He’s not that bad.” He grabbed the rope and put an abrupt stop to her swinging to stare at her. She shrugged and looked away. “We swapped ideas. He said it was good but he said the timing was all wrong. It’s not like he made fun of it or anything. Which is better than what I did to his idea,” she added, figuring it made her point.
Jake started pushing her swing again. “I still think you should run it past Dixie. What can it hurt?”
“Actually it hurts plenty. It took a lot of guts to tell someone I work with about my idea. I walked around all day with this big old balloon of hope, only to have it deflated.”
“Rejection is a part of life, Shan. Everybody goes through it. Even all your heroes have dealt with it. The trick is to get beyond that and find the person who says yes.”
“If I could do that I’d be married and have ten kids by now, and my mother wouldn’t have to bribe you with dinner to shove Taylor down your throat.”
He laughed. “It wasn’t that bad.”
This time she stopped the swing and glared at him. He couldn’t help grinning as he sprawled out on the lawn beside the swing. “Okay, so we both need some help standing up to the puppet masters. You go tell Dixie about your idea and I’ll stand up to your Mom.”
He was serious. And she was scared. “But what if it’s a bad idea?”
He shrugged. “Then you’re no better or worse off than you were. But if you don’t try, you’ll never know.”
She couldn’t help but smile. He was right. Like always. What would she ever do without him?
That conversation is pure Steven right there. It could have been lifted from from our lives together, in the many times he had to be my biggest cheerleader to take my own leaps of faith.
And, just like Steven, he was right there with no-nonsense straight talk to keep her on task, even if it risked hurting her feelings.
“If you don’t go back and fight for that idea, then maybe you deserve to have it stolen.”
She was shocked. “What?”
“Listen to me. I’ve known you for a long time, and there are some things I know for certain about you. You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re amazingly talented. And you’re also the biggest obstacle you face. You walk away from challenges so you never have to fail, but you can’t succeed that way either.” She turned away. He knew her too well. “Let’s face it, Shan. Producing this new show would require you to get out of your own way and put it all on the line. I think... no. I know you can do it. But until you know that too, then maybe the people who have that confidence are just better people for the job.”
Tears coursed down her cheeks. She came there for comfort, not a butt-whooping. They’d known each other for nearly a decade, and now he decides to implement tough love? “Thanks a lot.”
But Jake wasn’t falling for it. He’d held his tongue long enough. It was time to push his little bird out of the nest. “Shan, I love you.”
“No, you don’t.” It was another wail.
“Yes, I do. If I didn’t, I’d put on a hat and join your little pity party. But what you need most is to hear that you can go back to that studio, you can confront that jerk and let Dixie know the truth. She will believe you because something this good could only come from you. And it is good. And it will succeed. And you do deserve it.” Her eyes met his. “This is your chance, honey. You just have to go claim it.”
By no surprise, he doesn't take it on the chin when she ignores his advice and tries to hide in the shadows where she thinks she belongs.
Shannon finally opened the door to Jake’s persistent knock. Her hair hung in tendrils outside of the normally tight ponytail she wore. Her glasses were askew. She wore a pair of sweat pants that looked as though they’d never actually seen a drop of sweat, and her stylish ensemble was topped off with a well-worn pair of slippers that looked like bear paws.
“I take it you didn’t go back to the studio.”
She snorted. “What gave it away?”
He was confused. “I don’t understand. What changed your mind?”
She shrugged as she lumbered back into the apartment. He’d never understand, so it was pointless to explain. She had every intention of going to work the next day and claiming her idea, but a nightmare ended up changing her mind. She dreamed that she’d gone back to work and strutted right to Dixie’s office, but when she opened the door she stood on the edge of a hundred-story building, teetering right on the edge. The whole world watched from below as she lost her footing and plummeted toward the ground.
She had jerked awake in her bed, in the throes of a panic attack unlike anything she’d ever experienced. The dream had merged all her worst fears into one epic nightmare. It took a whole gallon of ice cream to calm her down.
Clearly the dream was an omen. And she was no longer convinced that her dreams were worth pursuing if that was the cost of their coming true. “Does it matter?” she finally asked, though she really didn’t expect an answer.
Jake followed her into the apartment. The scattered debris made it look like a Chinese restaurant had exploded in the middle of her living room. “Apparently not,” he sighed as he watched her flop down on the couch and grab her remote.
He grabbed it just as fast and turned off the television he suspected hadn’t been off in at least two and half weeks.
“Hey! I was just about to find out if Carly and Sonny were going to get back together.”
Soap operas, he thought with a groan. It was definitely time for an intervention.
“You have ten minutes.”
“Before you turn back into a frog?”
“Before I pick you up and carry you into the bathroom and plop you in the shower.”
“You and what army?”
He loomed large over her and she shrank back into the sofa. This man had muscles and ate his spinach. “I was kidding.”
His face remained stern. “Well, I’m not. You’re going to go take a shower and I’m going to drive you to the studio. We’re going to get your job back.” She shook her head. “Forget it.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself.” With his two strong arms he effortlessly lifted her up like a bale of hay, despite her very loud protests and wiggling. “Jake!” she squealed from her precarious perch atop his shoulder. “Put me down!”
He shook his head and held her tighter as they maneuvered the tight hallway heading toward her bathroom. She clutched door frames and scraped her fingernails along the wall to put a halt to their journey, but Jake was a man on a mission.
Toiletries went flying and he pulled the curtain back with one hand, using the same hand to turn on her shower. It was a shot of icy cold water that sprayed over both of them. “My clothes!”
“Smell as though they could use a washing too,” was his blithe remark. “Besides. Do you really want to be naked right now?”
She shook her head emphatically. Aside from her doctor, men didn’t generally see her naked. She felt no need to tarnish such a pristine record.
“Either way works for me,” he said as he handed her a bar of soap.
After a comedy of errors, both Shannon and Jake end up cast for the reality show she had gone to fight for. He'd be the bachelor on this new dating show, and she'd be the "mole" inside the girl's house, to weed out the bitches and pick the right match for Jake.
They knew going into it that there could only be one choice.
“No. Nope. Nada. No way.”But something happens when the light shines bright on someone so used to living in the shadows. It changes the way she sees everything... including her best buddy, Jake.
Jorge and Jake watched Shannon vigorously scrub the layer of makeup Jorge had previously applied with such care. No matter how much beauty he tried to plaster on her face, the ugly truth was that she was not ready for prime time television. It was impossible.
“Don’t hold back,” Jorge remarked. “Tell us how you really feel.”
“How do I really feel? You want to know how I really feel? I feel like a gigantic jerk, that’s how I feel. I belong behind the camera, not in front of it. Dixie’s crazy if she thinks I’m going to willingly go on national TV.” That was the total opposite of invisible, and it just would never do.
“It’s up to you,” Jorge replied. “But I think you’re missing a huge opportunity.”
“Oh yes. The opportunity to make a fool of myself doesn’t come along every day. Just every other day.”
“Slow down. Think about this for a second. Rex stole your idea. This is your chance to steal it right back.”
That stopped the scrubbing. Momentarily. “What do you mean?”
“He’s a producer, but this is unscripted, reality television. That means once those cameras roll, you guys would be the ones in control. Whether the show is good, or whether the show flops, is completely up to you.”
She considered it for a nanosecond. “Regardless.” She took a deep breath and sank back into the makeup chair. “Do you realize how idiotic I’ll look next to the swimsuit models he’s probably already cast?”
Jorge came to stand behind her and run his hands through her recently styled hair, fluffing and primping. “You will look like most of the women who watch the show, which will be a first for reality TV.” None of them could argue that point. “Who would you root for if you were watching? And wouldn’t that just chap Rex’s ass?”
She nodded, but then shook her head. Even with his masterful touch with her hair, with the makeup gone she looked way too plain and unbecoming to pass for a hopeful bachelorette.
“You know, Dixie offered me this gig but I turned her down. I didn’t want to work with Rex. But if you decide to do it, I’ll be there in a second. How’s that for an offer you can’t refuse?”
“It’s very nice,” Shannon conceded. “But even you can’t fix what Nature missed.”
He stood back and crossed his arms. “Excuse me?”
She swung around in the chair. “Okay, maybe you can. But we’re talking a full-time commitment.”
He just smiled and swung her back to the mirror. “Then I’ll move into the bachelorette pad for a few months. Tell me where there’s a down side.”
“But it isn’t fair to Jake,” she motioned to her still silent friend. “He doesn’t want to a part of a televised meat market.”
Jorge laughed. “Oh yes. Surrounded by twenty adoring females. It’d be hell.”
Jake just smiled. Although he wouldn’t have chosen this for himself, he thought the idea had some merit. Not to find a mate, necessarily, but to see his friend finally take her destiny into her own hands.
And if he had to date twenty lovely women to facilitate that… it was a dirty job but someone had to do it.
“Jake?”
He shrugged it off. “Like I’ve always said, Shan. Life is full of lessons. It’s a—”
“Learning experience,” she finished for him. She sighed. “So what would we have to do?”
Jorge hopped up on the counter and they all leaned in together. “I think we can all agree that we don’t trust Rex.”
Both Shannon and Jake answered immediately. “Right.”
“So you can’t necessarily control how he edits the show. But the money is on who the bachelor will choose. And that is very much in your control.”
“So who do I choose?” Jake asked.
A light bulb appeared at once over Shannon’s head. “Me.”
Jorge smiled. “By Jorge I think you’ve got it. What better Cinderella story for a Just Dixie audience?”
Jake and Shannon shared a look. This could actually work.
They sat close together, comfortable old friends.
“I’ve missed you,” he said. “I don’t know what to do with my nights without my favorite IM buddy.”
She laughed. “I’ve seen the video. You have plenty to keep you busy.”
He chewed the corner of his mouth to conceal his embarrassed grin. “Well, you know.”
She nodded. She knew. As much as he’d begun this journey to help her reclaim what Rex stole, he was still human.
“So what’s it like for you? I don’t get to see any tapes,” he reminded her.
Purple feathers and misplaced underwear flashed in her mind. “Thank God.”
That got his attention. “Okay. Now you have to tell me.”
Her entire face turned red as she shook her head. “No way, buster. That’s not how this game is played.”
“You know,” he said, donning his best German accent, “ve have vays of making you talk.” He held up two hands in prime tickle position, which made her giggle before he even touched her.
“You wouldn’t dare!”
He dared. He dove right in and tickled her until she was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. “Okay, okay!” she gasped. “Uncle!”
Mercifully he stopped, but he didn’t move. As she caught her breath she realized that he had her pinned against the seat, their faces mere inches apart.
Time stood still as she stared into those baby blues up close. She had dreamed of being in his arms like this, but nothing compared to actually being there. She could feel every muscle as his warm, hard body pressed against her.
“Well?” he whispered with a crooked grin.
“Well what?” she whispered back, having completely forgotten the original line of questioning.
Jake seemed extremely amused. He didn’t move an inch. “What goes on at the Bachelorette Pad when I’m not around?”
“Oh,” she said. She licked her lips which drew his gaze that direction. The butterflies in her stomach clog danced their way to her feet when his eyes briefly glanced down at her mouth.
“Gossiping. Grooming. Sacred shaving rituals. You know. Girl stuff.”
He nodded, but he didn’t look as if he believed her.
And he also didn’t look like he had any intention to let her go. He held her so close she knew he could feel her tremble. Minute by minute, she grew more and more visible, not only as a woman, but as a woman who was developing feelings for a man.
“Jake,” she said softly, almost pleadingly.
His gaze drifted to her mouth and voice was warm like butter when he said, “Shannon.” She had never heard her name said like that before, from anyone, especially her best friend. It promptly turned her insides into goo.
Unfortunately for Shannon, she realizes that she's falling for handsome, hunky Jake, her steady bestie for ten years, around the time she has to fight 20 more women for his heart. And not just any women. We're talking *reality dating show* women. To say she stands out is an understatement, particularly to the other girls.
Jake wasn't having that either.
Kayleigh found Jake still sitting in the room with a perplexed look on his face. “Hey, you. Why are you in here all alone?”
His gave her an absent-minded answer. He had other things on his mind. “Shannon just left.”
“Ah.” Kayleigh entered the room and took a seat beside Jake. It was her spot, she’d decided, and she was going to do everything she could to be there. “You know I passed her in the hall and she seemed upset. Did you two have a fight?”
He gave a quick shake of his head. The thought was ludicrous. He and Shannon never fought.
They also never kept secrets, which was the hardest part of this new situation. Neither one could be honest about what they thought or felt. They were putting on an act, every single day, which felt completely unnatural for their ten-year friendship.
Jake realized then that he could ask Kayleigh’s insight. She’d been at the house. Maybe she knew what was eating Shannon.
“Did she say something?”
“She didn’t really have to say anything,” Kayleigh explained. “She mentioned that the date did not go well, but didn’t elaborate. We all kind of decided that meant it really didn’t go well.” She waited but Jake gave nothing away. “You’re very sweet, you know that?”
“Is that so?” he asked, but the absent question was inherently rhetorical.
“Being so nice to someone like Shannon,” Kayleigh expounded.
That got his attention. “Someone like Shannon?”
Kayleigh sensed that she had to broach the subject carefully. “You know. Someone who isn’t very well suited to you.”
His eyes narrowed as he studied her. He and Shannon had been thick as thieves for ten years. How could anyone think that they weren’t suited for each other? “And why isn’t Shannon suited to me?”
For the first time since she met him, his easy-going manner evaporated. Kayleigh laughed, and hoped to put him at ease. “For instance, you love the outdoors. You’re athletic. You’re adventurous. She’s… not.”
He waited. She was trying to say something, and suddenly he really wanted to know what it was.
“You’re a great guy,” Shannon continued. “You didn’t want her to be among the first to go. You even give her individual dates. But it’s not like you’re actually going to fall in love with her.”
He sat back and searched her face. Had he really been toying with the idea she might be the kind of girl he’d like to keep seeing after the show? “Why not?”
Kayleigh decided once again to change tactics. She leaned toward him. “Because you’re going to fall in love with me.” She gave him a winning smile that begged for a kiss.
He did not oblige. “It’s much too early to decide that,” he reminded as he stood. “Let’s get back to the party.”
Kayleigh left that room with a lot less confidence than when she entered.
Suffice it to say, Jake Dalton is one of my most swoon-worthy men, the first of my many "Good Guys." If you want a sexy romp with a cocky douche bag, this isn't that book. Read my GROUPIE or MASTERS sagas instead.
But if you want to know what it means to fall in love with your best friend... Jake's your guy.
They ended their evening with one last dance, and when the final notes of the music echoed away, they stood in the circle of one another’s arms, locked in each other’s eyes. Her heart thundered in her chest as she wondered if he was thinking about kissing her as much as she was thinking about kissing him. The moment was perfect. It was romantic. It felt just as right, at least to her.
He wore an unreadable expression on his face, one she’d never ever seen before, so it was frustratingly hard to tell how he felt about it. Her hopes began to climb when his hand cupped her face, with one thumb absently caressing her full bottom lip. “What?” she finally said in a breathless whisper.
“I made a mistake a couple of weeks ago,” he said at last, his low, soft voice bouncing off of her tightly drawn senses.
Her eyes fixed on his mouth. Thanks to her dreams, she could already imagine what it would feel like to kiss him. And even if it was only an act for the viewing audience, suddenly it was all she wanted to do. “What was that?”
“I gave away something I should have saved for the perfect moment. For right now. For you.”
Her breath caught as she realized that his head was lowering towards hers. The minute his mouth opened over hers, she was a goner. Her lips parted like they had in her dreams, unconsciously, with a wanton gasp, and fireworks exploded in her brain as his tongue meshed at once with hers.
It took her a whole second to process what was going on. It was real! Jake was kissing her! And not just a I-kinda-like-you-so-I-think-I’ll-kiss-you kiss. With Jake clutching her tight, his hand weaving into her hair to crush his mouth against hers, it felt more like I-wanna-kiss-you-so-bad-it-physically-hurts kiss. Whether it was for the show, or the ultimate fuck-you to Rex, didn’t seem to matter. Instead she focused on how his tongue tasted like wine as he conquered her mouth in ways her limited imagination just couldn’t picture. She practically swooned against him and he held her tight in his strong arms.
They were breathless when he finally broke apart. Seconds passed as they stared at each other. Finally his face broke apart in a lopsided, self-satisfied grin. “Now that’s a first kiss that counts.”
Shannon couldn’t speak as she nodded. Her whole body was flushed. “Jake,” she started, though she had no idea what thought could possibly follow.
Instead he bent his head towards hers and lightly kissed her on the tip of her nose before he rested his forehead on hers. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For what?” she whispered back.
“For the best date so far.”
As for who I'd cast, it'd have to be someone who was rugged and strong, like a rancher should be. He'd have to have the zen of an old soul, which you could see the minute you looked into his eyes, which would immediately put you at ease. He can't take himself too seriously. He'd have to be romantic and kind and accessible, but with a strong code of honor what it meant to be to be a man... and how that translated into his treatment of women.
Basically I'm open to suggestions. To me he's simply Jake, and I love him every bit as if he were real.
Fortunately, thanks to my own HEA, he totally is. I see him every time I look into my husband's blue eyes. And since you can't have him (sorry, I don't share,) I gave you Jake.
You're welcome.
LOVE PLUS ONE is free to read through Kindle Unlimited. Today only, everyone can download a copy.
Join me and let's fall in love with one helluva bachelor.
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