I have to say that I have been looking forward to today. It would be fair to say that all my book boyfriends have some qualities of my husband, Steven, in them. It started with Jake Dalton (we'll get to him in a few,) where I inserted Steven's humor and no-nonsense attitude, which helped balance Shannon, who led more with her heart and not her brain.
But Graham embodies Steven's inner white knight in a way that all my younger guys (Jace and Jonah for instance,) will eventually work their way up to mastering. Why else do you think he keeps showing up book after book, essentially showing them the way? To be blunt, Graham is who ALL my book boyfriends should aspire to be. He's stable, mostly. (Angst makes fools of us all.) He knows how to make a woman feel like she's the most important thing in the world, which definitely filled the void left by certain manwhores who chased after "strange" to feed their ego. *COUGH*Vanni*COUGH*.
Graham was a rock, one that Andy knew she could count on. More than that, he had the stability and the resources to make her dreams come true, which, of course, was all he wanted to do because he cared about her happiness more than his own. (Mostly.)
My best friend often asked me as he read the book, "Does Graham have a gay brother??" (And when I told him last night that this was who I was blogging today, I was met with an enthusiastic "TEAM GRAHAM!")
But it was Steven himself that made someone initially intended to be a minor character into the man he ultimately became.
Truthfully, Graham wasn't part of the original outline to Groupie, which I had always intended to be a standalone book. I wanted to put my couple through the paces and give them their happily ever after, just like a good little romance writer is supposed to do. At first, I indulged the rock-n-roll fantasy quite selfishly. I had waited a good long while (32 years) to scratch this particular itch, and I wrote Vanni so tempting to me personally that I just wanted to have a little fun with him for a while.
I was also working some shit through in Groupie, so of course Vanni came with a lot of built-in complications that I needed to navigate on paper, even if I couldn't make the people around me at the time act the way I wanted them to act. You know... honestly and forthright, kind of what they had built themselves up to be. Instead I felt used, deluded and rejected for not being (insert anything I really wasn't here) enough. This was a point in my life that I felt like I was being misled, led on and generally neglected and tossed aside no matter what I did personally to help other people and be there for them, so I was tearing through the bullshit in the only way I knew how - through a story.
When Andy and Vanni get to Vegas in Book One, Andy was standing there all alone at an after-party, looking incredible but feeling invisible thanks to the girl(s) on Vanni's arm as he lived the great rock star life. Since I knew a lot about that personally, and how much it SUCKED, I decided to give her a little ego boost via a handsome stranger, who would look at Andy and see that she was enough. He'd find her attractive. He'd act on that. He'd treat her like all of us girls want to be treated; like she was special.
Graham starting tickling my ear in the following passage:
The V.I.P. spots were reserved in the balcony, which meant I couldn’t get a front-row seat. I sat with the other executives and high rollers, but Jasper, Athena and Lourdes were all M.I.A. Instead I chatted with one of the other band’s managers and the champagne flowed while the four acts performed.
So later, whenever Andy showed up at the after-party, it was only natural to expound on this person a little more. When I first introduced him into the scene, he didn't even have a name. He was just "some manager" for another band performing at the music festival. He was supposed to take her for a spin around the dance floor and that was it. Yeah, I presumed that it would stoke Vanni's jealousy a bit, to see his best girl (and he knew damned well she WAS his best girl, even if he didn't know what to do with her half the time,) being romanced by another.
I quietly exited the balcony area after they left the stage, heading back downstairs to the club that hosted the huge after-party celebrating the first night of the concert series. At first I didn’t see any of the guys, and I felt a little awkward standing there by myself looking like a lost rabbit.
“I hate these things,” I heard a male voice say from behind. I turned to see the manager I sat next to during the first couple of acts. His name was Graham something-or-another, and he had flown in from L.A. to support the opening act.
We had only shared insignificant small talk during the concert, but he was a familiar face at least. “Me too,” I said. “Someone needs to tell famous people not everything is cause for celebration.”
He laughed and then looked down at the empty glass in my hand. “Can I get you another?”
“Sure,” I said, and followed him over to the bar.
He ordered my drink and then turned to me. “Andrea, right?”
“Andy,” I corrected. “And you’re Graham…?”
“Baxter,” he supplied in good humor, then handed me my drink. “So do you work at a firm in Los Angeles?”
I shook my head. “I’m actually just a writer from Nashville, doing a favor for a friend.”
He laughed. “I guess that’s not so bad then. You can come out here, have fun, then go back to the real world on Monday.”
I smiled. “That’s the idea.”
“In that case,” he said as he put his glass on the bar, “Allow me to contribute slightly to the debauchery. Dance with me.”
I started to shake my head but out of the corner of my eye I saw Vanni walk into the room with Lourdes on his arm. I swallowed down the handful of rocks that had mysteriously appeared in my throat, smiled at Graham and said, “Sure.”
He walked me to the center of the floor, and of course the minute we get out there one of DIB’s more suggestive tunes played overhead. Graham rested his arm around my waist and casually pulled me close. “They’re really good,” he said near my ear, referring to the band. “It kills me Jasper Carrington got to them first.”
“Timing is everything,” I remarked as I tried not to look at Vanni, where he stood now with Lourdes at the bar.
“If they ever want a change in management, give them my number,” he said.
I chuckled. “I will.”
He looked down at me with a devilish grin. “And you can have it too. You know, in case things get too boring in Nashville.”
I laughed. He had to be at least forty-five years old, with short, dark hair and a touch of silver at the temples. But he had the warmest brown eyes I had ever seen and a nice smile. There were worse ways to spend an evening in Las Vegas than flirting with a harmless stranger.
I glanced back over at the bar only to spy Vanni and Lourdes dancing close in the corner. This caused me to grip Graham’s shoulders a little tighter, which he seemed to take as a green light to pull me even closer.
The beat of the song was sensual and intense, like a quickening heartbeat. “Say my name,” Vanni crooned from every speaker overhead. “I’ve got what you’ve been waiting for.” I closed my eyes and allowed Graham to swing me around the floor with some fancier footwork. I followed where he guided, surprised my feet even knew what to do to keep up. It didn’t take long for me to realize some other dancers had moved out of our way to watch us dance. Some of the other guys in the band had come into the club and set up a table in the back with Jasper, who had now arrived. Felix watched me curiously as my dance partner led me into a sexier move in time to the beat. As the song ended Graham dipped me backward with a playful grin and I giggled in spite of myself.
We walked back to the bar. “Not bad for a guy who hates these things.”
“Necessary evil,” he informed. “Besides, my wife insisted we take dance lessons for our wedding.”
I glanced down at his hand. I hadn’t noticed a ring. “You’re married?”
“Occasionally,” he responded in good humor. “It’s an expensive hobby, I’m afraid.”
He perched on the barstool next to mine. “How about you, Andy? Anyone special waiting for you in Nashville?”
I nodded. “His name is Simon.” Graham’s grin faltered just a tad. So I went on. “He’s extremely jealous. And a cover hog. And can unravel a roll of toilet paper in ten seconds flat.”
His eyebrow rose, then together we said, “He’s a cat.” He laughed and then leaned closer to me. “So it wouldn’t be extremely inappropriate then if I gave you my phone number?”
“I suppose not,” I said with a slight blush. “After all that’s information I need if the band ever decides to make a change in management, right?”
He glanced over to where Jasper sat with the band, along with Vanni and Lourdes. Then he looked back with a serious expression. “It may be in poor taste and completely self-serving for me to say so, but I hope that they do. Jasper knows how to make people but he also knows how to break them, too. It can be a toxic environment. He’s going to offer the sun and the moon but God help the person who crosses him. And sometimes that just means standing up for yourself or your principles.”
I looked back at their table. Graham’s warning echoed what Vanni had said back in Brooklyn. His life was not his own, and he felt powerless to change it. Graham dug a card out of his coat pocket, pausing only briefly to write something on the back.
He slipped the card across the bar toward me. I reached for it and he placed his hand on mine. “That warning goes for you too,” he added. “In case you need it.”
His eyes were kind and sincere. Almost fatherly. “Thanks,” I said.
He motioned for the check. “And on that note, I think it’s time I return to the normal, quiet world of my hotel room.” He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips. “But thank you for a lovely dance, Andy from Nashville.”
He graciously paid for both of our tabs, and my eyes lingered after him as he departed. He stopped only momentarily at DIB’s table to say congratulations to the band and to Jasper, who didn’t seem all that pleased to see him. I used the distraction to look down at the business card. My eyes widened when I caught the name of his company. This wasn’t some mid-tier manager. This was Graham Baxter of Baxter Mega-Worldwide Media Corporation… the only record label in the country that could stand toe to toe with Jasper Carrington.
More curious I flipped the card over. The message he had written: Room #1225.
Slowly Graham revealed himself to me in that scene, including the way he went for what he wanted. I was just a hair ahead of Andy the whole way as I got to know this new, intriguing gentlemen. He was sophisticated, he was charming, he was commanding. He was everything a successful man should be. Little did either of us know he was a puzzle piece that was about to slide into place, tying up so many strings that were just lying about unresolved. I've learned to trust my storytelling instincts over the years. Nothing is ever "nothing," including his leaving her a card with his hotel room number. And just like that, Graham landed in my universe and has refused to let go.
I received some criticism about Graham, in that a record producer with that kind of money and clout could *never* want a size-16 girl, much less battle an mega-hot rocker for her affection. The (size-16) lady who wrote the review said it just wasn't "realistic."
I think Ashley Graham might disagree...
If you think two men wouldn't fight over that, you don't know that many quality men, because only an asshole would discount a quality woman based on her size alone. While I realize that our culture is populated way more with those types of guys, and they are pretty damned vocal about that kind of thing, that doesn't mean there aren't PLENTY of men out there who not only accept bigger women, they kind of really have a passion for them.
True story: I met Steven online, through an AOL chat room. In 1999, the Internet was place you could meet new folks, and I had been testing the waters for a while. At first I, like this particular critic, thought that guys wouldn't give me a chance if they knew how much I weighed. So I did what a lot of people tend to do... I edited that information out.
Oh, who am I kidding? I lied.
And yes, there were PLENTY of men who fell hard for the person I was pretending to be. If you put my personality in Scarlett Johansson's body, guys find the combination quite attractive. Many of the guys that clamored for me the most were generally already married, and were no Ryan Reynolds themselves. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Because I actually wanted to meet
The night I met Steven, we ended up talking on the computer for a few hours, and on the phone an hour or so more. When I confessed to him I was a BBW, just to make sure he wasn't going to bail like some men did, he didn't even know what that meant. I told him, "It stands for big beautiful woman." He said, "Oh, I don't care about that." And he legitimately didn't. I sent him my photo and we met within a week. On our first date, he not only bought me a rose from the flower lady at the restaurant, he made out with me right there in the booth in front of everyone. His passion for me was clear right from the start, because he wasn't afraid to show it. (That, too, was a revelation.)
Seventeen years later and he's still around, often fighting to stay when everything should drive him away. I think he's sticking around. He does everything in his power to make me feel happy and beautiful and loved. If that's not a quality man, I sure don't know what is.
Many years later, when we went to the Charmageddon viewing party, Steven charmed every single woman at our table by buying them roses, making them laugh and generally making them feel attractive and valuable. Whether they were big or small, he didn't care. He wanted them to feel beautiful, because he thinks every single woman SHOULD feel that way. MEANWHILE a former Pick-up Artist wannabe sat in the corner and talked to nobody. One guess who was the guy getting laid that night.
So tell me again why I should bend over backwards to attract those kinds of guys, because I sure don't see the benefit in it.
This idea that all men - and certainly the most desirable men - won't like you if you're fat is such a tired, played crock of shit, I deliberately make my book boyfriends smoking hot to show doubting Thomases (and Thomasinas) that this IS realistic. It happens in the real world all the time. People buy what you tell them. Whether you think you're fat and ugly or sexy as hell and rule like a queen, they'll agree. That was the entire POINT of Groupie, and why I wrote Andy the way that I did.
Why couldn't a successful record mogul AND a rock star love Andy? She was a smart, strong, independent lady who could give as good as she got. She was funny, she was kind, she was a devoted friend and a talented go-getter who knew how to make things happen. She didn't need a man to make her dreams come true. She was fully capable of doing that for herself. She was a sensual creature who didn't need outside attention to own her own sexuality, to see past all the superficial boys who might discard her for her size to find the men who might value her for ALL of who she is, not just something as arbitrary and as superficial as her dress size. Do you really, *really*, think that two intelligent, sensual, successful men wouldn't find this single lady attractive at the same time and want to battle it out to see who might be the best man? Just because of her size, which happens to be about the average of most women? Are you freaking kidding me?? What a sad, limited world view. So glad it isn't mine. I don't entertain the fantasy that I have to be someone ELSE to live a fabulous life full of the love I desire. I write the books I want to read, that tell me that I can be loved for who I am. That IS my reality. And I'm damned proud to offer that viewpoint into the world.
It became crystal clear to me, particularly after Andy's trip to L.A., that my new "triangle" presented a pretty significant challenge to my original HEA. Let's face it. Where Vanni was a boy chasing after the attention of others just to patch up his ego, Graham was a successful executive who could offer Andy the entire world, including the love and stability she deserved. I knew it. My best friend Jeff knew it. And Steven knew it, too. By the time I got to the cruise, he told me in no uncertain terms that if Andy chose Vanni, he couldn't buy that ending. It wasn't believable and he just didn't understand it. "She's too smart to do something that dumb." He said it felt cheated, like I was patching it up just to end the story. Graham was simply the better choice, and it would have been emotionally unsatisfying for him to see her just forgive and forget all that Vanni had done. Graham was free to love her and made sure to stay that way. Unlike Vanni, who filled his arms and bed on the regular, Graham was prepared to offer himself as a one-woman-man to her... provided she could let go of Vanni.
Of course she couldn't, because I mean hello? It's Vanni. She tried, God bless her. I always chuckle when people say that she let him get away with stuff and always took him back, when she spent most of her time trying to stay away from him. (This is why there are three books, people.) In those times that she couldn't, because her future was so deeply entwined with his because of her friends and the work she wanted to do, he was like a hit of heroin for her. (Who of us hasn't had one of THOSE guys in our past?)
There was a reason this was her song for Vanni...
On paper, it just made sense that she'd choose Graham. She grew up without a father, and he provided a strong, loving influence that she knew she could trust. Honestly it's the best kind of triangle, because she couldn't help but love BOTH these very different men for very different reasons. Talk about being torn. Even *I* am torn, to this day.
Vanni just had to learn how to embody more of Graham in order to deserve her, and that wasn't going to happen in one book.
Because of that... and because Graham deserved (demanded) to have his story told as well, I kept going. And wouldn't you know it? He shows up in almost every other book I can think of, just because I myself can't let him go.
Sure he had a little stumble off his pedestal in ROCK STAR, but who can blame him? He was going through some stuff. This powerful man got tested in a pretty big way. He was understandably a little selfish and entitled. But Graham is as perfect a book boyfriend as I can imagine, which is why I'm so glad I'm married to his prototype. That a stubborn redhead was introduced into Graham's life to whip him into shape was no accident.
As for who I would cast, I'm torn between two. I wrote it leaning heavily towards RDJ, but the Cloonster would make an *amazing* Graham. Swoon-a-palooza, indeed. Maybe I'll have to give my bestie Graham's gay brother after all... (and he might be closer than you think...)
So that's Graham. Get to know him in GROUPIE, which is free to read across all platforms. His story continues through ROCK STAR and MOGUL, and he plays a pretty significant role in FIERCE, UNSTOPPABLE and EPIC, and returns in my SOUTHERN ROCKER trilogy. He pops up in books outside the GROUPIE universe, in THE UNDISCIPLINED BRIDE, ENTANGLED and even the MASTERS saga (in MASTERS FOR LIFE and MASTERS FOREVER.)
Not bad for a nameless character who showed up to dance with a lonely lady. He wedged his way into my world and made it impossible not to love him. And I'm never letting him go. Never, ever, ever.
Smm panel
ReplyDeletesmm panel
iş ilanları
İNSTAGRAM TAKİPÇİ SATIN AL
Hırdavatçı burada
beyazesyateknikservisi.com.tr
servis
tiktok jeton hilesi