Wednesday, February 2, 2011

American Idol - Week Two Auditions Nashville

The second audition show of Week Two went to Nashville, or NashVegas as it's known. Ironically, Music City USA actually was sadly lacking on vocal talent - at least from the contestants who made it to air on this particular episode.

It actually made me wish they had stayed a few more days in Milwaukee.

Normally I don't spend too much time on the also-rans, but in Nashville they made up the majority of the show.

So... let's get started.

The first contestant was the baby-voiced Christine McCaffrey came into the room "singing" (I think.)


And despite the fact that she jumped off my annoyance meter in the first 30 seconds or so of airtime - and couldn't answer the question of whether or not she did cartoon voice-overs, the judges still allowed her to sing anyway.

I really don't know whether to take contestants like this seriously. The speaking voice sounded put on, and she performed her audition with this undercurrent that even SHE didn't think she would get through.

Apparently Randy, or Simon's Mini Me as I very well may peg him for the season, had the same misgivings. And when he called her out on it JLo accused him of being mean. (Oh Simon, where art thou?)

Christine went further off into "this chick can't be serious" territory when she told her mother that she managed to get a yes out of Steven Tyler.

And with this, Nashville was off to a very shaky start.

Next up were Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks. Oh, I'm sorry... I mean Rob "It Sucks" Bolin and Chelsee Oaks. This couple came to Idol to audition together because they apparently have a great partnership when it comes to singing duets.

Lifetime duets, not so much.

Apparently after a breakup they attempted to live together, and Chelsee continued to date even when it was painfully evident Rob was still (and seems to be still) in love with her. Even though it's turned sour and they aren't really even friends anymore, which immediately put Jennifer in Matchmaker Mode. Chelsee explained while they loved each other "very much," it just wasn't happenin'.

Meanwhile .... fidgeted at her side like a puppy who just wanted a scratch behind the ears.


Finally they treated the judges with a duet, the painfully appropriate tune, "To Love Somebody."

(Seriously?)

Rob was asked to sing alone and he chose "What's Goin' On" by Marvin Gaye. He had a gravelly, soulful delivery I really wasn't expected from the duet - since she sort of overpowered him when they sang. (If I was a shrink I'd say that probably wasn't limited to just the singing...)

Then Chelsee sang The Story, and without him to sing off of her voice actually thinned out quite a bit in the beginning and she began to fidget as well. (Might have been nerves.) I'm not entirely convinced she possesses the self-confidence yet to take center stage as a solo artist.

Ultimately they both got a golden ticket, which would have likely happened had they not auditioned together but I think it's a misguided idea that this experience will bring them closer together. Far more likely it will wrench them both apart, because I can totally see only one of the two making it past Hollywood week.

My money's on Rob. Just on Karma alone.

(I personally thought that was the saddest thing ever when they came out of the room and she had a virtual posse to congratulate her - including a new boyfriend - and poor Rob wandered out like a poor little lost puppy dog.

I can totally see this as a recurring them.

Tattoo artist Allen Lewis was up next, and wins the award for possibly the nicest and most fun contestant of the season, especially for one who didn't have a chance to make it onto the show beyond an audition.


But he was a big ol' teddy bear who went on his way philosophizin' and still made me smile. (N' I predict we'll see him again when the finale rolls around.)

May we all take criticism so well.

Beauty pageant Stormi Henley was next.


Steven commented on her tiny little squeaky voice and wondered if she had ever just cut loose with her voice. Jennifer didn't feel the voice was strong enough, but Steven felt there was enough there to build upon and encouraged Randy to vote yes.

JLo raised an immediate objection that Stormi's voice was easily the smallest one they had heard thus far, and stated the guys voted more based on her looks than her talent.

For which I kinda just fell in love with her a little bit for saying so.

Adrienne Beasley attempted to sing her way from the farm to Hollywood, to pay her adopted parents back for how they took her in and gave her a home.


The country influence was quite strong, which gave her an exotic flavor. Steven told her that she had something special in her voice and that she almost made her cry, and their positive responses brought her to tears.

It never ceases to amaze me how the ones who just "know" they are God's give to music are usually the most tone deaf. I can almost predict from the get-go who is actually land right on their smug faces.

I could almost turn it into a drinking game.

Which, when the auditions didn't pick up, I was sorely tempted to.

I did love how Steven reached around and scolded Randy. "Don't tell people they're not good."

Honey, ya know I love ya... but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.

Twenty-eight year old Jackie Wilson brought a little Janice to the stage and let her rip, ensuring her way to Hollywood.


I liked her so much I'll leave out any snarky comment on the whole boyfriend situation.

Paul McDonald tackled a Rod Stewart tune, and definitely had a lil somethin' somethin' in his voice. (Could definitely benefit from a stylist though. And stage coaching.)


Jimmie Allen continued the streak for the guys with a lil R&B flava.


Danny Pate sang one of my favorite Temptations tunes EVER with a little blue-eyed soul.


Speaking of style, Matt Dillard showed up in his overalls which I immediately wanted to gleefully mock, but then he goes and throws a wrench in the works by being so flipping NICE. His family takes in special-needs children and he belted out a Groban tune despite his overalls an straw hat.


The votes were split, Jennifer didn't think the audition was strong enough. He made it to Hollywood but whether or not he can survive the shark tank being so dang NICE remains to be seen.

So apparently we're going to be Carrie Underwooded again. Ryan threw to commercial with a tease that we didn't want to miss the "first step in her Idol career," which pretty much takes any and all suspense out of whether or not Lauren Alaina.


This 15 year old has the personality of Kelly Pickler and the voice of Carrie, and she possesses quite a bit of confidence to make the stage her own when she takes it. She also has a sparkling personality that unlike some other younguns who made it through, I don't think it'll be grating.

Somehow though, being told that this is *the one* turns me off a lil bit. It may be true but I have yet to see a winner in this bunch, really. And that's possibly because I never really know who is going to make it until they hit the semi-finals. Being in front of an audience with the band is really where I see those stars emerge.

But I have no doubt - at all - that she's going to SAIL through Hollywood week and end up easily in the top 10.

This was a hard bunch to really handicap aside from Lauren. I really liked Jackie, Adrienne and Rob and would like to see more of them... but right now the jury is pretty much out on those who are coming from Nashville.

On to tomorrow... when Idol comes to my home state's capital city of Austin, whose motto is "Keep it Weird."

Oh yeah. It's gonna be fun.

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