On that "other" talent show "America's Got Talent," caustic Simon Cowell wannabe Piers Morgan prides himself as being the one to tell it straight.
In the case of Steven Retchless, the male pole dancer, he prefers to keep it VERY straight.
Ever since Steven first auditioned (in heels, no less) Piers has buzzed EACH and EVERY performance (aside from the Vegas one, which he couldn't), all the way to the semi-finals. He has maintained that Vegas is no place for a male pole dancing act (which is kind of like saying Vegas is no place for a slot machine or shrimp cocktail.) More truthfully Piers himself wouldn't want to go see a male pole dancer, so therefore none of us would pay the money to go see it.
Speak for yourself, dude. People who don't mind looking at the beautiful lines of a fit male body kinda prefer it. When I do my armchair judging for AGT my main criteria is if I would pay $50-100 a ticket to see it in Vegas.
I'd pay to see Steven over some of the acts that have already made it through to the top 10, and *easily* over about eight of the twelve featured tonight.
Let's break this down a bit. Though pole dancing is traditionally considered more seedy and X-rated, what Steven does on the pole is not inherently sexual. It does demonstrate the art of the entire male body, but what he does has more to do with strength, poise, grace, and agility. In truth what he does on that pole is nothing short of poetry written by the body. He has taken what the male form can do and stretched it to every conceivable limit, and it is a beautiful, amazing thing.
BUT... Piers has decided that it isn't appropriate and there's no place for it.
This is a position he maintains even though Steven has been voted through to the semi-final around (and I hope on to the top 10.)
Here's my problem with his argument: It's bullshit.
He says that he buzzed Steven (even though the performance was flawless) because it has no chance to be a million-dollar act.
YET....
He doesn't buzz The Kinetic King (another favorite but let's be honest... he has 0 chance to win,) he doesn't buzz Snap Boogie even though he claimed to hate everything about the act and then he gives a standing ovation to Anna Graceman, who butchered "Home Sweet Home."
For the record, THIS is how you vocally blow apart that song: Carrie Underwood
Compare that to this version and you can clearly see how many times she missed notes, particularly in her lower register: Anna Graceman
(For the record I like Anna and have been a fan from the beginning, but if you're going to claim that you're keeping it real, by God... keep it real.)
So why, then, would Piers opt to buzz Steven each and every performance? The excuse that it couldn't be win or be an act in Vegas - not consistent. The argument there are no clubs or audiences for male pole dancing - bald-faced lie, as evidenced by the fact that is what Steven does FOR A LIVING. You can't support yourself with your talent unless there is an audience, and where BETTER in this country to do it than in the Anything Goes atmosphere of Las Vegas?
What seems far more likely to me, at least from where I'm standing, is that the act makes him uncomfortable. If that was a female pole dancer, doing the same kind of act and the same kinds of stunts, would he buzz her?
I don't think so.
For your consideration, I present exhibit A:
The very first time we saw Steven, note that Piers buzzed him when he spread his legs:
If he performed like this:
Piers' head might actually explode.
I think that seeing the male form in such an open and raw way challenges what he thinks about sensuality. In other words... it may be stirring the little Morgan, and that's why he has decided to be consistently critical of an act that by all his other standards is not only up to par but exceeds them.
He hasn't fallen, he doesn't mess up the routine, he accomplishes great feats of strength and agility AND he's doing something completely original. So that means the reason Piers continues to buzz him when he lets other contestants off the hook is completely personal, rather than objective.
And because of that, Piers Morgan has officially lost any credibility when it comes to objectively judging the acts on AGT.
Which is a shame, because that's really the only credibility he had left.
Being pissy to a talented dancer just because he makes you feel oogie doesn't make you a hardass.
It just makes you sound like a frustrated Queen who lost the keys to her closet.
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