Do I really have to say anything about today's giveaway? It's my most beloved, and most hated, series all in one. One of the best reviews I've ever had someone wanted to hug me, yell at me, hug me again and cry.
Hello to all my new readers! Welcome to the party. :)
I've been working on building a book universe for eight years. It didn't start out with that grand scheme in mind. It just sort of... happened.
It began with what I call Easter Eggs, those little nuggets referring to other stories that fans will recognize as my little shout-out to them, recognizing and rewarding their loyalty to my books. I got the idea from Stephen King and just kind of rolled with it. Truthfully, I love it when characters from other books pop up in new stories. They surprise me often. I hope it works the same for you, just like it worked for me as a SK fan.
But, if you're new here because later books brought you into my universe, you might need a cheat sheet showing you the reading order. It's true that when it comes to the Groupieverse, you don't know the WHOLE story until you've read all the books, because I've sprinkled that fairy dust EVERYWHERE.
The safest bet is to read by order of publication because I'm a linear thinker. Some books that are out of genre, however, won't tie into the main through-line. That is not to say that your favorite characters won't still pop up from time to time (Chasing Thunder,) but here are the books that support and define my Groupieverse:
This standalone romance introduces us to Shannon, Dixie and Jorge, who pop up again in the Groupieverse in Mogul, which is Book Three of the original Groupie Saga. They also show up in the Fullerton Family Saga, starting in Book 2, Entangled. Jorge comes back often because I just love him.
Here's where my most beloved character, Vanni Carnevale, makes his grand introduction. He has a prequel, Vanni, which you can read first if you'd like to get his perspective prior to going in. He's a bit of a douchebag at first, so if you need a reason to root for him, you can start with his story first. It was written to work either way, however.
For those who are disappointed by my "big girl" stories starring smaller sizes like 12-16, Fierce introduces Jordi Hemphill, a size 20+ young woman who moves to L.A. to take Tinsel Town by storm. She ends up on Vanni's radar, and is swept into the Groupieverse as a result. All your favorites pop up in this series.
This is another standalone which introduces the Bravos into the Groupieverse. Both Graham and Jace (from the Fierce trilogy) pop up to help tell this Texas tale about a bridezilla from hell and the hot Latin cook who is about to turn her world upside down.
My Groupieverse shares the stage with my Fullerton Family Saga, which is most beloved by my readers. The Fullerton family blends well with the Groupieverse, starting with Book 2, Entangled. Vanni pops up, as does Graham, Shannon, Jorge, etc. Most importantly, it introduces Alex and Jonathan Fullerton, who will come into play in later books/series. Young Jonathan will get his own romance book one day. If you've read Beauty and the Bitch (formerly Big Fat Bitch), you've already met someone who will be very important to him in the near future.
This is another standalone that introduces a character who will enter our Groupieverse: Meghan Lawless. Expect her to shake some stuff up when I publish Rewound, the next book in the Groupieverse, coming in 2019.
My southern rockers start in Texas, but by the ends of both SRB and SRC, they end up heading for the Golden Coast of California, where everyone in the Groupieverse is waiting to help make their dreams come true. Technically speaking, Boy and Chick are the same story from two different perspectives. They are not, however, a retelling of the same book. Southern Rocker Chick is most like the Danielle Steel books I grew up reading. It's about Lacy Abernathy's life, getting her to her HEA/dream come true. Jonah Riley just happens to come along and mess up all her plans.
This series stars L.A.'s rich and powerful, so naturally they orbit in the same galaxy as my Groupie/Fullerton Family Saga characters. Graham Baxter and Alex Fullerton actually come into play in a BIG way in Book Three, but Graham was sprinkling his fairy dust long before that. (I love that man.) It also introduces Caz Bixby, whom I love even MORE. This man is now my copilot. You'll see him a LOT in upcoming books, including one just for him. (You've already met the woman who is going to rock his world, too.)
This series wasn't really written as a series on purpose, but the characters insisted that they all be grouped together. It starts with Carly Reynolds meeting Caz Bixby, which opens the Groupieverse even more. Each of these TECHNICALLY work as standalones, because whether or not the couple in question get together is answered by the end of their specific book, but the world they're living in is the same - so they're linked as family. (And I like that.) If, however, M/M romance is not your cup of tea, or... if the reverse is true and M/F is not your cup of tea, you can skip the story. But FFF embraces both couples, so... it'll help keep you up to speed to read them all.
Likewise, Beauty and the Bitch is a standalone, but we're setting the stage here for other books coming next year, listed below:
11. Rewound -> Rebound -> Renowned (coming in 2019/2020)
Here we pick up with Andy, Vanni and Graham, as well as Carly and Eli, Rudy and Tony, and, of course, Caz Bixby. If you prefer your HEA from the original book rock solid, you may want to take a pass with these. I've had to pick up some pieces of what happened in FFF, and it will throw our favorites into chaos for a while. But that's the fun of it, am I right? When they're blown apart, we can see if their love is strong enough to bring them back together again. And believe me, there's nothing I like more than falling in love with Vanni all over again.
My next group of books will be a departure from my Groupieverse, but who knows? Maybe the characters there will find a way to interject themselves into new stories. They're minxes like that.
Watch for book 1 of the Scar Trilogy, Shattered, to publish *hopefully* by the end of this year.
That's it! I hope this list is helpful. It kinda helps me, too. The vines are growing longer with each passing year. But, just like my Barbieverse from the 1980s, these are stories and characters I love to revisit, so... I predict it will only continue to grow.
Thank you so much for reading my books and loving these characters as much as I do. Please feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you think. We writers kinda live for that sort of thing. I churn out book after book, hoping I can make a connection. When you all let me know I have done what I set out to do, that rewards me in ways mere words are too small to describe.
How can you thank someone for letting you live your dream? The only thing I can do is write even more books.
So, that's what I'm going to do.
Until next time, dream big... live large... BE FIERCE.
The fact that he wants to stand apart from the grand lifestyle in which he was raised. He's more comfortable in flannel and denim than he'd ever been in a suit. He's a wise-ass, but the love for his family is matched only by how much he loathes his brother.
Nice guy or douche?
He's got a hard, douchey shell protecting a fiercely good center.
Favorite moment with him?
When, after a traumatic experience leaves Rachel phobic of water, he is right there beside her to help her overcome her fears.
Alex swam over to the side of the pool near the chaise chair in which I lounged. “Aren’t you lonely over there?” he asked softly.
I held up my book. “Never lonely, never bored.”
He smiled. “I guess it’s just me, then.” He reached out a hand but I shook my head.
“I can’t.”
“You did,” he pointed out. “Come on, Rachel. You’re not alone this time.”
I glanced over at Jonathan, who swam nearby. He nodded.
I sighed. It wasn’t fair to use my student against me, especially with this. But if I ever wanted to show Jonathan that any obstacle could be overcome, I could hardly sit idly on the sidelines, the only one who wasn’t in on the fun.
“I don’t have a suit,” I offered lamely.
Alex’s hand never faltered. “I happen to know the guy who owns the pool. He’s pretty chill on the rules.”
“Alex,” I tried again, but his eyes were sure as he sent me a strong silent message of encouragement with those amazing eyes. His hand never wavered.
With an unsteady sigh, I rose to my feet. My legs shook all the way over to the edge where he waited. I was so scared I could hardly breathe. I sat on the edge and put my legs in the water. The water wasn’t deep there, I would never sit or walk anywhere near the deep end, and theoretically I could slip right into the pool from this very spot and stand merely waist deep in the water.
But I already knew it didn’t take much depth to take a life. My throat closed up as I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m afraid,” I whispered.
He put his hands on my legs. “No, Rachel. You’re fearless. I’ve seen it time and again.”
My eyes opened and met his steady gaze. Without another word he put his hands around my waist and guided me into the water. As I felt it creep up around my body, I felt my control slip. All I could think about was Jason, and what his last harrowing minutes must have been like. “Alex,” I breathed as panic overtook me.
“It’s okay,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.”
My fingers wrapped around his strong biceps in a white-knuckle grip as he guided me away from the wall. I could barely breathe, so I focused instead on his eyes as he led us toward the center of the pool. I felt my body go buoyant, which caused me to panic even more, but he pulled me into the strong circle of his arms as he swam us toward the deeper end.
“I’m not ready,” I squeaked as I held him tighter.
“If not now, when?” he said gently. “This is all in your head, sweetheart. I know you have it in you to beat this thing.”
“You don’t know what it’s like,” I said tearfully.
“Who do you think pulled you out of the water?” he reminded. “I almost lost two people that day. And I’m never going to do that again.” My eyes searched his face as he went on. “What if there are other days, and other children,” his voice dropped, “other babies?”
My breath caught in my throat. What was he saying?
More importantly, what was he offering?
“Take a deep breath,” he instructed softly. “And believe.”
What do you love about him?
He's loyal. He's learned hard lessons in his life what happens when you're not. He's strong. He'd carry the world on his shoulders if he could make it right for someone he loves. He makes life fun. He makes life bigger than what it might have been otherwise. Unlike Drew, who could could give you the world with the snap of a finger, Alex is right there in the trenches beside you, helping you create one with nothing but hope.
What do you hate about him?
Like Drew, he's been hurt. A LOT. So he doesn't let people close. Also like Drew, he's jaded. He expects the worst from people. This makes him likely to bolt before someone could get a chance to hurt him.
If you went on a date, where would you go?
We'd ride horses to one of his orchards, where we'd stop for a picnic in the green sloping grass while we ate fresh fruit. Maybe he'd even play his guitar.
Who inspired him?
I think the reason I love him so much is because he, too, embodies my first husband. When you love someone with bipolar disorder, it can often feel like you're in love with two different people. You learn to love them both. You sometimes hate them both. But what you hate most is the war between them.
Who might play him in a movie?
Originally I saw the two Fullerton brothers as nearly identical, like twins. Drew was older, so he would be harder, but polished and refined. Alex was more devil-may-care, with longer hair and a beard. He is the "dark sheep" of the family, so he could be a little more roguish. I think an actor who may not have the same black hair/blue eyes of Drew, but captures that poetic ballet of going between asshole and hero, would be Ryan Gosling.
Do you have a special song that reminds you of him?
Alex, really, is one of my "rocker" boyfriends, in that he performs music for special audiences. He plays the guitar and, as a rancher/horseman, he really digs country music. Who else but Garth to encapsulate the rugged romantic?
The song that I refer to in the book, however, was "The Dance," so selected to honor my son Brandon.
Any "Easter Eggs" planted with this book boyfriend?
Like Rachel, I have a phobia of water. I guess that's why the scene above is so swoon-worthy to me. Like I said in the last answer, the reference to The Dance was a direct homage to my son.
Where can we find him?
You first meet him in Enticed, but you don't really get to know him until Book 2: Entangled, which is FREE today only. The trilogy ends with Enraptured, which is also on sale with a count-down deal. But get used to Alex, he pops up when you lease expect it, like my Masters series and most recently FULL-FIGURED FLOOZIES, where the Fullerton gang play key supporting characters because you know me. I can't let them go.
Enjoy getting to know Alex and tune in tomorrow for a brand new Valentine.
Yesterday we talked about Drew Fullerton, today we get to talk about his brother, Alex. Alex is by most definitions the yin to Drew's yang. Whereas Drew is a dominant alpha male, Alex prefers to keep things more low-key. Whereas Drew moves everyone around on his own personal chess board, Alex appeals to reason and logic - often using his sardonic snarky behavior to irk people into doing what he thinks is right.
Honestly that's what motivates Alex most of all. Despite coming from a long line of ruthless corporate raiders, Alex is a misplaced hippie who is more at home on a horse than he is in a boardroom. His love for the youngest and most vulnerable of the Fullerton clan makes him a fierce protector, though he has no illusions that he's any kind of savior. He understands his position in the family as "the black sheep" and plays the part accordingly.
That was why Rachel had no use for Alex from the first moment they met, even though he made it clear that she was the one with something to prove.
“Well, well, well,” I heard a male voice drawl from just beyond the fence. I turned to see what might have been Drew Fullerton’s scruffier, more uncouth twin. He was just as tall as Drew, with the same dark hair and light eyes and sculpted features. This man, however, sported longer hair and a close beard, topping off his rogue ensemble with a flannel work shirt, faded jeans and dusty, worn cowboy boots.
“Uncle Alex!” Jonathan exclaimed as he shot up off of the chaise lounge. He ran to the gate and around the yard until Alex Fullerton hoisted him up in one powerful arm.
“How you doin,’ kiddo?” Alex asked with a wide smile. He tugged at the orange belt. “You’re not a black belt yet? What’s wrong with you?”
Jonathan laughed at Alex’s teasing tone. “It takes time, Uncle Alex.”
“For everyone else,” Alex dismissed. “But for Jonathan Fullerton? I think not. You are made of too much awesome.”
“Lemme show you some new moves!” Jonathan offered as he hopped down.
“Now, buddy,” Alex chastised gently. “Don’t forget your manners. Why don’t you introduce me to your new friend?”
Jonathan walked closer to the fence where I sat. “This is Rachel Dennehy. She’s my new teacher.”
I stood and approached the iron fence. “We’re still working on that part,” I corrected. “I’m in the interview process, you could say.”
Alex’s hands landed on either of Jonathan’s shoulders. “Hope Master Jonathan here went easy on you,” he offered with an easy smile that never quite made it up to those steely eyes, which gave me the same critical once-over his nephew had.
“Hey, are those Cleo’s homemade chocolate chip cookies?” he asked. Jonathan nodded, so Alex patted him on the back. “Feel like fetching your old uncle a plate?” Another vigorous nod before Jonathan raced off into the house to accommodate a man he clearly idolized.
Knowing what little I knew of their family history, I found it a tad ironic.
Alex leaned over the fence. “So my brother finally did it,” he commented as his eyes swept over me.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”
“Brought in a ringer,” he clarified. “What better weapon to prevent his ex-wife from getting full custody than putting a matronly female influence right in the house?”
Matronly? Was that a nice way of calling me fat? I stood straighter. “I’m just here to teach,” I informed him stiffly.
“Good,” he said as he glanced down at me with narrowed eyes. “Because if you’re looking to cash in, you’re barking up the wrong tree.”
My eyebrow arched. “Excuse me?”
“It’s not like we haven’t seen this before,” he offered offhand. “Single billionaire, big, empty Beverly Hills mansion and a lonely kid who desperately needs a mom. Easy pickings for a smart gold-digger.” My fur started to rise but he went on, undaunted. “Hell, we even saw it when he was a married billionaire. One of the main reasons he’s single now.” He looked me over again, another liberal sweep of my fuller curves that grated against my last nerve. “I will give him credit, though. He’s definitely casting against type this time around. Natural hair color, no breast augmentation and no designer clothes. You really do look like a school teacher.”
My eyes narrowed. “That’s because that is what I am. I don’t appreciate any insinuation otherwise.”
He held up a hand. “No offense intended,” he said. “And if I misjudged you, I apologize. I’m more than willing to be wrong.”
“Really?” I challenged as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.
“Yeah,” he said as he glanced toward Jonathan, who approached with a plate full of cookies. “For his sake. You really want to do him a favor? Go back home. Let his mother have a fighting chance to raise him way the hell away from this poisonous family.”
Needless to say, it wasn't the best first impression. Even worse, Alex inserts himself wherever he can to needle this outsider. His objective is simple. Get his young nephew as far away from Drew as possible, before he loses him forever to the curse of their family. If he has to hurt a few feelings to achieve that, then he's perfectly okay with that. He quickly shoots to the list of Rachel's least favorite people. Like everyone else, she believes Alex can't hold a candle to his older, more successful brother, Drew.
I found Alex in the living room, standing in front of the family portrait. He seemed lost in the image, so much so I had to clear my throat to get his attention. “Mr. Fullerton,” I said as I stepped into the room.
He turned around to face me. “Rachel,” he greeted. “Can’t say I’m surprised you came back, but after everything Jonathan told us about you, I can honestly say I’m disappointed.”
“Is that why you summoned me? To chastise me for accepting a job in my chosen profession?”
His brow furrowed. “This isn’t some teaching job and you know it. You can’t be that naïve, no matter where you’re from.”
I bit back a sigh. “So I take it I’ve graduated from gold-digging tramp to ignorant hick, is that it?”
He sent a snarky smirk in my direction. “Who says you can’t be all four? You look like a multi-tasker to me.”
My fur started to rise. “Is there a point to this little meeting?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest as I stared at him.
“Since you are now living full-time with my nephew, his mother and I want to make sure that you are both qualified to teach him and emotionally equipped to handle the changes that are going to happen in the near future.”
My eyebrow arched. “And who exactly is fit to judge me for either?”
“Is there anyone who is better to decide this than a child’s mother? Clearly she would want to meet with you, to see if your motives truly are sincere.”
“If I wasn’t, I doubt very much Drew would have hired me,” I said. This made Alex chuckle.
“Seems you’ve gotten a little chummier than the last time we spoke,” he pointed out. “First name basis and all that. What exactly is your title again?”
I smiled sweetly. “Take it up with my boss,” I directed before I spun to leave.
Only this time he was on my heels before I could make it to the stairs. “What’s the matter, Rachel?” he asked as he spun me back around with one hand. “Afraid you’ll open your mouth and a bone will fall out? There are no skeletons in your closet this family doesn’t already possess. You can be honest with me.”
“I can be,” I agreed. “I just don’t want to be. Frankly, it’s none of your business what I do or don’t do. You’re not Jonathan’s father.”
“I also don’t have a $28-million dollar mansion in Beverly Hills,” he returned.
“You really think that’s what this is about, don’t you?”
He shrugged. “Not the first time. Doubt it will be the last.”
Rachel trusts him even less when he changes tactics.
“Having fun?”
And just like that, my good mood ground to a halt just like my swinging did. I dragged my feet in the sand until I came to a complete stop, then I turned to Alex Fullerton, who stood nearby. “I was,” I said pointedly.
He didn’t take the hint. Instead he walked to the swing next to me and sat down. “I guess I win the bet,” he said as he started to swing.
My teeth ground together as my jaw clenched. “What bet is that?” I finally asked as I resumed my swinging as well.
“I knew you’d take over the visitations. Elise said that you would never be so presumptuous. But she doesn’t know you like I do.”
I kicked harder as I swung higher. “Funny. Considering you don’t know me at all,” I said.
We passed each other as our swings crossed, his going up as I was coming back down again. “I knew you’d be here,” he smirked.
“I’m here because Jonathan asked me to be,” I clarified. “These meetings upset him. But I assume you already know that since you know everything.”
It came out much snarkier than I had intended. He chuckled in response. “At least we agree on one thing,” he said as he swung even higher.
“Is there a point to your pestering me? Or are you just bored?”
“I don’t get bored,” he said as he passed me again. I slowed my own swing considerably at his surprising revelation, which so closely mirrored my own thoughts on boredom. I couldn’t help but wonder exactly how much Jonathan had told him about me. Had he unintentionally armed this man with things he could use against me? Before I could ask, Alex went on. “I saw you swinging. You looked like you were having fun. So I joined you. Simple as that.”
“Simple, huh?” I questioned. “This has nothing whatsoever to do with your isolating me away from everyone so that you can further your case to let Elise have more access to Jonathan?”
This caused Alex to laugh harder. “Sounds like my brother already got into your head, Miss Dennehy. It’s not as nefarious as you make it sound. I just wanted to swing next to a pretty girl. No harm in that, is there?”
I made a face as I stopped the swing. He really had gone too far. “Good day, Mr. Fullerton,” I said as I rose from the swing and pointed myself back to the pier.
Unfortunately he jogged to catch up to me. “Was it something I said?” he tried to smirk in good humor.
I spun on him. “I know what you think of me, Mr. Fullerton. And that’s fine. Think whatever you want. Whatever helps you sleep at night, I don’t care. But don’t you dare try to butter me up like I’m some airheaded wallflower at the mercy of your insincere flattery.”
He held up both hands. “Cool your jets, sister. I wasn’t trying to butter you up. I was just paying you a compliment. It’s customary to say ‘thank you,’ not bite a guy’s head off.”
As you can see, he doesn't have a whole lot in common with Drew. He does, however, have a lot in common with Rachel. The shocking revelations unravel in book one, proving exactly how much. Rachel finds herself batted around between the two very different, very powerful brothers, and has to muster all her emotional fortitude to handle it.
Like I said yesterday, these two brothers were born from my experience living with a man with bipolar disorder. Like Rachel, there were days I didn't know who I would be dealing with from moment to moment. I know a little bit about loving and hating the same person all at the same time. In the FFS, I split them up into brothers and let my heroine try to figure it out from there.
For that reason alone, Alex is near and dear to me. His good qualities are indeed good and noble. His bad qualities, well... those were a part of the deal too. I love him every bit as much as I love Drew, and sometimes hate him every bit as much as I sometimes hate Drew. They equally hurt her, and by default equally hurt me. Yet, like Rachel, I could see what they *could* be, and that's why I hung in there. As their creator, I split their personalities right down the middle. My task was to have them meet more in the middle by the time the series was done, letting the lines blur accordingly.
Boy, did they, especially as Rachel gets to know the painful backstory that both Drew and Alex share. We had a LOT to wade through, hence the three books.
Like Drew, Alex has been such a part of my life for so long, I can't really "cast" him with anyone. He looks a lot like Drew, but unlike Drew, he doesn't care about fancy clothes and cars. He wears his hair long. He sports a beard. He has no interest in being contained to some stuffy office. Instead, he fights for right outside the boardroom. His money and his last name mostly embarrass him. Still, he's got the innate swagger of a true Fullerton.
If y'all have suggestions, I'm all ears.
The song for Alex is actually my song for Brandon, the son that I lost just before I wrote this story. It's a song about loss, which Alex knows a lot about. Honestly this connects Alex and Rachel more than anything else.
Since they are such kindred spirits, Rachel is the only one, aside from Jonathan maybe, who sees what Alex could be. He knows it, but doesn't know what to do with it. Just like she did with Drew, she rocks Alex to the core, shaking his entire foundation. Better still... she gets through to him.
“Ho, ho, ho!” Alex greeted jovially. We turned to see him in full costume as Santa Claus, complete with a full bag slung over his shoulder. “Merry Christmas, y’all,” he added as he glanced at me.
“What are you doing?” Drew hissed.
“Spreading joy and cheer,” Alex answered with a wide smile. Nothing made him happier than putting his brother off his game. “Tis the season and all that.”
“You look ridiculous,” Drew muttered. “Why must you take every family function and make a mockery of it?”
“How can you expect anything else when you insist on parading around our mockery of a family?” Alex challenged. “Unless, of course, your miracle worker has fixed that, too.”
Drew put his arm around me to pull me close. “I don’t think that is any of your business, Alex.”
“Of course not,” Alex sneered. “I’m just a Fullerton, after all.”
“Alex, please,” I said under my breath. “Don’t make a scene.”
He laughed. “I’m a big fat guy in red velvet. Santa doesn’t exactly play it small, sweets.” He put the bag on the ground. “But I come bearing gifts.” He withdrew a stocking for Drew, which happened to be full of charcoal. “Bad luck again, old man,” he said with a shrug. “Guess you’ll have to get all your goodies from your good pal, De Havilland. He owes you after your generous donations to his campaign and Entrepreneurs for American Liberty, don’t you think?”
“That is none of your concern,” Drew hissed through clenched teeth.
“Of course not,” Alex repeated. He dug around in the bag and brought out a gift-wrapped box. “And for the good teacher,” he said as he handed me the gift. His eyes were hard on me as I opened the flat box and withdrew the one-way ticket back to Texas. “It’s the gift that keeps on giving. You get your freedom, and Elise gets her son back. It’s a win-win.”
Drew was livid as he tore the ticket in half. “I want you out of my house, Alex.”
Alex laughed as he hoisted the bag back over his shoulder. “No can do, brah,” he said. “You can’t kick Santa out of your house on Christmas. It’s the one time the trespasser is more welcome than the thief,” he added as he glared at me. He spun on his heel and went into the ballroom, hollering, “ho-ho-ho” like he was a part of the venue entertainment.
Drew stalked to his study and slammed the door shut. I honestly didn’t know which brother to chase after. I decided to curtail as much damage as possible by tracking down Alex, who was bestowing gifts to his favorite nephew near one of the majestic trees in the ballroom. Jonathan had no clue how much of a problem his uncle’s presence caused for his dad. All he knew was that all the people he loved were in the same place. I let them interact for a few minutes before I gently interrupted and pulled Alex out of the ballroom.
Since the common areas downstairs were open as a holiday showcase, I had to pull him into my office so that we could speak privately. “You’ve made your point,” I said after I closed the door. “Can’t that be enough for once?”
Alex laughed. “You are something else. Not only are you Jonathan’s governess, but you’re a party planner, hostess and now… bouncer. You take multi-tasking to the next level, princess.”
“Look, I know you don’t like me…,” I started, but he was quick to interrupt.
“Who says I don’t like you?”
“You do. Every chance you get.”
He walked to where I stood at the door. “If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t care what happened to you,” he pointed out as his eyes swept across my face. “You may not see it now, but I am trying to save you.”
“From what?” I challenged.
His eyes slid down to my mouth. “From us.”
I backed up a step, but he pulled me back. “Elise… Nina… my mother… Fullerton men always destroy the women that they love. You think you can save us, but you can’t. You’re just prolonging the inevitable. Especially where Jonathan is concerned. You want to give us a gift? Leave. Let this house of ruin fall to decay like it should have done years ago.”
“I know you’re bitter,” I said softly, and he chuckled in response as he pulled away. “I don’t need the dirty details. I know it’s bad… poisonous… between the two of you. But you are still a family. You just need one person to give a damn. To fight.”
“And you think you’re that person, is that it?”
“I think you’re that person,” I told him as I squared my chin. “You’ve got a good heart, Alex. I’ve seen it. With Max, with Jonathan, with complete strangers at the mission. And I know you got that from your mom.” He looked away. “She did everything she could to save her boys by binding you both together. All this fighting and bitterness, it can’t be what she wanted for the both of you. Nothing is worth the hatred. Not the money, not the women, not the kids. It just takes one of you to decide to be the bigger man. You want to prove to me how sincere you are? Let it be you.”
He turned to stare at me for a long moment. Clearly he was dissecting what I had said, looking for something, anything, to use against me. I no longer cared what he thought about me. It was time to end the bitter feud between these two brothers once and for all.
I turned to leave, but his words stopped me.
“Don’t you have a gift for good ol’ Saint Nick?” he asked softly.
I turned back to face him. “What did you have in mind?”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sprig of mistletoe as he approached. He stopped a breath apart and held it above his head. His eyes dared me to defy his request. Maybe it was a test. I had come to expect that from him. Instead I stepped closer, braced myself on his arm and stood on my tiptoes to plant a soft, lingering kiss on his stubbly cheek. “Merry Christmas, Alex,” I said as I pulled away.
His eyes engulfed me. “Merry Christmas, Rachel,” he murmured. He hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and slipped through the door. I followed him down the hall, but instead of going into the ballroom, he walked right out the front door.
Suffice it to say, it's up to Rachel to save BOTH of them.
Will she? Won't she? Buy THE FULLERTON FAMILY SAGA to find out. I've dropped the price of ENTANGLED, the second book of the series (and the book we really get to know Alex,) to $0.99 for a limited time only. This brings your total cost for all three books to $3.50. Not a bad price to fall in love with two very different brothers, and possibly get your heart ripped out in the process. Seriously I re-read the series last night and...
If you love angst, and you love passion, and you love complications and drama and *feeling* something when you read a story, this may be the story for you.
Undeniably my most successful series has been my Fullerton Family Saga. It really isn't even a contest. Even two years after its release, I sell more of these books than anything else I've written - the GROUPIE saga included. This series touched a nerve with so many readers, even though it was probably one of the riskiest story lines I had ever crafted. The accepted wisdom among writers is that you should always write in a way that scares you, and I try my best to live up to that mantra. The further I got into this story, the more it had me nervous as hell. With each click of "publish," I was sure I was going to lose everyone with how each book ended. Given the first and second books were so well received, publishing that third book, not knowing how these readers who had invested so much time in these characters would react to the way it all ended, was one of the scariest fucking things I'd ever done. And it's true, I lost some readers just like I feared I might. In fact, I think it'd be safe to say that ENRAPTURED, the third book in this series, probably garnered more 1-star reviews than any of my other books, from readers who simply hated the way I ended it. I shattered their hearts with this story, and Drew Fullerton was a huge reason why.
He's also the of the biggest reasons why there are enough people who loved the story to keep the average rating well above 4 stars, which came as a pretty big surprise to me. Many a reader clicked 5-stars through their tears, which I didn't expect. Many were cursing me all the way, which I kinda did.
"Why?! That same question has been on repeat in my head over and over and over since I finished this book. Why?! Ginger, WHY?! I waited a full day after finishing the book before even attempting to write up this review and I'm still not sure how I'm gonna get through it without completely losing my $**t. I should have know, I did know, that there was a real good chance this book was going to destroy me-between the blurbs leading up to this final installment and that terrifying little sneak peak at the end of Entangled....I wasn't wrong to be worried, typing this up days later (now months later) and I'm still in an emotional tailspin. If I could hunt down Ms. Ginger Voight I would hug her, beat her with my pitchfork, then cry on her shoulder. I can't remember the last time a book has affected me like this, so I guess no matter how I feel about how it all went down at the end, there is no denying Ginger Voight is an amazing author for bringing such strong emotions out of me through her pen alone." - 5- Heartsick, Broken and Pi$$ed off -Stars*****, Jenn Green August 21, 2014
And I feel your pain. Really I do. This book devastated me too. Part of me wants desperately to apologize, even though I know that this was how the story was always meant to be.
Some backstory, for those who don't know. I originally wrote the book the FFS was based on in 1995. This was the year my youngest son died when he was only nine days old, so there wasn't a whole lot of rest that year. We're talking endless sleepless nights where I needed something to keep my mind preoccupied. I needed to focus on those things I could control. Like always, I took to the page. I immersed myself in the highest highs, and the lowest lows, to make sense out of a world that suddenly didn't make any sense at all. I worked day and night to finish. It took only a few months, and... truth be told... it wasn't very good.
I actually have a copy of that first book somewhere around here, written out in longhand.
I wrote this story based on the genre tropes I had been introduced to when I was a kid. The very first romance novel I remember reading was a Harlequin. It was pretty old when I got it (easily early 70s, and I didn't read it until 1980,) and it was exotic in that the book was both published in and centered around England. A young ingenue moved in with a handsome, rich single dad, to work as a nanny for his child where the question of "will they/won't they" wasn't answered until the very end, which kept me turning the pages furiously to see them act upon this undeniable attraction.
Somehow that stuck when I'd craft this tale some fifteen years later.
By then, though, I wouldn't have known how to be an ingenue if I tried. I was pretty broken and beaten by that point, so the heroine I wrote ended up wearing my scars. In those early days my heroine was still breathtakingly beautiful though. When I was writing books in the 1990s, I thought that was just how it was supposed to be done. I made her everything I wasn't physically, even though I really didn't have any experience what it is like to live in that kind of woman's skin. The book ended up being very long, much longer than what you might find in your typical Harlequin romance novel. This meant it felt muddled and unfocused, with me going way too far on things that didn't really matter while stopping just short of tearing the wounds off of all the things that did. I knew when I finished it that I had a lot of work in front of me to turn it into the story it deserved to be.
Not to mention I broke some pretty big rules, so I knew that I would have to shelve that project because there wasn't any way it was going to get past any kind of gatekeeper in the shape it was in.
Back then you had to worry about those things.
I didn't resurrect the story until 2013. I had always planned to rewrite and release it, and by then I had the beyond brilliant idea to change my heroine into a size-12 and allow it to guide my story accordingly. This made it way more interesting to me, especially when I also decided spread the story out into three books, since this particular plot worked best broken off into manageable chunks that were made that much stronger by how focused I could be.
Since I was an indie, I didn't let the so-called "rules" deter me from writing the story I knew I needed to write. This was way more a saga than a traditional romance story, and truthfully, these are the kinds of books I like to write best. Don't get me wrong. I love a good romance like anyone else. But I also don't mind getting down and dirty, talking about life and love and pain and death and loss and fear and all the other ingredients that spice up our lives outside of the bedroom. If you're going into the book to see a woman hook up with a billionaire, this book will probably frustrate you. Most of the connection my heroine, Rachel, initially has with any Fullerton male is with the billionaire's son she has come to tutor exclusively. Theirs is a tender, healing relationship, where she swoops in to save this poor kid from getting lost in the drama that surrounds his life, and he saves her from a painful cocoon that has left her isolated and afraid to give her heart away.
We get around to the romance because I mean come on. This is Drew Fullerton. He is a commanding, take-charge alpha, one who didn't get to become CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company by shyly letting opportunities pass him by. He was a man who took what he wanted and felt very entitled to do so, thanks to his privileged breeding alone. He was born to be the king of his world and planned to do whatever it took to keep it that way.
But this story is so much bigger than a romance between a billionaire single father and his nanny. The reason I call it the Fullerton Family Saga is because that is exactly what it is - a family saga. I go after everything in this story. I deal with divorce and death, pregnancy, marriage, infidelity, betrayal, parenthood, brotherhood, murder, power, corruption... you name it, it's in there. It's about our modern life, but turned up to 11. (Why? Because life GOES to 11.)
So what can I tell you about Drew Fullerton?
Well, he's ridiculously rich, obviously. He lives in a $28-million-dollar home in Beverly Hills, with a fleet of exotic cars he can change right along with his mood.
“You certainly don’t mind making a statement,” I muttered as he peeled away to scream down the street to the very next stoplight.
“We weren’t created to live small,” he responded with a confident smirk.
He's also ridiculously handsome, obviously. Because he demands excellence in every area of his life, his physical health is in as good of shape as his bank account. By the time he is 30, he has created a world around him that he can control with nothing more than the crook of his finger, much like his formidable father before him, who trained him well on how to be one of the privileged elite.
To put it bluntly, he's a sophisticated, self-involved smooth-talking asshole.
He's a very powerful man because he was raised to be powerful at any cost, which might explain his failed marriage. Well, that and the many rumors that this magnate had a roving eye for the ladies, one that only got worse after his beautiful ballerina wife gained a ton of weight when she was pregnant with their son. Despite any allegations of his infidelity, he somehow retained custody of their son when they finally split. He ran one of the biggest companies in the world, amassing a fortune and making or breaking the lives of all the little people that might get in the way. He's not used to being denied or having his plans circumvented, making sure anyone who might dare to do so - including the mother of his child - would be punished accordingly.
Enter Rachel Dennehy, a strong Texas woman with even stronger principles and a low tolerance for bullshit. And Drew's life is filled to the brim with bullshit, thanks to a bitter divorce and even more contentious rivalry with his only surviving relative. His brother Alex has defected to "the other side" in a vain attempt to save vulnerable Jonathan from the curse of the Fullerton family. His main purpose in life? Being such a big thorn in Drew's side that he can't ignore him.
As you can see, it's complicated from the start. I needed a strong heroine who could, despite their different economic classes, stand toe-to-toe with Drew Fullerton to demand - and get - the respect she deserved.
“I think you misunderstood exactly what kind of educator I was seeking for my son. He is going to be a titan in business, following four generations of Fullertons before him. He needs to be prepared. You’ll forgive me if I don’t think measuring ingredients and shopping at the market qualify as the higher education for which I’m paying very good money.”
I placed the fork on the plate, my appetite totally obliterated under his heavy disdain. “You wanted me to teach your son, and I have done that. More importantly, I’ve reached him. He knows he can trust me, especially after I shielded him from that family debacle yesterday. This morning I gave Jonathan four different tests. In math, he was tested on fractions and word problems. The skills he learned with a quick trip to the store helped him score in the 99th percentile testing at near seventh-grade levels. He earned similar marks on his science paper, where he was tested on how certain elements react to each other, something he learned hands-on with a simple cooking lesson. For his history essay, he researched and wrote a thousand-word document on the Greystone Mansion and Park where we walked and explored which—if I’m not mistaken—qualifies under your physical fitness requirement as well. Finally I tested him on the book he’s been reading for pleasure, with a questionnaire that helped him think critically about the material he was reading simply for the joy of it, giving him several key vocabulary words to note as he read along. Though it isn’t a classic, it is a book that has been in my own curriculum for years, and I’m confident at least one student who reads it will go on and get an Ivy League education.”
His jaw clenched as he realized what I had done. I had taken Jonathan from a stale, unchallenging classroom environment with endless tests and bookwork, all of which had been crippling his curious and playful nature. By putting him in an entirely foreign setting, he learned how to do the things Drew wanted him to do, right down to the budgeting skills at the market, but in new ways that would naturally keep him more engaged than the boring ol’ status quo. All these experiences had been an adventure for him. And Jonathan had never even realized what I had done until I had quizzed him on it that very morning.
My hazel eyes glittered just as hard as Drew’s icy blue ones. “You may question my methods, Mr. Fullerton, but my results are indisputable. Considering I did all this in two days, even playing keep-away with your ex-wife and your pain-in-the-ass brother, I’d say I’ve done a hell of a lot more than the previous instructors you have hired to do this job.”
Normally I wouldn’t have cursed at an employer. But his elitist attitude really pissed me off. Did he really believe his son was too good to wash a dish or cook a meal, as if these mundane tasks held no value for such powerful, wealthy people? And if that was true, how did he regard anyone who had the misfortune of being born average? Did he think we were all beneath him, simply because we had no one to treat us like gods? The Texan was coming out, and he was either going to prove he could deal with that or he was going to send me home anyway. I had nothing to lose. In fact, the only one who had anything at all at stake was Jonathan.
“Now, if you don’t approve of my more unconventional methods, then you can gas up the jet and send me home tonight. But I’m willing to bet that you won’t find anyone else who can reach Jonathan the way that I have. I have a connection with him. That was what you wanted. That is what you got.” I grabbed a glass of ice water and gulped it down. “Do with that what you will.”
Before he could reply, Jonathan raced back into the room, wearing a new jade green kimono and holding the entire box set of his favorite Anime program. “Thanks, Dad!” he said as he rushed to hug his father. “Let’s watch it together,” he pleaded hopefully.
I used that opportunity to slide my chair back and rise from the table. “I think I’ll retire for the evening. Let you two catch up.”
Jonathan was crestfallen. “No, Rachel,” he said with a plaintive whine in his voice. “Please don’t go. You haven’t even had any pudding.”
“Pudding?” Drew echoed.
Jonathan nodded. “She made homemade Southern banana pudding.”
I shook my head. “You enjoy it. I’m stuffed,” I lied easily. “The dinner was excellent, Jonathan. You did a great job.” I turned to Drew. “It was very nice meeting you, Mr. Fullerton. I trust you’ll think about what I said and let me know if there has been any change in plans.”
Jonathan was panicked as he looked between his father and me. “Change of plans? You’re not leaving, are you, Rachel?”
“No decisions have been made,” Drew filled in before I could speak. “Why don’t you go get us some pudding, Jonathan? That sounds delicious.”
Jonathan nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. Drew rose to his feet and walked around the table to face me. “Obviously I’m not used to being spoken to in such a way in my own home,” he said, his voice hard but quiet. “But obviously I offended you. I apologize.” He offered his hand.
It was a gesture of civility, but his eyes were still lethal as they stared down at me. My hand shook as I placed it in his. His fingers closed around mine powerfully as he pulled me closer. I gasped as I stopped short mere inches from that massive chest. I hadn’t been this close to a man in many years, especially a man as intimidating as Drew Fullerton. I was certain that he could feel the tremble in my grasp when my eyes shot to his. His face broke apart in a victorious smile. “Start over?” he asked softly. “Rachel?”
She wasn't going to put up with his mess, and she let it him know it in short order. But he was sure to wrestle the power back the minute he could... in whatever way he could. And he could simply because he's Drew Fullerton, and he plays to win.
The boys approached the traveling rings course, where they could swing from ring to ring and work out their upper bodies. Drew hoisted Jonathan up to grab the first ring, and then encouraged him (and spotted him) along the course as far as he could make it, which was about six rings. Jonathan hopped down, rubbing his arms with happy grimace. “Dad, can you believe it? I can do six now!” he said, beaming with pride.
“Way to go!” Drew praised with a congratulatory fist bump. “My challenge is seven, then.”
“Five!” Jonathan giggled.
Drew turned to me. “Looks like you are my impartial observer. How many do you think I should do?”
I held up my hands. “Don’t get me involved. This is a testosterone thing.”
He laughed as he peeled his shirt from his body, which he tossed to me for safe keeping. I nearly choked on my tongue as my eyes scanned across his perfectly chiseled torso. His skin had a satiny glow under the blazing sun overhead, and a light smattering of dark hair covered his chest, tapering all the way down to a thin line pointing straight towards his shorts like nature’s arrow. I was speechless as he walked to a more advanced ring course. We followed silently behind.
His muscles rippled under his skin as he jumped to grab that first ring. His arms were rock solid as he swung from the first ring toward the second. He maneuvered his body with such mastery along the course that bystanders gathered to watch. He paused only briefly from ring five to ring six, glancing down to his son with a teasing smile. “Should I go for it?” he asked.
Jonathan’s head bobbed up and down. “Go for it, Dad!”
Drew swung easily all the way to the end of the course, where he used two rings to do a flip and hold before he dismounted. When he landed on both feet in the sand, his audience of fans clapped, even though I was willing to wager not one of them knew who he was. He gave them a salute before he trotted over to where we stood. He grabbed the shirt I had forgotten I was holding to wipe the glistening sweat from his face and chest.
Though I never considered myself one of those girls who would go bug-eyed over a hot physique, I found myself unable to speak.
He wore that same affable grin. “Your turn.”
I shook my head but Jonathan bounced next to me. “Yes! Rachel, do it!”
“Do I look like a gymnast to you people?” I asked as they pulled me back to the wussier course.
Drew took me by the hand and guided me under that first ring. “You can do this. Summon your superpower,” he added with a wink.
I glanced at the ring and shook my head. “This is more your thing,” I said, but Drew was undaunted. He stepped closer, and I had to physically stop myself from taking a step back.
“I’ll help you,” he said softly as he wrapped those strong hands around my waist. “Jump,” he commanded softly.
I jumped, and he effortlessly lifted me higher to reach the ring. “Swing backward, use your momentum to get to the next ring,” he instructed, his hands still around my waist as he guided me to swing to the next ring. I missed it twice before I grabbed it in my hand, but I couldn’t muster the transition to the third ring.
“You got it, Rachel,” he said.
I tried to swing and let go, but ended up slipping right out of the ring and toppling headlong into the sand, taking one of the most powerful men in the world along with me. We landed together in a thud, his body covering my own.
For a moment, I was completely discombobulated. His eyes drifted to my open mouth as I gasped.
Jonathan was on his knees beside us in a flash. “Are you OK?”
A smile tugged at the corner of Drew’s mouth as those knowing eyes scanned my face. “She’s perfect. Aren’t you, Rachel?”
Granted it is not uncommon for me to break down my Asshole Heroes, rather gleefully in fact, to turn them into something even remotely resembling a Prince Charming worthy of the heroines and happily ever afters we all want for them. With some stories, this is more of a struggle than others. With Drew, we battled daily. Just when he would do something terrible, where I was absolutely sure no one could forgive him, he'd take control back away from me. He was Drew Fullerton, g*ddammit, and he was going to have his way one way or the other.
“Tell me, Rachel,” he continued as he fit my body against his hardening contours, “do you long to be held? To be kissed?” He bent toward me and whispered, “To be taken?”
My brain scrambled as he lifted me up to crush his mouth on mine. It was every dream realized, though I was blissfully conscious. I groaned under him as he parted my lips and dominated my mouth. Every alarm in my head sounded, but my treacherous body ignored each and every one as it strained for him with a hunger so strong I felt powerless to control it.
His fingers wound in my hair as he stole the very breath from my lungs with each kiss. His mouth dragged to my neck, his breath hot in his ear. “Tell me you want me, Rachel.”
I shuddered against him. “Drew.”
“Tell me,” he begged in a hoarse whisper as his hands slid down the arch of my back and over the curve of my hip.
My hands braced on his chest, but instead of pushing myself away, my palms delighted in how solid he felt. This was no dream. It was real. He was real. This was actually happening. It sent a jolt through my entire body. “I don’t want you,” I eked out in a pitiful whisper.
“Liar,” he growled as he picked me up into his arms and carried me around to the bed.
So... yeah. Suffice it to say, I couldn't say no to Drew either.
Drew is such a strong presence to me that I can't even cast him, even if I wanted to. I have never found anyone anywhere who matches the guy I have pictured in my head. I have yet to find the man who is that intoxicating mix of male beauty and sheer strength, one with a strong chin and sculpted cheekbones, or those bright eyes framed with jet black lashes that only make those icy blue depths appear bottomless. And they need to be intense. He needs to be intense, with such a powerful aura that alone will take your breath away. All the physical stuff is just gravy. But even then, their hair isn't black enough. Their eyes aren't blue enough. They don't have his same physical build, which I can only describe by referring to Bruce Willis in his David Addison Days. Tall but not too tall. Broad but not too big. Strong enough to take control of an embrace, but slight enough that you don't disappear entirely. The kind of guy that whether he's wearing a suit or nothing at all, you kinda want to climb just like a rock wall.
(That's one of the songs from the playlist, by the way. And quite appropriately, I think.)
Ian Somerhalder comes the closest, but even he looks almost too boyish for the picture I have in my head.
He left a lasting impression on my readers and reviewers, too. From Bookworm Betties:
If you take a chance on Drew, I can only tell you that he will break your heart. Repeatedly. Despite his being a gazillionaire Hottie McBody, he's a real fixer upper. He was born out of the ashes of my own life. I met my first husband when I was 17 and he was 27. For the next seven years, I walked through the fires of bipolar hell without even knowing what it was. He struggled with two parts of himself, the good one, the one who would walk my mother to her car in the snow so she wouldn't slip, and the "Shadow," the one who would push his weight around even (sometimes especially if) if it terrified around him. It was his way or the highway, and God help anyone who might challenge him.
Drew was born from this dominant side and brings with him all the complications that entails. He needs the love of a good, strong woman to save him from the curse of his family name. Whether she does or doesn't, I won't say. This is strictly a spoiler-free zone, simply because these books have a stronger emotional impact if things are revealed in the timeline of the books.
I will only say that if you're the kind of person who needs a warning to read a book, these are *not* the books for you. In fact, you might want to skip my catalog altogether.
Discover Drew Fullerton in ENTICED, which is free across all platforms.
**Yesterday's NINTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS blog was delayed due to some unforeseen circumstances, but has been uploaded a day late so you didn't miss anything.
Check it out here.
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MEMORY
We talked before about the lean Christmases after my Dad died. During that first holiday without him, I experienced one of the most disappointing Christmases of my life. Believe it or not, it was even worse than Christmas 1980. Dad had died, yes. And there were presents under that tree, from Mom and Dad, that broke my heart to look at them. When I unwrapped those presents, they were meaningless in the whole scope of things. Without Daddy, nothing mattered. Nothing made sense. Nothing eased the ache.
Because Dad died so close to Christmas, his final arrangements took priority, so it wasn't even like it was Christmas at all. Looking back I can see I was probably in shock.
Fast-forward to 1981, and I had a little distance. I had done a little healing. I was ready to throw myself into my favorite holiday. I let myself get caught up in the excitement of things. I needed the perpetual hope that the holiday season always seemed to bring. For a twelve-year-old, that meant I really wanted to get something good under the tree.
At the time, I wanted a pair of roller skates. Rollerskating was still a "thing" in 1981. All my friends would go to the skating rink and hang out, and all I wanted in the world was to fit in among them. That painful year had taught me a lot about how I stood out, and nothing made me stand out MORE than the fact I wasn't like other kids. Not only had I matured early, with all the things that come along with puberty like body hair, boobs and acne, I wasn't quite a kid in all the ways that counted back in those days. I didn't know how to swim or skate. I couldn't do the monkey bars. I failed routinely at any sport I dared try. I can't even TALK about Duck, Duck, Goose. The only thing I had managed to do was teach myself how to ride my sister's old discarded bike a few years before, so I was determined I was going to get a pair of skates and I was going to reclaim the cool that had always come so effortlessly before.
Funny thing about cool. You can chase it all over the world, but you never catch it until you realize you don't need to chase it at all. I didn't know this at the time, of course. Just like every other prepubescent kid on planet earth, I just wanted to fit in with everyone else, people that I now accepted were better than me, (like the aforementioned Beth.)
There were several presents under that tree, some in boxes large enough to contain a pair of skates. I thought for sure Mom had come through for me and got me what I wanted, like so many Christmases before. I told her confidently that one of those boxes definitely contained some skates. She, instead, told me to pull back my expectations, but I thought she was bluffing. That was until I opened said box, and it had a lamp in it. Other gifts that year had included a puzzle, some perfume and a little blue diary that was fit with its very own key.
As you can see from the above pic, I was able to smile through the puzzle simply because the *big* gift hadn't been opened, and I didn't realize how bitterly disappointed I would be.
Used to be I'd look at this photo and see a kid who was about to get her heart broken. This year I see something else. I see the tiny black and white television on the stand behind me, which didn't even get cable. As an adult I can see how we struggled just to have the little joys in life, and there I was sitting in the midst of half a dozen presents my mom managed to buy me, even when she had to buy for my sister's family (including her four kids,) like the luckiest kid on earth, and I didn't know it.
In other words, I see how much my mom tried.
We don't see that as kids sometimes. Our tunnel vision filters out those things we can never understand, like juggling a budget, paying bills, and managing single parenthood the very best one knows how. Recently my sister told me that of my Dad's $10,000 life insurance policy, my mom got $4000. She spent quite a few years paying off his final expenses, which included nearly two weeks in the hospital before he died of a heart attack.
I knew these things then. But I didn't understand them. I was just a kid. I didn't even realize that the dairy she gave me, where I could use my newly discovered writing skills to work through my thoughts and feelings in a private, judgment free zone, WAS the best gift she could have ever given me.
Looking back, I can tell you that was far more useful to me than some old pair of skates I probably wouldn't have used much anyway.
Mothers. They just know. And sometimes we forget that, particularly when we're young.
Recently my son expressed his gratitude to me for always filling the space under the Christmas tree as best I knew how, even those lean years where we struggled, when he was too young to realize how much of a financial burden the Happy Holidays can place on a parent with limited means. That meant a lot to me, especially since I never got to say that to my mom, not directly.
Instead, I make it up in the work, where Mother/Daughter issues can rear their ugly heads sometimes, like COMIC SQUAD, or BACK FOR SECONDS.
I'll probably never stop working through all those complicated feelings, but that is what art is for. We get to make beauty from pain, and something important from something seemingly insignificant. It's not a bad way to make a living, and I'm very lucky to do it - even if it means I still struggle to put Christmas presents under the tree.
Fortunately for me, the important parts of the holiday will never be found there.
FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG
Definitely one of the top five Christmas songs of all time comes from one of my top two bands of all time. Don Henley melts my heart with this one.
JEFF N' GINGER'S HOLIDAY WHOOVIE
Since we're kinda sorta celebrating the 1980s... how about some Bloom County?
TODAY'S #BAKEITFORWARD CHRISTMAS RECIPE
Okay, I haven't been able to bake, but I do have a few more recipes to make before Christmas. Here's what's on the agenda... if I can fit in in between all the last little holiday errands I have yet to run today. Yes, I'm going grocery shopping two days before Christmas. I can only pray they have spiked eggnog ready the minute I walk in the door. O_o
I'll Instagram whatever we choose to make later on tonight. If, that is, I'm not completely drunk on spiked eggnog from having to deal with holiday shopping.
It's entirely possible. I'm just saying.
TENTH DAY FREEBIE
Because I like to dig deep in emotional issues, particularly where family is concerned, many of my romance titles have deeper meaning than just BOY meets GIRL. In ENTICED, it was about family. A traumatized teacher takes a job in California, to tutor the son of a very powerful man. As the product of a particularly nasty divorce, Jonathan Fullerton is a problem child by design. He figures as long as they're mad at him, his parents are not mad at each other. It takes meeting this no-nonsense teacher, Rachel, to pull him back from the brink.
This isn't easy to do. Drew, Jonathan's father, is a domineering alpha who will do whatever he needs to do to get his way. Alex, Jonathan's uncle and Drew's estranged brother, will do whatever he can do to stop him. Rachel is thrown into the fire between these two warring brothers, with one vulnerable boy caught in the crossfire.
A Christmas excerpt:
*****
“Ho, ho, ho!” Alex greeted jovially. We turned to see him in full costume as Santa Claus, complete with a full bag slung over his shoulder. “Merry Christmas, y’all,” he added as he glanced at me.
“What are you doing?” Drew hissed.
“Spreading joy and cheer,” Alex answered with a wide smile. Nothing made him happier than putting his brother off his game. “Tis the season and all that.”
“You look ridiculous,” Drew muttered. “Why must you take every family function and make a mockery of it?”
“How can you expect anything else when you insist on parading around our mockery of a family?” Alex challenged. “Unless, of course, your miracle worker has fixed that, too.”
Drew put his arm around me to pull me close. “I don’t think that is any of your business, Alex.”
“Of course not,” Alex sneered. “I’m just a Fullerton, after all.”
“Alex, please,” I said under my breath. “Don’t make a scene.”
He laughed. “I’m a big fat guy in red velvet. Santa doesn’t exactly play it small, sweets.” He put the bag on the ground. “But I come bearing gifts.” He withdrew a stocking for Drew, which happened to be full of charcoal. “Bad luck again, old man,” he said with a shrug. “Guess you’ll have to get all your goodies from your good pal, De Havilland. He owes you after your generous donations to his campaign and Entrepreneurs for American Liberty, don’t you think?”
“That is none of your concern,” Drew hissed through clenched teeth.
“Of course not,” Alex repeated. He dug around in the bag and brought out a gift-wrapped box. “And for the good teacher,” he said as he handed me the gift. His eyes were hard on me as I opened the flat box and withdrew the one-way ticket back to Texas. “It’s the gift that keeps on giving. You get your freedom, and Elise gets her son back. It’s a win-win.”
Drew was livid as he tore the ticket in half. “I want you out of my house, Alex.”
Alex laughed as he hoisted the bag back over his shoulder. “No can do, brah,” he said. “You can’t kick Santa out of your house on Christmas. It’s the one time the trespasser is more welcome than the thief,” he added as he glared at me. He spun on his heel and went into the ballroom, hollering, “ho-ho-ho” like he was a part of the venue entertainment.
Drew stalked to his study and slammed the door shut. I honestly didn’t know which brother to chase after. I decided to curtail as much damage as possible by tracking down Alex, who was bestowing gifts to his favorite nephew near one of the majestic trees in the ballroom. Jonathan had no clue how much of a problem his uncle’s presence caused for his dad. All he knew was that all the people he loved were in the same place. I let them interact for a few minutes before I gently interrupted and pulled Alex out of the ballroom.
Since the common areas downstairs were open as a holiday showcase, I had to pull him into my office so that we could speak privately. “You’ve made your point,” I said after I closed the door. “Can’t that be enough for once?”
Alex laughed. “You are something else. Not only are you Jonathan’s governess, but you’re a party planner, hostess and now… bouncer. You take multi-tasking to the next level, princess.”
“Look, I know you don’t like me…,” I started, but he was quick to interrupt.
“Who says I don’t like you?”
“You do. Every chance you get.”
He walked to where I stood at the door. “If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t care what happened to you,” he pointed out as his eyes swept across my face. “You may not see it now, but I am trying to save you.”
“From what?” I challenged.
His eyes slid down to my mouth. “From us.”
I backed up a step, but he pulled me back. “Elise… Nina… my mother… Fullerton men always destroy the women that they love. You think you can save us, but you can’t. You’re just prolonging the inevitable. Especially where Jonathan is concerned. You want to give us a gift? Leave. Let this house of ruin fall to decay like it should have done years ago.”
“I know you’re bitter,” I said softly, and he chuckled in response as he pulled away. “I don’t need the dirty details. I know it’s bad… poisonous… between the two of you. But you are still a family. You just need one person to give a damn. To fight.”
“And you think you’re that person, is that it?”
“I think you’re that person,” I told him as I squared my chin. “You’ve got a good heart, Alex. I’ve seen it. With Max, with Jonathan, with complete strangers at the mission. And I know you got that from your mom.” He looked away. “She did everything she could to save her boys by binding you both together. All this fighting and bitterness, it can’t be what she wanted for the both of you. Nothing is worth the hatred. Not the money, not the women, not the kids. It just takes one of you to decide to be the bigger man. You want to prove to me how sincere you are? Let it be you.”
He turned to stare at me for a long moment. Clearly he was dissecting what I had said, looking for something, anything, to use against me. I no longer cared what he thought about me. It was time to end the bitter feud between these two brothers once and for all.
I turned to leave, but his words stopped me.
“Don’t you have a gift for good ol’ Saint Nick?” he asked softly.
I turned back to face him. “What did you have in mind?”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sprig of mistletoe as he approached. He stopped a breath apart and held it above his head. His eyes dared me to defy his request. Maybe it was a test. I had come to expect that from him. Instead I stepped closer, braced myself on his arm and stood on my tiptoes to plant a soft, lingering kiss on his stubbly cheek. “Merry Christmas, Alex,” I said as I pulled away.
His eyes engulfed me. “Merry Christmas, Rachel,” he murmured. He hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and slipped through the door. I followed him down the hall, but instead of going into the ballroom, he walked right out the front door.
*****
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It was one of two notable gifts, the other was my very own vinyl record.
This was my launchpad into storytelling in two very significant ways. First, it was the precursor to my radio years. Until 1979, I was using my sister's cast-off record player to play her old cast-off records.
For the first time I had something that belonged specifically to me. Granted it was Debby Boone, which I would later abandon for ABBA...
...but it should be clear by now that my life has been filled with interesting detours like that.
I spent the next few months pretending that my Superstar Barbie was performing her songs for sold-out crowds. I took over the big cabinet stereo in the living room, using those funky old 70s lamps as a spotlight, singing every note along with her, vicariously sharing the fame and the glory.
But she was a lonely superstar. This world, unlike my Fisher Price Little People universe, was unpopulated. In November of 1978, I got Ballerina Barbie...
And by Christmas a month later, when I was given yet another Barbie, some Barbie furniture and a radio, I was a girl ready to explore the possibilities.
Not because I wanted to tell stories necessarily. This was simply wonderful, glorious playtime. As a somewhat only child (several half-siblings, all of whom were adults by the time I was seven,) I learned early on to entertain myself. I read, of course, and I overdosed on cheesy TV. I was known to spend a Saturday or two pretending to be Jimmy's unscripted sister as he traipsed happily through Living Island....
... or slide onto my sofa just like I was hopping into the General Lee, as a yet-to-be-introduced Hazzard cousin.
I spun like Wonder Woman and ended each and every episode of The Incredible Hulk walking off into the distance, alone and forlorn.
All these stories excited me so much I wanted to take it a step further than what I was given. I loved the wonder of "What if." And I was known to explore this no matter what ended up in my hands. (Up to and including markers, but we'll talk about that later.)
Unlike my Little People collection, my Barbies were predominantly female until about 1980, when I got my first Ken.
I guess my mom thought it was inappropriate for me to play with a man doll. She probably feared girls that played with boy dolls ended up to be girls who wanted to play with men. And she might have been onto something, because I remember with great detail the very first day I had my Ken doll, when he and my Superstar Barbie shared their very first kiss.
My Barbie World really began around 1981. After my dad's death, we ended up moving into a house with a divorcee and her two kids. One of which, the boy, left behind his 12-inch Superman "action figure" (read: doll) He was a lot more agile, given his legs, joints, hands and feet all moved. By the time I took possession of the discarded toy, he was already missing a hand. It made no difference to me, he was yet another male in the plastic population, which had been pretty scarce up till that point.
That, along with my newest acquisition...
...gave my growing Barbie Universe another couple with tons of stories to tell.
Again, thanks to the heavy influence of General Hospital to my burgeoning creative mind, the stories were quite scandalous. There were affairs and indiscretions galore. I've been an #AngstaGangsta since I was nine. I'll never forget the summer in '81 where my character, photographer Kevin Sherman (Malibu Ken playing a double role), abducted Jenny Gold (Golden Dreams Barbie) and held her captive on an island while she was pregnant with her husband Bobby's child. (One-handed Superman.)
And I had the patience of a saint. The early, drawn-out storytelling of classic soap operas trained me well in drawing out the angst. (This might explain a few things for those who read my books.) Superstar Barbie and Malibu Ken may have locked lips upon their first meeting, but every story after that took its time.
If any of my female characters became pregnant, I took nine months to tell that story. I would use Scotch tape and tissue paper to widen their middles in increments as we all waited for the blessed event.
By the mid-80s, I was living out my fantasies through my dolls. I had a Ginger doll, played by the darker haired, Barbie bestie PJ...
...who married her very own Steve Perry, played by the raven-haired Western Ken.
They got married in November of 1985. It was very romantic. You totally should have been there.
They had an uptown apartment, which was basically the bathroom linen closet. My mom was a saint to indulge all my silliness. But then again, she was a single parent who worked 60-70 hour weeks just to keep me in clothes, food and Barbie paraphernalia, which can be a very expensive hobby. I got the RV...
... but I never got the Barbie Dream House I wanted. Instead, I had to get creative. My pink shelves made for a fine mansion for my rich and fabulous characters.
I would sit beside those shelves forever, lost in my make-believe world, creating stories out of thin air while I watched such 80s classics like Three's Company, Facts of Life, Solid Gold and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. And ... of course... listening to my trusty FM radio.
(And yes, that is one of the songs that sparks these kinds of memories.)
In fact, one of the ways my bestie and I first bonded was over our shared Barbie toys. He had the plane, which made him just about the coolest person on the planet to me at the time.
We spent the better part of 1980 carting our cargo the three blocks in between our two houses, using everything we could get our hands on to tell exciting new stories. He had Sport n' Shave Ken, which gave me another (long-haired) option for my lonely gals.
My Marie Osmond doll took the brunt of our deliciously demented creativity, plunging to her death on a regular basis from the top of wall that divided my living room and dining room.
He always "got" me. My bestie played right. Steven suggested if we ever did it again, we could turn the Barbies into giant aliens attacking my Little People village.
None of my characters were magical or had any kind of super powers or abilities. When I used Little People figures, it was to make them into children for the Barbies. I wanted it hyper-real, just like my stories now. They were couples and families and singles, struggling to find their way in this world, with love and family and purpose. That was way more fun to me than using my one-handed Superman to fight crime.
And nothing was spared to create this new world for myself. If I couldn't afford the Mattel accessories, I'd simply make my own. Pillows were beds, and my old 1970s Easy Bake Oven equipped my gourmet kitchen.
No closet or cubbyhole was safe. This fantastic world was as infinite as my imagination. Best of all, no matter how crappy my "real life" world was, or how disappointed I was in boys that were not made of plastic (except maybe for their cold, black hearts,) I could go back to this world and create whatever reality I wanted.
Though the most active years of this particular pass time lasted from 1981-1985, the Barbie years lingered until roughly 1986/1987. As I got older and my life took on scandalous elements of its own, I would play with these dolls less and less. (Turns out I *did* want to play with real men more than plastic ones.) But it was always my soft place to fall when Real Life became too intense. That's what art is to me. It's the ability to take the bad things in life and make it interesting and bearable. It also opened my perspective by living through all sorts of characters. I lived through all characters, good and bad, so it gave me the opportunity to understand why people do what they do, especially when they fuck up.
There is no ground more fertile than that.
This is why I have no problem plumbing the depths of darker, grittier material. And that is why I'll tell anyone who needs a warning to read a book to steer clear of mine. I don't know where these characters are going to take me, and I like it that way.
These characters, no matter what form they come in, come first to teach me something. All I can do is honor their stories, humbled that they chose me as their vessel to tell them.
In the case of the FULLERTON FAMILY SAGA, it was a responsibility that I took very seriously. This tragic family drama is both my most beloved, and my most hated, trilogy. For those who have read it, you already know the story. Rachel Dennehy and Drew and Alex Fullerton were cathartic characters I got to maneuver when I was going through one of the toughest periods of my life. I had just lost my newborn son and we discovered my husband at the time was bipolar. This angsty tale is full of heartache I wasn't able to fully articulate in any other way back then, and really didn't figure it out until after I rewrote the story last year. Needless to say it broke the heart of more than one reader, including me.
"If I could hunt down Ms. Ginger Voight I would hug her, beat her with my pitchfork, then cry on her shoulder. I can't remember the last time a book has affected me like this, so I guess no matter how I feel about how it all went down at the end, there is no denying Ginger Voight is an amazing author for bringing such strong emotions out of me through her pen alone." - Bookworm Betties Reviewer Jenn Green, who gave Enraptured, the final book in the trilogy, "5- Heartsick, Broken and Pi$$ed off -Stars"
If you're brave enough to wade into these waters, pick up your free copy of ENTICED, book 1 of the trilogy, at Amazon, B&N, iTunes, Kobo or Smashwords.