Because I am the All Knowing and All Powerful OGWO (Oh Great Wise One) I have decided to give my own lil wish list what I hope our Top 11 pull off on tonight's Mecca of Motown.
Obviously they have a lot to live up to after last week's lackluster suck-fest... so hopefully these predictions will prove a titillating precursor of what's to come rather than a sad lamentation of what could have been.
Poor Scotty has the longest row to hoe given he is so far away from Motown with his ever deepening so-Southern-it-hurts twang. He's fortunate enough to have the fan base he can go first without it really throwing him into jeopardy, plus it'll give him much less time to stress. If it doesn't work... we'll have forgotten about it by night's end.
In his case I'll break my "No Ballad" rule for the week just because I think we should avoid any kind of temptation to dance. So speaking of Temptations...
I've been waiting for Stefano to dig out his inner sex symbol but he's so far been quite resistant to my telepathic words of wisdom. This week?
(If he sings this he should get the Pimp spot... I'm just sayin...)
Haley has the growling, sex kitten thing going so I think she should take on...
Another from the "For God's sake Don't Dance" column... put Paul on a stool and let him pour out his heart with a mellow, acoustic version of...
My girl Naima should be in her element with good ol fashioned R&B. I'm happy with most anything she could sing, and she can spice up a traditional male vocal with her own interpretation. Can you see her getting psychedelic funky with...
Lauren loves to have fun but might be tempted to do a ballad, especially since Thia will probably (and better) rev things up this week and avoid the diva crap she's been indulging in lately. Given what Linda Rondstadt did with this, I think it could work out if Lauren can dump the smiley, cutsy pageant stuff.
Speaking of Thia I think she should once again crack a MJ songbook with some youthful and fun Jackson 5. Dance! Have fun!
Another one not allowed to sing another indulgent ballad is Pia. She's got two options:
Or she can go disco with this for the vocal (which is my own personal preference):
(I swear to God if she sings Endless Love that high pitched scream of aggravation that will shatter your windows will be from me. I apologize in advance.)
Speaking of personal preferences there's only ONE song for Casey, and he should play his own bass. Anything else and I'll just be wondering "what if?"
Jacob should stay true to his gospel roots with something more traditional with something like the Four Tops:
And I think it's time for James to close the show with a Stevie Wonder rock/crossover tune like:
Songs that should definitely be avoided are songs that other previous Idols got a lot of buzz for, including:
And...
And I'm not even CLOSE to kidding about Endless Love. If anyone chooses it I will have to be strained from going through the TV and ripping SOMEONE'S hair out by the root.
In fact, aside from the ballads and exceptions I've made above, I'm going to deduct 10 points for every slow song we have to endure tonight. Unless they are ballads I like... such as:
Another acceptable tune:
Otherwise... It's MOTOWN people. Let's put the FUN in FUNKY!
(pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease)
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