Music as a Muse, Part Two

Here's a little known piece of trivia:

I wrote my first full-length novel in 1989, when I was homeless and living out of my car in Los Angeles. I was only 19 at the time, and I headed west with my then-boyfriend, eventual husband, Dan, because it had been a dream of mine to move west since I was a fairly young teen. Though I had moved to be closer to a certain member of my family, she decided she didn't want to "encourage me" to sponge off of her by letting me bunk at her place until we got on our feet. It was an unexpected turn of events where I learned a hard lesson about the limits of family at a very young age. Inevitably my struggle made its way into a story hatched in my brain one day while listening to Guns N' Roses on my car radio.



I channeled a lot of the fear, uncertainty, abandonment, hopelessness and desperation into that angry anthem, in a mainstream fictional tale about a runaway who happens upon a dangerous crime lord on the mean streets of Hollywood just as he preys upon the most vulnerable among us. In her escape, she happens to cross paths with a biker named MJ Bennett, who must save her and keep her safe, though MJ has a hard and fast rule about getting close to anyone.

Over the years that followed, several songs made it onto this particular soundtrack (or playlist) to bring my story to life, heavily influenced by my love for classic rock.

















I wrote most of the story long-hand on ever-present notebook paper. Then I used a typewriter to type it old school, so I could send it to book agents and book publishers. I was sure they would love the story and love the book as much as I did. I was about twenty-two when an agent said thanks but no thanks and sent back my carefully typed manuscript covered in marks from her ruthless red pen. It was the first time I didn't get a glowing review of my work. I wasn't a kid anymore, so I didn't get brownie points for finishing a project beyond my years. Instead I was expected to have done my research and polish my manuscript to play in the big leagues.

It wasn't ready, which meant I wasn't ready... and I certainly wasn't ready to find that out. This was the ONE thing I knew I could do, and as it turned out, I couldn't do it half as well as I thought. It took me about two or three more years before I dared to write another book, realizing with distance what a gift that agent had given me.

Because I loved my first story so much, I didn't revisit it my original story. I knew the story was better than I was. I started a screenplay - briefly - but didn't get further than five pages. I've never felt confident I had grown enough as a writer to bring this story, and these characters, to life the way they deserve.

At least... until now.

The theme for my new year, starting on my birthday, is the Year of Muchness. Like so many of us, I often forget how much muchness I have because I'm so focused on all the things I have yet to accomplish. In the last many years I've done several themed years to push me outside my comfort zone. There was the year of courage, the year of boldness, the year of being unstoppable and the year of being epic.

The next step is inevitable. I've been building the skills I need to own my muchness. And the only way to do that is to do those things I think I cannot do.



By the end of 2014, I plan to bring you a brand new trilogy: BIKER WILD, BIKER LOST, BIKER STRONG. These stories will take you deep into the concrete jungle where the stakes are much higher than a happily ever after. Life, death, murder and revenge await... with a hero you might never expect.