The Walking Dead Season 5 Finale, "Conquer," Recap

**This review is based off of the televised episodes (not the comic book storyline) of The Walking Dead, covering events that have already aired. May contain spoilers for those who are not caught up.**

Whew.

All right, y'all. We made it. And so did our favorite WD peeps, which was a huge, but welcome, surprise after all they put us through in Season Five. That made us all (well, me) especially anxious heading into the finale, which producers and cast members warned would be a doozy. That amped up the tension for some already powerful, tense scenes where we got *really* close to losing Glenn, Rick and our beloved Daryl. (I can't even...)

The 90-minute episode started with a tense and brilliant re-introduction of fan-favorite Morgan, who had been trailing our intrepid survivors all season. We didn't know what to expect from Morgan, given his precarious emotional state the last time Rick, Michonne and Carl encountered him in Season Three's "Clear." Lennie James, the actor who portrays Morgan, has a compelling intensity anyway and he led this first scene brilliantly.

We don't know what to expect when he encounters the first live person we've found with a "W" on his head, who gives some insight on the Wolves mystery. He confirms my earlier theory about a group of humans who create zombies to do their dirty work, which - thankfully - was one of the only things I was right about. The "W" traveler tells Morgan that he plans to take everything he has and all that he is, and Morgan tells him that *probably* ain't gonna happen... before promptly beating this guy's ass, along with his buddy, Yoda-style with a handy wooden staff.

On the Talking Dead, Chris Hardwick said that apparently Morgan had been off training at the Jedi Academy, which sounds about right. I don't know where he learned all his crazy moves but it set the tone immediately for this episode, and for Season Six, really, that we have another kickass character for the show. After losing Tyreese especially, this was welcome news. The Walking Dead giveth just like it taketh away.

Since we already have a Samurai, Morgan appears to be eying the role of a Shaolin monk. He doesn't actually kill these two marauders, instead giving them sanctuary inside an abandoned car where they can recover and go on their merry way long after Morgan is long gone. This merciful decision, and Morgan's idea that all life is precious, will come back to bite us all in the ass later, but hey. Season Six, right?

:/

Rick was sleeping off his latest Shane-esque episode under the watchful eye of Michonne, who had layeth the smack DOWN on Rick in the final moments of the last episode. This once again demonstrates she is really the only member of their group who could show that same level of leadership and strength as Rick's equal. She's doing whatever she can do to keep the peace, trying to keep it together, so they can all stay in this safe place that they have found with folks who don't quite grasp the gravity of the situation. If that sounds familiar, it's because it is. Michonne is now channeling Season Two's Rick from the farm, when he had to corral Shane right as he was going off the rails.

Also stepping into her own was Carol, who immediately assesses the situation, breaking it down for Glenn, Abraham, Michonne and Rick. She knows that Alexandria is full of innocent folks who just want to protect, with everything they've got, their happy ending. She knows how to use that to her advantage. Rick tells them what they have to do to "conquer" Alexandria, which perplexes both Glenn and Michonne - neither of whom want to resort to threats or violence to make their point, or secure their position in this new town. Carol has no such reservations. She's ready to do whatever needs to be done to ensure their safety in this new town, and the safety of everyone in it - both groups included.

Season Five will probably go down, for me, as the Season of Carol. This is where we see how far this character has come from the beginning. I feared for her all the way through this episode, which I expected to end much, much bloodier than it actually did. She's ready for war, and really... so are we. So when she shows up at Pete's door, with a friendly little casserole, and a big-ass knife, we see exactly how she's changed from the mousy little thing Ed the Asshole (EdHole) used to bully. In fact, Carol, though smaller and less obviously deranged than Pete, is wayyyy more threatening and dangerous when she delivers some not-so-friendly advice in a bone-chilling even tone. It promptly puts him in his place when she tells him she can kill him and there's nothing anyone will do about it, and he knows it. You know you've bitten off more than you can chew when Scary Poppins is laying down the law. "I want my dish back clean when you're done."

Maggie campaigns actively with Deanna to keep Rick as part of the group. Her husband, Reg, tries to assure Maggie that the only way they can survive is together. He wants to bridge the gap, despite the worrisome behavior exhibited by the members of our group... like say - SASHA, and her quiet, alone-time lying on top of a pile of walkers she's been collecting in a ditch. Girl's got some issues, but understandably so. She's torn between the desire to make it all stop, to make it all go away, and the innate desire to keep surviving at all costs.

We knew from the teasers that Daryl would encounter some trouble outside the walls, where he travels with Aaron to find new recruits for their idyllic little town. He gives some insight on the last people to be exiled from Alexandria, which remains the biggest threat for Rick at this point, again a throwback to Season Two and the decision Rick was forced to make to either exile, or execute, Randall.

Daryl and Aaron observe from afar a traveler in a red poncho, whom Daryl wants to track because he demonstrates survival skills. This doesn't really do much for Red Poncho Guy later in the episode, however, something I guess we all should have seen coming due to the color he wore, a nod, whether intentional or not, to Star Trek.

(I mean, really. Why on earth would he wear something so visible? One would think that, traveling alone in a world where you are hunted by BOTH walkers and humans, you wouldn't necessarily want to draw any attention to yourself.)

I kinda wish Nicholas was wearing something red, to be quite honest with you. I want this prick (Prickolas?) dead in THE worst way. He scales the wall and Glenn goes after him - without being armed - which was absolutely no bueno. Remember, we were promised that some sad times were a'comin, and with Daryl already out fifty miles away from safety, we really didn't need another one of our favorites in such peril, which happens later when Prickolas decides to SHOOT GLENN out of the clear blue sky.

STABBITY. Where's a grenade when you need one?

Quite fortuitously, Daryl and Aaron happen upon an abandoned food supply company with a bunch of what appear to be loaded trucks. This goldmine of a find promises enough food to feed their growing community. If it seems too good to be true, it totally is. We already knew that the Wolves were setting traps, and this one was a DOOZY, y'all. I have never been more scared for Daryl in. my. life. When Daryl springs the trap, which - btw- seems REALLY unDaryl-like, it unleashes dozens upon dozens of walkers that force our adorable little rats Daryl and Aaron into a handy abandoned car in the parking lot. Not helping things much is the discovery of a note that let them know, in no uncertain terms, they were in a trap and bad people were coming.

SUPER.

This nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat sequence was classic Walking Dead. I know all of us were preparing our riot gear when it appeared that Daryl had no hope, which they sold *convincingly.* My sphincter has yet to unclench.

Back in Alexandria, Rick himself is "sprung" from solitary confinement, returning home to Carl, who insists that Rick needs to do whatever he can to convince the Alexandrites to keep him around. "They need us. They'll die without us." It gives us some insight into how Carl is maturing in this new, disturbing world. Thanks to his "parents," i.e., Rick and Michonne, who has stepped in as a pseudo Mom in Lori's absence, (and doing it better, if ya ask me,) we see the best of both of these characters in Carl. It kind of makes me resent Jessie's presence, frankly. Yes, Rick has the hots for her. Yeah, she's pretty and has that whole wholesome Mom/damsel in distress thing going on. But I am soundly Team Richonne and have been since Season Three. There is more unexplored chemistry between Rick and Michonne than I've seen in Jessie and Rick, demonstrated later in that epi when Michonne tells him in no uncertain terms that she's got his back, and will go with him, regardless.

That's love, y'all.

Michonne is no Andrea. She's not going to swap the family she's chosen for a warm bed. She couldn't. And Rick knows that. That's why he comes clean to Michonne, because he knows he has to. He can and does trust her, letting her know that she was the one who could talk him down from the ledge and change his mind. Their bond runs deep.

Jessie who?

Daryl and Aaron share a bonding moment of their own in the car where they're trapped. Daryl admits that he feels more like himself anywhere but Alexandria, even in that cramped little car where peril looms inches away from his handsome face. (Yes, I love him. Get over it.) Aaron admits that Daryl was the reason he chose to bring his group back to Alexandria. (He loves him too. So there. :P ) When Daryl decides he needs to make a run for it, despite the fact that the car is covered with snarling, hungry walkers, Aaron tells him that they do it together or not at all. As we brace for the two turning into zombie chow, Morgan shows up to save the day. I've never been happier to see ANYONE in that whole damn show, especially when his quick thinking and magical staff gets our guys to safety on the other side of the fence. Aaron immediately offers that they all go back to Alexandria, but Morgan makes it clear he's on his own mission. He's tracking Rick Grimes, for whatever reason, and he innocently offers the map to figure out where he's going. From the look on Daryl's face, we know that's probably back to Alexandria. (Yay!)

Oh, Father Gabriel. I've never wanted a man of the cloth to bite it so freaking bad. You committed what felt like an unforgivable crime, betraying our group to Deanna just like Judas. When you went out, alone, unarmed, to invite death - I was truly hoping you'd find it. Instead, like Sasha, the fight to survive kicked in just in the nick of time, denying us all the very satisfying idea of watching you be torn to shreds just like your congregation once once.

But no. You returned to Alexandria in one piece and - oddly - without one speck of blood on your pristine white shirt. It's much cleaner than your hands, which are stained with the blood of everyone who crosses your path. That you left the gate ajar, with no thought to anyone's safety, was classic Father Gabriel. If we didn't have you to fuck things up, just where would we all be?

Oh right, SAFE in a zombie-less, walled community. Thanks for nothing, Gabe. #stillnotoverit

Showing much more forgiveness than I can apparently muster this episode were Abraham and Eugene, who finally got to chat about their painfully strained relationship over Tara's sickbed. Abraham actually musters an apology of all things. It was gruff but sincere, showing his growth from the suicidal soldier without a war he was when Eugene first happened upon him. It was a nice little moment before everything started falling to shit.

Again, classic Walking Dead.

Prickolas shows some growth out beyond the walls, abandoning his gun for a knife to handle a walker. So he can be trained. Still don't care. He gets promptly tackled by Glenn (YAY) and they get a few good licks in before Prickolas once again leaves someone for dead when a small horde shows up. Again he puts our Glenn in peril, and AGAIN I'm ready to go through the TV and slit the douche bag's neck my own damned self. I felt relatively sure going into tonight's episode that our Glenn was safe and sure to survive. He'd been on the Talking Dead in recent weeks, which I thought for sure was a dead-giveaway that he'd be in the clear. A fan favorite like Glenn would get a proper send-off, I was sure. And there's still that whole ugly business with Negan coming, where Glenn played a big part of his introduction in the comic book. Yet despite that, I truly feared for his safety this episode, which made it even more stressful to watch. I know it's going to hurt to lose Glenn one day and I ain't ready. There. I said it.

Rick soon discovers the open gate, realizing at once that a walker, or several, have infiltrated the town. He skips the community forum that night track down these walkers before they get to anyone, particularly the ill-prepared Alexandrites he's been charged now, by his son (and probably his own conscience,) to protect. They are clueless to this as they gather to argue his fate in their fine hamlet. It's up to Maggie, Carol and Michonne - and even Abraham in his unique poetic way - to make inroads for the absent Rick. "Who he is is who you're gonna be, if you're lucky." Little do they all know it means learning how to shove a gun right through the brain of a walker in one of the nastier Finger Shields moment of the episode. (Ick.)

Meanwhile Sasha, our sharpshooter, has taken a mental health moment to find sanctuary in the makeshift church, turning to Father Gabriel (ick) for emotional and spiritual guidance. Instead he harshly condemns her behavior, telling her that she doesn't deserve the safety she now enjoys within the walls. He stokes her emotional instability by invoking images of Bob and Tyreese. This doesn't go well for the near-suicidal priest, who finds himself at the hands of a woman equally at the end of her rope.

I may or may not have been yelling, "Do what you gotta DO, girl!" at the TV. But I'm not bitter. :/

Maggie channels Hershel a LOT in this episode, using reason to reach the fearful Alexandrites. When Deanna shares with her community that Father Gabriel had come to her, to warn her about the group, it becomes clear that Maggie did not and would not act on this information, though she was privy to it the minute it happened. This comes into play when she happens upon Sasha holding a gun on Father Gabriel. When Father Gabriel finally owns his most heinous act, leaving his whole congregation to be torn to bits just outside the church walls that kept him safe, it is Maggie who reaches out a hand to him, literally, to pull him up from his lowest point, literally. She is the spiritual center for these two lost people, holding them together in a way that would have made Hershel proud. Her act of mercy mirrors her husband's as he has Prickolas at gun-point, with the sniveling little weasel begging for his life. (WHAT ABOUT NOAH, YOU ASSHOLE? HIS SCREAMS STILL RING IN MY EARS.) I may or may not have been yelling, "Do what you gotta DO, baby!" to the TV. As mad as Glenn was, as well as Steven Yeun NAILED that performance, he didn't shoot the fucker point blank like he deserved. Instead he leads him back to safety arm in arm, typical Glenn. I fear that Glenn's act of mercy, not unlike Morgan's, will come back to haunt them all in Season Six. I trust Prickolas about as far as I can throw him at this point. But who knows what kind of justice he will face when he gets back to Alexandria?

Things are changing there by the second after Rick hand-delivers a walker to this frightened community meeting, taking a cue from Carl to "make them listen," to what he has to say. Reckoning back to his Ricktatorship speech of Season Two's finale, his "How many of you do I have to kill to save your lives?" speech makes it crystal clear that they need him, and he'll do what he needs to do to keep them safe whether they like it or not.

Enter Pete, wielding Michonne's Katana. :/ In a scene taken almost straight from the comics, Pete slits poor Reg's throat and he dies in his wife's arms. Deanna, overcome with her grief from her back-to-back losses, gives the green light to Rick to do the dirty deed she could never do. Leave it to Rick to finally get ONE gratifying death of the finale. He doesn't waste a second to waste Pete right in front of everyone, including Jessie. And of course this is where Aaron and Daryl happen upon the gruesome scene. They have returned with "All life is precious" Morgan, who is STUNNED to see how far Rick has come since the last time they met. It is truly an "Oh Shit" moment worthy of a season finale.

Given the Wolves are now virtually at their back door, fifty miles away but armed of the knowledge of their community and what all they possess, this deftly laid drama promises to make Season Six interesting to say the least.

I, for one, was glad to see Michonne put the Katana back on her back where it belongs. We know she'll need it.

Though the episode was expanded, I did not think it dragged for one minute. It had enough suspense, and I was terrified enough at what might happen, that I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. When it ended I took several deep breaths, glad that all of Rick's group, particularly the five (or six, really) that we started with in Season One, are still breathing. Even so, I'm kinda glad we get a break till they start the craziness again in October. Whether these "wolves" are two loners who just figured out a way to survive with their zombie army, or are a part of a larger, more dangerous group (Negan,) remains to be seen. There's plenty of time to speculate as we all catch our breath and put Season Five to rest at last.

I'll just say I'm excited that we have the full crew + Morgan to handle what comes.

And I guess that's it for now. See y'all again in October!

The Walking Dead recap "Try"

**This review is based off of the televised episodes (not the comic book storyline) of The Walking Dead, covering events that have already aired. May contain spoilers for those who are not caught up.**

I won't lie. Season 5 of The Walking Dead will, for me, go down as the most emotionally taxing. Honestly I was numb going into last night's episode. After everything we've been through, from the Termites, to Father Gabriel, to gaining and losing great characters like Noah, (#inmourning #ineedahug) and losing old favorites like Bob, Beth and Tyreese, I have to admit that I'm more apprehensive than normal when Sunday rolls around. Anything can happen, and things have been setting up like a powder keg every episode since they arrived at the Alexandria Safe Zone.

With only one episode to go before the 90-minute finale, we knew that a couple of issues had to come up and - honestly - several people have got to go. "Try" addresses a couple of these issues, in a very odd, disjointed WTF manner that left my whole family wondering what the hell we had just watched.

It started with an odd memorial for Aiden, Deanna's son, who bit the big one on the last episode.

(That shallow pool listened to NIN, really?)

Deanna is understandably distraught that her son didn't return from a run. But is she necessarily surprised? If I have one complaint about the Alexandria storyline, it's that it's being written as too black or white. Aiden was clearly an idiot who cared more about how his dick was swinging than doing his job. After roughly two years of this kind of "more balls than brains" leadership, he'd have killed himself long before our group showed up. So the question isn't, "Did Rick's group kill Aiden?" It's more, "Why are we so surprised it took him two years to kill himself?"

Granted the Alexandrites tend to get each other in dire situations and then bail, saving their own skin first. But I'm having a little bit of trouble suspending belief that, as ignorant as they are portrayed, they haven't all just died already.

He shot a grenade, people!

("Well, Ginger... to be fair he didn't see the grenade." Maybe... but he was unloading his weapon on a walker in full riot gear, drawing more walkers with the sound. How is it that Maggie, who was raised on a freaking farm, knew to get close and use her blade, and the dude with ROTC training kept shooting? I mean... honestly. I can't even.)

More evidence of stupidity... the pressure cooker that is the Good Surgeon Pete, who shows up creepy and drunk more often than not. When Rick takes this issue to Deanna, she admits that she knows he's got a problem but he's a surgeon, dammit. And she's willing to keep someone around who is emotionally unstable for the benefit of the group as a whole. Not sure how having a drunk, emotionally unstable surgeon is better than having no surgeon at all BUT this is the current rationale of leadership in Alexandria.

If you go back several episodes where our group was on the way to Alexandria, Aaron even tells Noah (#momentofsilence #stillinmourning) that they have a "brilliant" surgeon named Pete at the compound who could help him with his limp.

So Aaron, who prides himself on being able to tell the good people from the bad people, is clueless to how bad Pete really is AND he's extolling his brilliance as a surgeon when the dude can't even stay sober in the daylight?

Really?

That Aaron is the smartest of the Alexandrites doesn't bode well for *any* of them, frankly.

And Nicholas. I can't even get into Nicholas. If I had been Glenn, there would still be traces of traitorous fuckhead's face on the cement near the warehouse where Noah died (#momentofsilence #fuckrevolvingdoors.) That's not how Glenn rolls, though, even when he had to watch the brutal death of a treasured new friend/brother. After a bit of research, I came to realize that Glenn has no human kills. You remember those three questions, I'm sure. How many walkers have you killed? How many humans have you killed? Why? Well, Glenn has not yet been forced to deal with a human in this way. Even in "Four Walls and a Roof," he and Maggie stood back in shock while Rick, Sasha, Michonne and Abraham went feral on the Termites who dared to show their faces at Father Gabriel's church. (#judas #lookattheprettyflowers) Glenn also showed a great deal of trepidation in Season Two's "Nebraska," where Rick used deadly force on a couple of sketchy strangers they happened upon in a bar, searching for Hershel.

In fact, the only human that Glenn seemed on board to execute was Season Two's Randall. It caused a rift between him and Dale right before Dale's untimely demise. Maybe he's still carrying that guilt? Maybe he just isn't that kind of guy? Either way... his insistence to save Nicholas, while noble, I fear will come back to bite him in the ass eventually.

I always have mixed feelings when I realize that Daryl will be playing a bigger part in the episode, especially since he's spending more time outside the walls of Alexandria than inside. He and Aaron are out on a scouting mission, which - like I said, doesn't bode well that Daryl is going to have to compensate for the ineptitude of one of the Alexandrites. They don't recruit anyone else, but the mystery of the "W" walkers deepens when they find a naked woman tied to a tree. In one of this episode's only real Finger Shields moment, a couple of things become clear. One, this woman was put there on purpose, likely by someone who brutalized her first. She was likely alive when it happened, and left there for Zombie Chow (bait?) in a manner eerily similar to Carol's terrifying bedtime story for Sam weeks ago. When they raise her head, they see the "W" marked in her skin, right around the time she starts to rouse as a walker.

First thought: whoever is doing this is purposefully turning people into walkers, and branding them for some unknown reason. A sadistic fuck to be sure, and our guys are right there on his or her tail. Greaaaat. Are the "wolves" that are coming a zombie army, rather than a group of people? Are zombies being "raised" to infest/overrun decent communities and then dismembered and torn apart later after the deed is done? Consider what happened to Noah's (#momentofsilence #nicholasmustdie) community, where it was burned out and raided, leaving behind dozens of dismembered zombies as some kind of sick calling card. The Governor has already set a precedence for this back in Season 3, where he busted down the gate of the prison with a van full of walkers, to infiltrate the fortress and scramble those who lived there, leaving them vulnerable for a takeover. And if this is the purpose of The Wolves, just who the heck is the sick mind leading them?

(I don't think I'm ready for the answer to this question.)

Another problem I had with last night's episode was the continuing Shane-ification of Rick Grimes. The poor guy has been through some stuff and we can all sympathize. But it seems as though the Rick who walked through the gates at Alexandria is not the same Rick we met at the beginning of Season Five. Even in Season Four's finale, where he ripped the throat out of Claimer Joe with his teeth, he experienced that WTF moment of "Who am I? What am I becoming?"

I refuse to believe that this world has turned our favorite Officer Friendly, who always led with loyalty and honor, would immediately latch on to someone like Jessie. Yes, she does represent the feminine ideal to someone like Rick. We already know he has a thing for delusional damsels in distress. And yes, we know that he has little tolerance for those who hurt others because they get something out of it. But I'm having a bit of a problem with the idea that he's willing to kill a man to get to his wife. That's way more Shane than Rick. I know that this world has taken a lot from Rick, but I should hope his inherent character isn't one of them.

This isn't a matter of survival. Not really. Rick could beat him down (and did, hallelujah,) and do the job he's there to do as constable... keep law and order in their fledgling society. No, Rick wants him gone, out of the way, finito. Carol got right to the core of it when she told Rick, "I know why YOU want him dead."

I find it just has hard to believe that Pete is just *now* getting out of control. Sure, he finds Rick a threat. But he also tried to intimidate Carol as well, and Deanna already knew that he was hurting Jessie (which means he probably wasn't doing a whole lot to hide it.) For the Alexandrites, his skill-set is worth turning a blind eye. That's empowering for a sociopath, which it is clear he's turning out to be. So why is this just *now* coming to a head after years of idyllic Virginia compound living?

Sadly for Rick, he's showing a few psychotic tendencies of his own. "KEEP WALKING." (Shudder.) This led to the brutal beat-down at the end of the episode. True, Pete did start it. ("Ah. Stupid man.") He was relentless as he pushed Rick to the edge, maybe thinking of the two men, he was the more valuable to Deanna than the brand new constable and thus, would avoid being exiled like Rick is now likely to be.

Rick promptly loses his shit and turns a gun on the Alexandrites who try to intervene with his doling out some Shane-like Georgia justice. His rant, which is largely (sadly) on point - that they are too naive and clueless to survive on their own - was cut short when Michonne clocked him from behind, fulfilling her duties as co-constable. It is also the first "betrayal" of loyalties, where she turns on Rick in order to preserve the community they now share.

This was your real WTF moment of the episode. Michonne evolved quite a bit in this episode. Earlier in the show, we saw Michonne lying on her nice new bed with crisp, fresh linens, still fully dressed, ready to go at any given moment, showing that even in this seemingly safe environment, our Michonne is still in there somewhere. But when she and Rosita go out looking for Sasha, she fails to take her Katana with her. (Both scenes are a masterclass in "show don't tell," btw. Kernels of brilliance in an otherwise unbalanced episode.) Right before the epic #GIRLPOWER scene where Sasha, Rosita and Michonne take down a horde all on their very own, we see Michonne mentally process her timeline in flashbacks, where she goes from hooded stranger dragging around "pets" to the woman she is now: a protector... a nurturer. She's going to do what needs to be done to protect those she feels called to protect, which is what happened with Sasha.

It was that nurturer who decided to knock Rick out so he wouldn't get himself, or the rest of them, ejected from this new bastion of safety/civilization.

But it does hint at a breakdown of the group. If Deanna decides to exile Rick and Rick alone, who will stand with their venerable leader, and who will stay for the illusion of safety that can be found behind the walls in Alexandria? After their time on the road, when they were without food and water and at the brink of their own survival, who of this group will forfeit running water, electricity, walls and community to follow a virtual madman? Even Carl tried to rein his father in. If given the choice to keep Judith safe and be loyal to his father, if those are two competing ideas, which will he choose?

These are the questions we're left with as we race towards Season Five's finale which, once again, threatens the sanctuary where our survivors have found themselves.

AGAIN.

Normally I'd bitch loudly about their going back on hiatus so quickly after returning to air. (Feb. 8 - March 29... really?) I'd have plenty to say about the long wait till (likely) October before we get more new episodes.

Frankly, y'all... I could use the break. This season has been a doozy. It *terrifies* me what's to come. (And we all know what's to come. His name is Negan and, if it plays out like I fear it will, will likely be the jumping off point for this particular WD fan.) I'm mired in the muck, as it were. And as we're losing all the characters who promise hope, who promise humanity, who make us care, I'm wondering what point there is to keep watching. Eventually they're all either going to die a martyr or live a villain, and much sooner rather than later at this rate. Some we barely get to know before they're gone, speeding through characters just to build up a body count.

Beth and Bob, I get. Tyreese and Noah? Missed opportunities.

The things I love about the Walking Dead have been sadly scarce this season. The pacing has been all off for me this time around. It started when, after the half-season buildup to Terminus, the issue with the Termites was virtually solved in the opening episode. Our people have been floundering from one setting to the next ever since, and then when they get somewhere they can more leisurely explore the key draw to The Walking Dead (what happens to humanity when civilization breaks down,) everything happens all at once, like a box of fireworks that detonates prematurely. I wouldn't have minded a slower burn at Alexandria, where the people weren't so flipping stupid that the destruction of their bubble is so freaking imminent. The way it is now, it feels like we're burning through key events in the comic to get us closer to the next "money" shot, relying on constant, shocking deaths of beloved members of the group to keep the buzz going.

It just doesn't feel as deliberate and well-laid out as before. This episode, which accelerated the problems with Pete while dropping entirely the issue with Father Gabriel, felt disjointed and ill-fitting. Last week's episode, though we lost Noah (#momentofsilence #nicholaslookattheflowers,) was much more of a representation of what this series has to offer in terms of emotional payoff.

Needless to say I'm scared of next Sunday's episode, ominously titled "Conquer." I may have to turn it into a drinking game somehow just to get through the damn thing.

Given that Rick has ordered that the walls be reinforced, and Sasha was picking off a growing horde of walkers right at these questionable walls, I feel about 87% sure that a breach of said walls is coming in the finale. This theory feeds into the Walkers as Wolves theory mentioned above. IF, at that point, what Alexandrites remain might actually prefer a change in leadership, trusting Rick and his group to keep them safe from the "real" world beyond their gates, which would not only stabilize the characters but facilitate some of the storylines from the comic book.

If I had to give odds on this group's survival, I think we can expect the following deaths next week:

1. Nicholas. Whether he's killed or exiled, he's gots to go. (My theory: since he's already had experience on the outside of the walls, I think he'll be exiled and end up with another community, which he'll fuel against Alexandria thanks to a hefty grudge, which will ensure drama for next season.)
2. Father Nicholas. I actually prefer they exile this wolf in sheep's clothing (ooo - it just hit me that may be the overall theme for the season, with him precipitating the Wolf invasion to come...pretty sneaky, sis.) Frankly there's no better karma for him to face the outside world on his own after he A. turned his back on his own flock and B. tried to get our group kicked out.
3. Pete. And it should be Carol. Period.
4. Jessie, because it could likely be the thing that shocks Rick back into, well, Rick. He can't be rewarded for his Shane-like behavior by getting the merry widow all to himself. (Although I do say they'll likely have some pretty animalistic sex next Sunday, and I'm OK with that. Get Rick laid. It may relieve some stress.)
5. Sam. I actually would prefer to see Sam live and Carol return to her mom roots a little bit. They have great chemistry together and it'd be nice if she had a kid that didn't up and die on her. BUT...
6. Carol's likely on the chopping block as well. It has arguably been her season, from her triumphant return to the group at the Season Five opener. Her behavior isn't unlike Rick's at this point, and there will likely be a reckoning for that. She's stoking Rick as well, which threatens to make it even more explosive. (I think, had Daryl been there, he would have tried to reason with Rick to find another way to handle Pete, like he did when they went to rescue Beth. Ever since he freed himself from his brother, his loyalty comes second to what he thinks is right.) They could use her killing Pete as a testament of how far she's come from the timid battered wife she was with the show started, and then let her go out in a blaze of glory WD style.
7. Sasha. This one seems a *little* obvious and would be a loss for the group given her skills as a sharp-shooter, but Sasha clearly has a death wish in her new Bob-less, Tyrees-less world. Since she's had the hardest time acclimating to Alexandria, and I think with or without a wall breach, our group is going to stay in Alexandria through next season, it makes the most sense that she falter.

For the record, I hope I'm wrong about both Carol and Sasha. I'd like it if we didn't lose ANYONE from our core group in the finale. I'm just not mentally prepared. But if you think about it, Season 4 was the only season finale where nobody died, Claimer Joe and his fucktard bunch of #motherdicks notwithstanding. (Season One: Jacqui. Season Two: Jimmy and Patricia. Season Three: Andrea and Milton.) With the full canvas we have now, I am 1042% certain that next week's Talking Dead "In Memoriam" section is going to be a mile freaking long. If it's the top three people mentioned above, I'm OK with it.

So that's it. One more episode to go and then we can rest. Next week I'm bringing cupcakes, teddy bears and glitter... just in case.