American Idol Top 13 Perform Whitney and Stevie

You'll have to forgive me that I have an involuntary gag reflex whenever I face any Whitney or Stevie theme night because these two artists are so iconic Idol contestants have pretty much run through their discography ad nauseam. No disrespect to the most recently departed Whitney Houston by any stretch - in fact it is out of the knowledge she IS so iconic that trying to duplicate her enormous talent usually ends up poorly for the contestant who dares to take her on.

On this 400th episode of AI Ryan tells us that the girls will be performing in competition with the boys. At the end of the results show tomorrow both the guy with the lowest votes and the girl with the lowest votes will go before the judges, who will ultimately decide their fate.

The girls were up to the challenge, sort of. Two knocked it completely out of the park, whereas two fell completely out of place. For the boys they were mostly consistent but a little ho hum. I knew that this Whitney/Stevie mash-up would be a regularly snooze-fest for the Fast Forward King (my dear hubby) but when all was said and done he watched two performances straight through and was mad that one of the three up-tempo songs was mangled beyond all recognition.

Jimmy Iovine brought Mary J. Blige in to help coach the Idols this week and for the most part they were helpful. It hurt me to see Jimmy throw poor Elise under the bus but what can you do? The producers have their favorites too.

(As you could tell by the placement of all the singers tonight. There's a reason Phillip Phillips is the Vegas favorite to take home the title.)

One of my favorites kicked off the show with the fun Stevie tune, "I Wish." Joshua Ledet brought a little gospel into the peppy song and gave it his all as he performed, which made his unfortunate position as first a little less forgettable. His performance reminded me of some R&B greats who had come before him and I found his groove infectious. I truly couldn't find any real fault with it. I had a good time, and that's something I wasn't even sure was possible on this particular theme night.

Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Good*
(His placement as first is the only thing that downgrades his chances from Strong.)

As I said before, I was not happy that Jimmy Iovine threw a different song choice at Elise Testone out of her comfort zone. I was, however, very glad he steered her away from that particular ballad for a peppy upbeat number, "I'm Your Baby Tonight." I love her voice but she really has to amp up the confidence to tackle these challenges. Her uncertainty caused her to lose her way in the song, which never fit her properly in the first place. I would have really loved to see her approach that song from another perspective, like jazz. The arrangement she ended up using either was out of whack or she has a misstep right out of the gate. I don't think she was able to recover after that. Couple this with her early placement in the lineup and this could spell trouble.

Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 3
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 3
Total: 17
Probability of moving on: Questionable

Jermaine Jones took on "Knock Me Off My Feet" with that big deep voice of his. While it was a sleepier number than the first too there was a swagger there I don't think had been there before. His voice however is pretty stylized so I'm not sure how polarizing he will ultimately be as a contestant. If you were already a fan of Jermaine this performance gave you another dynamic to enjoy. It depends now if voters will remember this performance by the end of the show. I found it nice but forgettable.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good

Erika Van Pelt (or EVP as she will now be called) apparently didn't learn her lesson last week. After nearly being sent home for singing a ballad (and saved by the skin of her teeth singing something with more of an edge,) she opted to take on Whitney's ballad "I Believe in You and Me."

:-|

This chick obviously has a sadistic streak. It's not enough she almost got booted on her fanny LAST week she wants to remind us all that she doesn't have the strongest ballad voice, she can just make it a little edgier when she does it. She could have chosen a song to stand out all on her own ("It's Not Right But It's Okay" for instance, which is Whitney's most badass recognizable tune.) (And she's a DJ... should should know it.) Instead she just decided to blend in with the pack. Yeah her voice was cool and all but this was yet another missed opportunity for her. I'm not sure how forgiving the voting public will be with her for doing the same unoriginal karaoke two weeks in a row.

I'm annoyed and I like her. EVP, darling, you're a rocker. Let everyone else bore my husband to tears with a ballad. STAND. OUT.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 2
Total: 18
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good*
(She earns the "good" because chances are higher she'll get a boomerang of votes to keep her out of jeopardy again this week, and honestly two other girls performed worse.)

Colton Dixon sang "Lately." This alt rocker also slowed things down, but I really couldn't presume to pick a song that would better suit him. Most of the songs he sings sound the same to me. When he performed I didn't hear shades of Stevie in the background. I suppose that's a good thing? I just haven't been wowed by Colton yet. I think this will appeal to his fan base. How substantial that is will determine his placement overall, but I can't see this particular performance sending him home.

Vocals: 4
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 4
Total: 22
Probability of moving on: Good to Strong

Shannon Magrane is another contestant who hasn't yet learned that truly talented singers have more in their back pocket than just a pat ballad. Instead of keeping it young ("I Wanna Dance With Somebody" for instance,) she TOO opted for a ballad - one way older than her tender age of 16. She couldn't sell it emotionally nor vocally. "I Have Nothing" is a huge Whitney tune and unlike EVP before her, she doesn't necessarily have the chops to carry this kind of song. This was evident in the number of notes she missed. Her vocal was really the the weakest of the night.

If the nicest judges on TV are telling you it's bad, it's bad. That they actually identified her as bad is her only hope for votes to get into the next round.

Vocals: 2
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 3
Song Choice: 1
Total: 14
Probability of moving on: Questionable

My sweet little DeAndre Brackensick. What can I say? I find just about everything about him endearing, even the way he uttered, "Lawd have mercy" when he saw video playback of how emotional last week was for him. I wasn't crazy about the wild "up-do" he had going on but it spared him from the hair flip of doom. His performance of the Reggae flavored "Master Blaster" let him let his hair down a little (figuratively speaking) and he got to be what he is: a 17 year old kid. It was youthful and fun but still gave him an opportunity to show his range a little bit. I was able to watch it three times and enjoy it as much every single time. I can't always understand what he's singing, but I sure like the sound of his voice while he's doing what he does so effortlessly. I remain unabashed in my bias, but this week he earned it.

Vocals: 5
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Strong

Skylar Laine is so country it hurts. I've always found it interesting that British performers can sing a song and we'll never hear a hint of their accent but when it comes to southern performers it hits you in the face like a cold blast of water. So it really didn't matter what Whitney song she sang tonight, it was going to come across like be-dazzling rhinestones on haute couture. I did appreciate both Jimmy and Mary "reigning" her in to deliver her version of "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" with a softer touch. It really prevented her from taking it over the top, which could have sunk her.

As our only real country contestant this year, I think odds in her favor that she'll advance.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 4
Total: 22
Probability of moving on: Strong

I still don't know what to make of Heejun Han. He can sing but his personality is a bit... quirkier than we normally see on Idol. But I guess since Reed Grimm didn't make the cut, he does fill a comedy niche. My only problem is that he sings boring songs. He opted for "All is Fair in Love." He sings like a balladeer while maintaining the backstage presence of a class clown. I'd love to see him bring a little bit more of that personality to the stage.

(Which I believe was my complaint last week as well.)

Either way, boring, forgettable performance.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good

Hollie Cavanagh sang "All the Man That I Need" - which happens to be my favorite Whitney tune of all time. It's a HUGE song, but she has a HUGE voice - so it fit. Many times when we hear Whitney songs on Idol I miss actually hearing Whitney. Hollie, tonight, performed a miracle. Not only did she give me goosebumps hitting these big notes (especially that doozy at the end) but she made me want to hear HER version again rather than the original. It's a shame it was slow, my husband Speedy McSpeederson FF'd right on by.

I think she's definitely one to watch. I can see her going all the way to top 3 (at least) if she keeps this up.

Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Strong

Jeremy Rosado won us over last week by being the kid who wears his heart on his sleeve. He brought J-Lo to tears and earned her Wild Card pick with a voice that she commented was straight from the heavens. Despite this ringing endorsement his performance of "Ribbon in the Sky" didn't do much for me. It was... pleasant. It was nice. But it didn't stand out the way I had hoped it would. I think odds are good that he'll experience that boomerang vote effect where his fans will vote this week where they didn't last week. (He may have even won a few more with his emotional journey thus far.) IF by any stretch he does wind up in the bottom two going against one of the girls I doubt he'll be sent home, especially if Jennifer has anything to say about it.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good

You knew when we heard it was Whitney week SOMEONE would sing "I Will Always Love You." This is risky because Whitney sang the hell out of this song to the point, especially now that she has passed, it's almost sacrilege to try and put a different, individual spin on it. This inevitably vaults it into karaoke territory for lesser singers. Fortunately Jessica Sanchez is not a lesser singer. She's got a big ol voice for such a little girl, and she really did deliver.

Having said that I think Hollie may have outsung her tonight, if only by a smidge. I think Jessica's rather cliche performance of this predictable song (under a spotlight much like J-Hud sang at the Grammys) did not do her any real favors to set her apart from Whitney or even J-Hud. Unless you can surpass them, not just draw neck and neck, it's best not to draw those comparisons.

I still think she's the girl to beat, although after tonight I think Hollie is right on her heels.

Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Strong

Phillip Phillips closed the show and we all know what that means. It would seem he's a producer favorite as well as a Vegas favorite, though I swear I still don't see why. I get that he takes songs and puts an individual spin on the song - but it all sounds like the same thing to me and that's not really that original at all. Every time he performs I am reminded of the likes of David Cook - and then I want to hear David Cook.

"Superstition" is my favorite Stevie Wonder song hands down. I usually like it when most people do it, as long as they do it fairly close to the Stevie Wonder version. That's how much I love it. So I wasn't crazy about this gruff rock switcharoo much like I didn't care for what he did last week. I don't think he's going home anytime too soon but I have yet to see in him what everyone else does.

Maybe next week.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 21
Probability of moving on: Strongest

(Has anyone ever gone home who performed in the pimp spot? I can't recall.)

If voting follows performance then Elise and Shannon are in the most trouble. For the guys it will just depend on where the fan allegiances lie as no one really dropped the ball vocally. Some performances were more memorable than other, but never underestimate the power of the judges and the lineup in which they sang. According to my grades Jermaine, Jeremy and Heejun tied with the lowest boys scores at 20, but poor Joshua is fighting the dreaded curse of first.

(It didn't help the judges gave him props for standing out several times, which could lull his fanbase into a false sense of security. We have seen this happen many times before.)

That means it's anybody's game for the guys.

My pick to go home: Elise.

American Idol Top 13 - Season 11

Normally I don't do a Results Show recap but I'm pretty excited about the Top 13, especially the last contestant to slide in by the skin of his teeth. In fact I didn't know how much I cared about this UNTIL it was announced and I deafened my entire family with my whoop of joy.

In fact the entire Wild Card segment just brought me to tears and invested me in the whole dang season that there's no turning back now.

The first member to make it into the Top 10 based on popular vote was Phillip Phillips.

As predicted, Chase and Jeremy suffered from their lack of exposure and Phillip moved right on through.

The results show included comments from Jimmy Iovine, who typically renders a harsher critique than the Kinder, Gentler Judges. Some things I agreed, some things I didn't. I wasn't on board with his assessment of Phillip. I don't find him all that original. I get a real David Cook vibe off of the artist Phillip is setting himself up to be.

The girls were brought up four at a time, and the first two to make it into the Top Ten were Hollie Cavanagh and Jessica Sanchez.

Jimmy commented that Brielle's pick of "(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay" was too old fashioned and he was right on... especially since he echoed what I already said in my blog yesterday. She still justified it, speaking of herself once again in the third person. I wasn't particularly heartbroken nor surprised when she didn't make it into the Top Ten.

He also stated that Jessica is the one to beat, which I also alluded to in yesterday's blog pegging her the One to Watch for Season 11. If there's a girl to win this thing, breaking a streak of male winners since Carrie Underwood, it's this girl.

By no surprise another favorite guy of mine, Joshua Ledet, joined Heejun Han over in the coveted stools for the Top Ten.

I agreed with Jimmy that Heejun is a bit of a confusing pick for the show, but not really surprised with all of the screen time that he got he made it through with the votes.

But Heejun maintains he'll keep things light with the comedy as his Idol journey continues.

The next four ladies who came up to the chopping block gave me a little bit more of what I wanted in Skylar Laine:

It also gave Shannon Magrane really good news that her inspirational ballad won the hearts of American voters.

But Jimmy also echoed my complaint from yesterday about the high school pageanty look by saying she looked more like she was dressed for the prom. I hope with the help of a stylist she can be more youthful and fun rather than this too-old-for-her-years songbird she established herself to be last night.

Jimmy also repeated my dissatisfaction with both Baylie and Chelsea, even going so far as to say Carrie Underwood karaoke wouldn't cut it. It looks like we both were right.

The Idol dream also ended for Aaron, whose performance Jimmy considered cheesy. He wasn't any more charitable to Creighton ("screechy") or Reed ("too cabaret") and apparently the audience agreed - even if Steven, J-Lo and Randy all sang their praises.

Elise Testone was joined by Erika, Jen and Haley, but only Elise won her rightful place by America's vote as the last girl chosen for the Top Ten.

Jimmy felt Jen, while the voice was good, didn't have enough soul and praised Erika's restraint despite J-Lo's advice to push herself even further. Meanwhile he underscored Randy's assessment Haley's performance was a "nightmare."

With only two spots left Ryan called down four of the remaining boys, including my DeAndre, Colton Dixon, Eben and the Gentle Giant himself, Jermaine Jones. This is where I got a little nervous. With Jermaine securing not only the pimp spot but having a really emotional journey thus far this season, it seemed likely his fans would vote him through.

Likewise for Colton, whose Idol journey is two years in the making (as is DeAndre's - but Colton's has been way more televised.)

When Jimmy sang the praises of both Jermaine and Colton I knew my little DeAndre was in trouble. And of course he was sent back to wait his fate through the Wild Card stage as he did not secure the top 10 vote. Those final two honors went to the guy who barely missed the Top 24 and the guy who didn't bother to audition.

Thus began the Wild Card round where the judges had to pick 6 out of 15 singers in order to select one Wild Card contestant each. Jen got the first opportunity to sing for her life and sing for her life she did. She selected "Oh! Darling" and did a fantastic job, although lost her breath in a few spots trying to knock it out of the park with her vocal gymnastics.

Jeremy sang second, with a Carrie Underwood tune that brought J-Lo to tears. In fact there probably wasn't a dry eye in the house when he fell apart at the end of the song himself after a performance that brought his fellow contestants to their feet.

Brielle got her second chance and laid it all on the line with a more sedate and serious performance. This gave her mom a little more face time on camera as well, but didn't really do anything for me to reconsider my earlier position (as Jeremy's emotional performance had done.)

Randy made my night by recalling DeAndre for his second chance. He sang "Georgia on My Mind" which showed way more range than the EW&F tune he sang for the live performances on Tuesday. It was another old fashioned tune that I wasn't sure showed the best of what he could do. But the girls loved it - as I was sure they would.

Seeing this baby tremble with the importance of the moment was enough to win over even more than what I was before. Though I wasn't actively conscious of it, the stakes for him to advance shot WAY up.

Erika sang next and FINALLY let it go with Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory." I was practically on my chair for her performance. THIS is what she needed to do yesterday. THIS is what sets her apart. NEVER EVER EVER EVER resort to an 80s pop ballad when you can rock that kind of powerful vocal.

N E V E R.

With that vocal she outshone every other Wild Card wannabe that went before her.

The judges gave the last spot to Reed, a drummer who definitely dances to his very own beat. I thought the audience was screaming for him beforehand and as he performed we could see why. He's definitely entertaining. That said, he's not an idol and the performance ultimately was easy to discard.

I figured at this point the judges would pick Erika, Jeremy and Jen.

Randy announced the first Wild Card pic - Erika Van Pelt.

J-Lo announced her Wild Card pick, and after the tears she shed for him it could be none other than Jeremy Rosado.

That left Steven with the third and final Wild Card pick. I didn't let out a breath until he told him that he could let his hair down and I knew that despite all odds my favorite had skated in by the hair of his chinny chin chin.

My favorite... I wanna adopt him... he made me care about Idol once more... DeAndre Brackensick.

This is shaping up to be a season with a lot of heart, and contestants that wear their hearts on their sleeves. I think both Jeremy and DeAndre won some fans tonight with their earnest gratitude for making it into the Top 13, so I hope we see that reflected in the votes next week.

And for the first time in a LONG time... I'm excited about next week.

Oh American Idol... you did it to me again. I'll even forgive you for making theme nights out of Stevie Wonder and Whitney Houston, two artists I usually pray no contestants ever sing because of the high karaoke factor.

Till next week... Geevie OUT.

American Idol Semifinalist Girls: Live Performances

After last night's love fest from the judges, Randy Jackson decided to own up to the fact that he and his fellow judges had taken it a bit easy on the guys. Maybe he realized what we hear at home isn't as exciting or as perfect as what they hear in the studio, or maybe he just realized that a little Simonesque honesty actually balances all the rah rah cheerleading this particular panel encourages.

While I'm all about positive reinforcement, these performers are vying for the top 13 places in the finals: the top five guys and girls from the popular vote, along with the judges' wild card picks. It's time to "keep it real" as it were. Playing nice now isn't doing anyone any favors. Instead the judges need to give these contestants advice to grow on.

With that in mind, I'm going to aspire to keep my reviews a little more real as well. I apologize ahead of time that the girls are going to get it a little tougher than the guys last night.

But in all fairness, there was more to criticize.

Chelsea Sorrell started off the show performing Carrie Underwood's "Cowboy Casanova."

Like I said yesterday I really advise newcomers against singing the material made famous by other idols because it can draw unflattering parallels. This is especially true when those idols have stronger voices. It's impossible to make the song your own unless you drastically change the arrangement, which is always a huge risk. Otherwise it comes across as karaoke. In this case the weaker, less experienced voice is a glaring disappointment. Though she tried, Chelsea was unable to match the fullness of the notes Carrie hits effortlessly, as such the performance can do nothing more than leave the listener unsatisfied.

While Chelsea chose wisely an upbeat tune to help offset the Curse of First, the problem is both she as a contestant and the song itself were rather forgettable. Taking a relative unknown and putting her first in a field of 12 other singers is a producer kiss of death.

Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 3
Song Choice: 3
Total: 17
Probability of moving on: Poor

Erika Van Pelt has been a favorite of mine from the early auditions.

I think she has a strong rocker voice with a presence to match. Which is why I nearly screamed in frustration that she chose "What About Love" as her song. I love Heart and I love Ann Wilson, but please... can't ANYONE sing ANYTHING other than the 80s pop crap? If you want to be electric, if you want to rock it out... choose "Crazy On You" or "Barracuda" or "Magic Man." Ann is a rock GODDESS whose prowess challenges you and demonstrates your talent (if you're lucky) no matter what song you sing. So bring the excitement. Sing something different. MAKE YOUR MARK.

It will confound me till the end of time why everyone sings the same old tired syrupy 80s schlock year after freaking year. It comes across as drunken, ill-advised karaoke that just can't touch Ann's version. The only good thing I can say about it... it wasn't "Alone," which as you diehards to the blog know earns an automatic 0 in the song choice department.

In a spot where Erika HAD to stand out, she just became one of the pack with that song. Worse yet, J-Lo was absolutely right in that she held back in the performance. If you're going to hold back, just back away from the Ann Wilson category altogether.

Very disappointing.

Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 1
Total: 18
Probability of moving on: Questionable

Another early favorite of mine was Jen Hirsh.

Her audition performance of "Georgia On My Mind" was flawless. She soared between notes like a bird in flight, so I was expecting a lot from Jen tonight.



Unfortunately her performance of Adele's "One and Only" made me want to re-watch Georgia. While still good, it wasn't quite as sweet to the ear with some bum notes particularly at the end where she seemed to lose herself a bit. Her stage presence also needs a little work, she has some habits that come across as nervous quirks that are distracting to the performance. Once again J-Lo hit the critique on the nose by pointing out she gave it her all, which I would expect nothing less. So despite the fact I personally didn't see this performance topping her Hollywood audition, I think she's a strong contender with enough audience recognition to move forward.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Good

Another recognizable face from both last season and season 11 is Brielle Von Hugel, a rather precocious teenage contestant from New York.

I don't know if the TV exposure both Brielle (who seems to refer to herself in the third person at times) and her mother have done the duo any real favors, especially since her performance tonight didn't do much to live up to the hype she enjoyed during earlier rounds. Her voice just doesn't match her confidence. She tackled the Otis Redding classic, "(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay," which underscored her weaker lower register. It's also a highly repetitive song that seemed old fashioned and rudimentary. Here's where Cranky Cowell likely would have compared this over-confident performance to a high school recital.

And he'd be right.

Vocals: 3
Style: 3
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 3
Total: 17
Probability of moving on: Questionable

Former waitress Hallie Day followed with her version of "Feeling Good."

Again, choosing a song that has been conquered by Idols Past is a tricky proposition at best. You can be absolutely competent and still leave the audience longing for that standout performance that came before you.

Whenever I hear "Feeling Good" I want to hear Adam Lambert. Case closed.

Here's what I liked about this performance. It was different. She set herself up as a nostalgic siren. She looks and sounds like she stepped out of the 1940s, which sets her apart in this field of wannabe pop stars. Sadly, however, the song she choose was a bit bigger than her voice. It was by a smidge, but a noticeable smidge. That being said, I would love to see her go forward because she's got a great vibe.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 3
Total: 21
Probability of moving on: Questionable to Fair

Eighteen-year-old Skylar Laine from Mississippi followed with her rocking country version of the Faces classic, "Stay With Me."

There is a lot to like about this girl as far as I'm concerned. She almost embodies the female country badass Reba McEntire all the way from her thick country twang to her down home appeal. She's also very shrewd in ways that other contestants both on the Girls and Guys sides haven't been, which is pretty amazing given she's so young. She carved out a very specific niche for herself no one before her had ever laid claim to. She didn't come out and take on a tired, overplayed ballad or a typical country song. She took something that was distinctly rock and fit it to HER style with a Janis Joplin type of abandon. That style is a whole lot of fun and very entertaining; I have little doubt she'll be one of the performances that stand out when people look back on this particular show.

Vocals: 4
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Strong

Country cutie Baylie Brown tackled one of my favorite country ballads. Lonestar's "Amazed" has had a deep personal connection to me through the relationship with my husband, Steven, qualifying it near the top of the list of "our songs."

I've heard this song (and sung my heart out to this song) many, many, many times in the last 13 years so it was just painfully obvious how many notes Baylie missed in her earnest performance. For her to get to this point and have that many bum notes makes me wonder how much her commercial look played into the judges' decision to let her through to the semifinals.

If Paula were still around she'd probably say, "Let me start off by telling you how amazing you look tonight," where Simon would punctuate his critique with a disgusted, "Excruciating."

It just was not good and that song is not vocally challenging enough to justify why it shouldn't have been.

Vocals: 2
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 2
Individuality: 2
Song Choice: 3
Total: 13
Probability of moving on: Poor

Another 18-year-old who appeared in both Season 10 and Season 11 is Hollie Cavanagh.

I don't know quite what to make of Hollie. She has a bit of an accent when she speaks that seems to be having its very own identity crisis. Though born in Liverpool it appears living in McKinney, Texas is driving the Brit right out of her. This inconsistency bleeds over into her singing that can be both off-putting and interesting. It's almost like that Seinfeld character who looked one way at one angle and scared Jerry silly when he saw her from a different angle.

That aside her ambitious version of Christina Aguilera's "Reflection" from the movie "Mulan" was solid. In fact, I think she chose a song that did identify her personality's complexity and she branded herself in a compelling way. She wasn't just singing a Christina song, she was telling her own story. This goes beyond the voice, which was strong even if not Christina, into the area of an artist.

Lots of potential there. I'd like to see where could go.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 22
Probability of moving on: Good to Strong

Portland barista Haley Johnsen had the misfortune of following this powerhouse performance the judges hinted could make her competitor a frontrunner.

Even more unfortunately for her, her version of the 80s Eurythmics classic "Sweet Dreams" was a hot mess... not just in comparison but in general. The arrangement was unappealing and quite honestly discomforting. Marilyn Manson tackled this Annie Lennox masterpiece in a way that was sinister and interesting, and it felt as though she was trying to merge the two versions together into some strange alien love child. In the end Haley's was just all over the place with no real definite tone. Worse, her vocals were sub par, which made tolerating her "runs" painful.

Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 1
Total: 16
Probability of moving on: Poor

Tampa teenager Shannon Magrane chose an inspirational ballad for her first live show introduction with "Go Light Your World."

Once again it felt like a missed opportunity. In the introductory video we saw how playful and youthful this 16-year-old could (and should) be and then she appears in a ball gown with a performance better suited to a beauty pageant than a show seeking the next big pop star.

There was nothing glaringly bad about the performance, it was just generic and ultimately forgettable. The main variable is that the audience she's appealed to with that song choice (the more Christian-oriented) may rally behind her performance for bringing more traditional to the Idol stage.

The judges certainly liked it. (But they like everything.)

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 3
Song Choice: 2
Total: 17
Probability of moving on: Questionable

I've been looking forward to Jessica Sanchez and her debut performance after she and DeAndre knocked it out of the park with a gospel-fused rendition of "Doesn't Matter Anymore."



I was worried when her performance was foreshadowed with the news she had been having voice trouble throughout the week. Could this early favorite pull it off?

Singing "Love You I Do," Jessica effortlessly pulled off what I missed from other teenage contestants. She kept it youthful and fun while keeping it mature and professional all at the same time. Though you could see her restraint during some notes, if this is what she sounds like when she's slightly impaired that powerhouse performance demonstrates EASILY this is the girl to watch for Season 11.

Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Strong

Elise Testone won the coveted Pimp Spot for the night and capped off the festivities with another version of the Adele tune, "One and Only."

She branded herself well to set herself apart from the crowd, and Adele herself, with sort of an earth-child blues performance. Like J-Lo commented, the smoky tone of her voice is distinctive and interesting. I'm glad she got the last spot because I think it really gives her an advantage to make it on to the next round. I'd kinda like to see what else she can do.

Vocals: 4
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Good

Like last night's show it's hard to predict with any degree of certainty who will secure those five top spots to make it into the finals. These are steep cuts and there's really no clear cut indicator who will stay or go once the voting turns over to John/Jane Q. Public. Of the two groups the girls had a couple of wayward performances the guys didn't have, which helps me narrow down who I'd *like* to see move forward, Jessica and Skylar tops among them.

Don't hold back. Tell me who you'd like to see move forward.

It All Started With a Monkee

"I'm sure you saw the news by now of who died."

That is how I started February 29, 2012. It sent me into a bit of a panic because I hadn't yet seen the news or anything about any celebrity death. Most of the shocking celebrity death news I receive these days is usually courtesy of Twitter, but thankfully I had not yet checked the feed before reading my best friend's FB message.

In retrospect I am glad. I am glad someone I loved gently broke the news to me rather than a glaring, shocking trending topic, because this celebrity death is one that hits me really close to home.

You really can't get any closer than your first love.

This is who Davy Jones will always be to me. It was a true star-crossed love story doomed to run a very short course. He was a celebrity, I was an elementary student, and of course we had never met except through a TV show that was rerunning ten years after it originally aired.

But my budding romanticism caught fire when I saw this cute and funny Brit who sang about the mysterious glory of starry-eyed love. Just like all the girls he made swoon on his TV show I was a goner from the very first time he opened his mouth.

He set the standard of all crushes that would follow. I wouldn't just settle for cute. I needed the whole package. I wanted someone a cut above all the rest. I wanted someone who could make me laugh as easily as he could touch my soul. I wanted someone unashamed to share cheesy, ooey gooey romantic love.



I was a true fan. One of the very first albums I owned was "More of the Monkees" and I played that vinyl treasure over and over again until I wore out every groove. I knew every word to every song and watched every episode of the Monkees with grand fascination that happens only once in a lifetime.

The first in your lifetime.



I was unaware that this band was manufactured or even past their 60s heyday. I didn't care. I was a Monkees devotee and fairly certain the day would come I'd marry a short English cutie with dark eyes and floppy hair.

Of course the late 70s gave way to the 1980s and I'd move on to other idols, quite dejected to find that my first crush was a married man in his 30s and the show was nothing more than a rerun.

But you never forget your first crush, as I've learned from all the other women I've known who share Davy with me. I can't count how many times I meet fans of other idols who confide their first celebrity crush was none other than my celebrity crush. Turns out he made several generations fall in love with him the same way he made me fall in love with him. Today we all mourn something very special in our lives. This is more than just a celebrity death... this is a significant part of our collective childhoods that means more than we could probably ever express in words. He did more than sing some songs... he made daydream believers out of all of us.

So thank you Davy for being the first. I will carry a little bit of you with me always whenever I remember what it's like to be a starry-eyed girl swooning over the boy of her dreams.

American Idol Semifinalist Guys: Live Performances

The official live performances began on Idol, sending the vote to the public on who should stay and who should go from the top 24 25 top semifinalists. In an unprecedented move, the judges brought back an extra guy to add to the standard 24, which was revealed during tonight's live telecast.

On the whole the show was fairly ho-hum, as the early live shows tend to be. The cream hasn't completely risen to the top and no stars have yet to emerge; what you get mostly are many a'iight performances that are neither spectacular or true train wrecks.

This results in a virtual lovefest from the kinder, nicer generation of AI judges. This doesn't help make the steep cut of more than half of this field of 13. Those who had a lot of screen time during the audition process have a slight advantage over those we haven't yet met. Worse, the earlier performers who don't do much to stand out are easily forgettable by the time we get to the producer favorites stacked at the end of the show.

I have my favorites (Team DeAndre!) but the show itself demonstrates many of these guys are running neck and neck for your vote. To predict a final 5 out of the 12 13 presented poses a bit of a challenge.

So let's get cracking.

The Guys could sing any song they chose (always a dangerous proposition) and were instructed to take a camera to their hometowns so that we might get to know them just a little better.

First up was Reed Grimm from Wisconsin.

This Wisconsin native brings personality to spare to the show, as well as the first (?) drummer to grace the AI stage. I like drummers. They are a breed of musician unto themselves that go by such nicknames as "Machine Gun" and "Animal."

He has a real zest for life and a creative streak, as demonstrated in his jazzy rendition of "Moves Like Jagger."

I'm not entirely certain how such a rendition will go over with the AI crowd, but he sang it with conviction. This off-screen goofball turns into a smooth operator on stage, which makes him a memorable contestant. This could save him from the curse of first.

The judges loved him but they loved everyone. As the show wore on my beleaguered hubby lamented on how much he missed Simon because these judges aren't as rough around the edges when it comes to delivering "constructive criticism." Randy mentioned that Reed was reminiscent of Casey Abrams of last season, but I think Reed may be a little more mainstream. This could help propel him into the finals.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 4
Total: 22
Probability of moving on: Good

Adam Brock (new dad, chef, renaissance, large black woman trapped in a white guy) took the stage next with an Aretha Franklin tune (obviously.)

He's a cuddly bear with a lot of soul and has been featured pretty heavily throughout the audition process. That, coupled with his non-fast-forwarded performance (courtesy of my hubby Steven) makes Season 11's "White Chocolate" a possible audience favorite moving forward.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 5
Total: 22
Probability of moving on: Good

Seventeen-year-old DeAndre Brackensick was grouped in with beginning performances, which can spell trouble for these new faces for the voting audience.

We don't know much about DeAndre given his lack of screen time over the audition process, despite the fact he's been on both Season 10 and Season 11. I remembered him from last year because I think he's extremely commercial and his voice takes the best of artists like Prince before him to a new place for such a young soul. I was really concerned that his placement in the lineup could cripple his chances to move forward, especially when he began to sing "Reasons" from Earth, Wind & Fire. While the Phillip Bailey falsetto was dead on, the song may be a little old school for his target demographic (young girls.) But from the screams he got when he finished, I feel a tad more confident that we'll see more from my early favorite of Season 11. He's got a commercial look and his voice is pure liquid gold. Please, America... let's see what this kid can do.

Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 23
Probability of moving on: Good (please, please, please)

*tip* think about losing the hair flip; it's a quirk that can get old really fast if you're not careful.

Colton Dixon has been a familiar face throughout the last two seasons.

He has a standout style and he's a musician, which makes me root for the guy just on a talent-only basis. That he was never supposed to be on this season at all makes his appearing in the semifinals pretty remarkable. Unfortunately, though I love anyone who can bring any kind of rock to the Idol stage, I didn't care that much for his performance of Paramore's "Decode." It felt a little white bread to me. Maybe the hype over the last couple of years prepped me to expect a little more, or maybe this was just not my style of music as I'm way more classic/hard rock than alternative. (Usually though, I can see past that.) Despite that, I think the audience has connected with him enough by this point to try to get him through. I just don't know if his voice shares the same distinction as his alternative look.

Vocals: 4
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 4
Total: 23
Probability of moving on: Strong

Jeremy Rosado is the first contestant I had to struggle to remember from earlier auditions, which makes me kinda sad because I think he's a good kid up against a really tough playing field.

He doesn't really have a standout niche like Colton, Reed or even DeAndre. He too chose a song made famous by a female, "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles. He sang it well and if this 19-year-old had any nerves he managed to mask them convincingly. Though beautifully sung, this middle of the pack performance didn't do much to make him stand out and he kinda had to.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Questionable

I'm afraid the same fate may befall another middle-pack performer Aaron Marcellus, a contestant that J-Lo herself championed through to the semifinals.

His rendition of "Never Can Say Goodbye" didn't do enough to set him apart (or above) other bluesy singers, which is a shame. He certainly has the pedigree to add performance to his impressive vocals, but this particular song didn't do much to give him a chance to shine apart from one glory note. One Night One, you need more than that. So despite the crowd reaction to the note and the judges' standing O, I think this is another contestant in serious danger going home.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 20
Probability of moving on: Questionable

Brendan Fraser doppelganger Chase Likens also had the misfortune of running with a mid-pack performance.

He was a virtual blank slate for all of us who sat through the arduous audition rounds to pick out early favorites for the live performance shows. I don't recall ever seeing him perform until tonight, and with that mug I think I really kinda woulda. This 21-year-old college student from West Virginia actually did something the other two performers before him were unable to do: he distinguished himself from the pack by singing a completely different genre. He went country.

Country has always been pretty good to Idol contestants and there's no denying this guy has a very commercial look. He sang "Storm Warning" which had the added benefit of being an upbeat performance, which subtly gives a measure of excitement to the middle of a show that really kinda dragged with blah up to this point. The voice is there, but the performance style could use a bit of work to steer away from the cheese department. This, however, isn't a deal breaker as proven by last year's winner, Scotty McCreary.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 4
Total: 21
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good

Creighton Fraker has been an early favorite of mine because I think he does have a voice that stands out from the pack.

I love finding distinctive voices and he has a quirky personality to match. This preacher's kid from South Dakota found his place in the world in weird and wonderful New York, which on a personal level immediately endears me to him.

In fact I love his fabulousity so much I can ALMOST forgive him for singing one of my least favorite Cyndi Lauper tunes, "True Colors."

Let your rainbow, shine, honey. I'm rootin' for you!

Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 3
Total: 23
Probability of moving on: Good


Phillip Phillips performed next and I have to be honest: it's a chore not to be annoyed by his name.

I like him well enough and I like his voice well enough but the whole double moniker is a wee bit off-putting. I fear it may get more cloying as the weeks go by because Idol has a nasty little habit of running bits into the ground.



That they decided to get even MORE cutesy with the captioning of their family photo as the "Phillips Phamily Photo" didn't have me in the most generous mood when he did his version of Phil Collins' 80s epic "In the Air Tonight." It definitely put his very unique fingerprint on it but I was not a fan. On the plus side, his voice is very distinctive and he's very likeable. I doubt he'll be sent home... so I'll just have to get over my lil pet peeve.

Vocals: 5
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 3
Total: 21
Probability of moving on: Good

Finally the judges had to earn a paycheck when they had to break it to sweet little Eben Franckewitz that his performance was the weakest of the night.

Of course they didn't say that but it was pretty obvious to those of watching the show. There were a lot of flat notes easily recognized by some of us with no musical training, so this early favorite who normally sings like an angel should thank his lucky stars that he was placed toward the end of the show when voters are more likely to remember him. It is also fortunate we already know he can do better from all the exposure he got in the earlier rounds. While the Adele tune didn't do him any favors, he'll likely get another chance to wow America.

Vocals: 3
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 4
Song Choice: 4
Total: 19
Probability of moving on: Fair to Good

The jury is still out for me for Heejun Han.

I love his voice but his personality seems a bit... editorially enhanced. His battle with the obnoxious cowboy during group round made him seem a bit whiny, and added to that his low self-esteem these are not attractive qualities for an American Idol. I did like the fact he owned up to the things he said right to the person, which showed honor - so let's see more of that. And more of his playfulness. And more of his vocal prowess. I think he's had enough exposure that his strong performance tonight will send him through to the next round.

Vocals: 4
Style: 4
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 22
Probability of moving on: Strong

Joshua Ledet is another early favorite.

He won me over with a gospel flavored "Jar of Hearts" during the Hollywood auditions. Another young guy with an old soul, he resurrects the blues and gospel greats who have come before him by singing with such conviction he's no longer simply singing. He's bearing his soul. Normally I don't like to see hopefuls use the songs of other Idols for the live performances, but that it was a JHud song makes it forgivable. I love when singers tackle songs from artists of the opposite sex because it brings something inherently new to the music. And with Joshua, it is ALL about soul. This is how you put your fingerprint on a song and make it stand out from the pack, rather than just sing a song well like earlier contestants did.

And apparently it makes J-Lo wanna punch ya. An Idol first?

Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 5
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 25
Probability of moving on: Strong

While Joshua earned the coveted Pimp Spot, the producers decided to throw their latest curve ball at us by revealing the guy they brought back for the semifinals. I had a feeling it would be our gentle giant, Jermaine Jones.

Can I just say... I want to hug this man. What a teddy bear - gentle giant, indeed. There's just something about him that touches my heart. Maybe his relationship with his mother, or the tender rendition of the Luther Vandross song, "Dance With My Father," but I'm right there with him emotionally. He made me cry last week and twice this week. So let it be known I'm rooting for him just from a very personal place that has no objectivity.

Bear all future critiques of him (because I'm sure there will be more) with that in mind.

Vocals: 5
Style: 5
Stage Presence: 4
Individuality: 5
Song Choice: 5
Total: 24
Probability of moving on: Strong

So who's going home? There's really no way for me to tell. Eight guys are going to go home and talent has little to do with it at this point as it's pretty evenly distributed. It makes me sorely miss the good ol' days when the semifinals lasted more than just one week. I could see letting two go, maybe even four. Eight?

There's no way to call this.

I know who I want to stay (DeAndre, Creighton and Jermaine) and who SHOULD stay (Joshua)... but everything else is a crap shoot up to the American voting public.

(Be afraid... very afraid.)

American Idol Season 11 Top 24

I think Season 11 can be summed up in two words: Second Chances. We have several in the top 24 that didn't quite make it in Season 10, including Brielle Von Hugel, Colton Dixon and Hollie Cavanagh, whose emotional journey cut short last year strangely wasn't even touched upon during the audition/Hollywood Week. (Unless I missed it, which is entirely possible. There's a lot going on this year hence why I'm so late with my annual Gab Fest about one of my favorite shows.)

For me, however, I'm most excited to see what's going to happen with DeAndre Brackensick. I was upset last year when he didn't make it because I thought he had the total package. There was such promise during Hollywood Week when the Minors OWNED Queen's classic "Somebody to Love."



There was such promise I couldn't wait to see what he'd do next. Sadly he didn't make it to the live performances and the nationwide vote.

So this year when he once again stunned during the preliminary performances in Las Vegas, I was so excited not only to see he'd returned BUT that he could still just knock that falsetto out of the park.



Goosebumps, I tell you. GOOSE. BUMPS.

I'm really excited to see what he's going to do.

Some of my early favorites include Creighton Fraker, Eben Franckewitz, Jen Hirsh, Joshua Ledet, Jessica Sanchez and of course Reed Grimm, who looks like he's going to be loads of fun.

So bring it on top 24 (25?.) I am SO ready for the live shows.

(Go DeAndre!)

Why I Write Fiction With Plus-Sized Heroines

The first (and obvious) reason would be because I myself am a plus-sized woman. The go-to advice for any writer is to write what you know, but for many years I always wrote about the women I used to read about in other popular books. I mimicked Danielle Steel in creating blindingly beautiful women that every man wanted. My first version of "Picture Postcards"* was written in this way way back in 1996, whereupon publishers promptly rejected the work because the character was out of reach for being "too perfect."

I wrote two more romances before I finally decided it was time to write about someone a little more like me, which I did with "Love Plus One." And to be totally honest with you, it was the most fun I ever had writing a romance novel.

What made me sit in the chair initially, however, was that I was hacked off about the typical romance novels I read that glorified the thin, perfect heroine and cast any pudgy girl as the comic relief. If she got any guy it was usually someone who was like her, i.e. overweight and without a lot of options. That's not to suggest he's any more or less worthy of her, or not a great catch himself. I have always considered Dan Connor the most perfect husband of all time. But why can't we get the hot guys too? Where's it written that the super hot guy WON'T fall in love with an amazing woman who just so happens to be heavy? In my books, just like in my life, I show our options are limitless. We can get any guy we want... even the super hot guys who make all the girls turn to butter.

I refuse to settle for stories that suggest anything else.

Though I loved her while I was a teenager, Danielle Steel shot to the top of my shit-list when it came to this kind of literary condescension. I can't remember the book but I do remember that she used fat to make a character less sympathetic. I believe it was in a book where she tackled the serious issue of domestic abuse, which of course immediately offended me as a woman, a domestic abuse survivor and a fat person.

It dawned on me there weren't enough heroines out there who looked like the average American woman, much less looked like me. I figured we all needed a voice. Instead of the rare book that spoke about how fat girls needed to lose fat because it was the big challenge in their lives, I wanted them to know that even if they didn't lose weight and get to a "perfect size", they could be loved perfectly for who they are.

In that respect it became a feminist issue at its core. You don't see this message of total value represented in the media. Instead of finding beauty in a woman beyond some numbers on a scale, we put a woman's value on hold until she can deal with the weight.

I can't count how many times I heard the well-meaning but double-edged compliment, "You'd be so pretty if you just lost weight."

Thanks?

Far too many fashion designers treat the female body as nothing more than a human hanger for their clothes. Curves are vilified. Models have run the general gamut of looking like prepubescent boys to underweight, sickly drug addicts during the ill-advised "heroine chic" era. Anyone who has any kind of flesh at all is treated like a hero for attempting to make her career as a model, and we pat ourselves on the back for giving her any kind of platform, like we're doing her a favor.

It's gotten so bad that models who wear a size 6 may be considered "plus-sized." To put that in perspective, according to her dressmaker Marilyn Monroe was 36-23-37. A size 6 at Victoria's Secret is 35.5-27-37.5.

How does the fashion industry feel about a size 6?



Technically this is still a small according to VS standards, but according to an ABC report a couple of weeks ago that is where many modeling agencies start their plus-size model criteria.

The women the fashion world uses to make us buy their product, whom they exalt as the ideal, weigh 23% less than the average women. And we support this ideal every single time we buy a magazine.

In today's culture Marilyn Monroe would be smeared on the cover of the tabloid magazines; paparazzi would wait in the bushes to get unflattering photos of her backside to sell copies of their rag-mags IF she'd even be famous at all.

Things have changed a bit in standards of beauty and sex appeal since Marilyn's generation.

What kind of message is this sending our girls? It's telling them they have to start dieting at age 8, that's what. To be beautiful, to be loved, you have to be super skinny.

And please don't misunderstand. I'm not saying heavier girls are prettier than skinnier girls. I'm just saying they're not UGLIER. We all can be beautiful, no matter what size we wear. We just have to believe it *INSIDE.* Where we fail as women, and as a society, is we give that power over to everyone else.

Let's face it, our standard of beauty is set by the media. If a woman gains weight, she is subject to scrutiny and her press is generally negative. If a little 13-year-old like X-Factor's Rachel Crow loses 15 pounds she's lauded as a good role model, even though most of her extra weight was that awkward result of how her body was adjusting to adolescence.

This is why young girls are discouraged from dieting because their bodies are still developing. (Teens who diet also fall prey to other behavior problems and eating disorders.)

But in our country the very worst thing you can be is a fat woman.

You see the sob stories on talk shows where they pick that one girl who never got a date because she was too fat (when really that has more to do with an absence of self-esteem, rather than the presence of some extra cellulite.) We ride the sofa while watching outrageous competitions like The Biggest Loser, somehow "inspired" by dramatic, rapid weight loss that is medically cautioned against.

Typically you are supposed to lose about 1-2 pounds a week for sustainable weight loss... but it's so bad to be overweight in our country the weight has to come off RIGHT NOW or else you're just a useless pile of blubber that doesn't even count as a whole person.

This results in these sort of fad/crash diets that only make us FATTER. It is by no coincidence that a country that makes billions (with a B) in the diet industry is also one of the most obese in the world.

(Note that the obese person in question in the above photo is - surprise, surprise - a WOMAN.)

Despite the fact that 34% of Americans are obese, you can be discriminated against for employment and generally mocked in the media as the last socially accepted bias. Even shows like "Mike and Molly," which star plus-sized actors who find love with each other, the main concept of the series was how fat is funny.

I've been on the losing end of that all my life, so I can tell you it's nowhere near funny.

Over the years I've discovered that anyone who mocks or shuns a fat person for being fat, or judges them harshly because of it, has pretty big issues of his or her own. It's as hateful as any other bigotry... and as unfounded. Just because you know I have extra weight doesn't mean you know me.

It doesn't make me lazy. It doesn't make me stupid. Most of all it doesn't make me desperate. Anyone who judges us by these skewed caricatures robs themselves of seeing us as the beautifully flawed and wonderful three-dimensional human beings we are.

Frankly... it's their loss.

Which is why I got out some aggression in "Love Plus One." If you've ever carried an extra few pounds and other girls turned into catty little jerks because of it... this book is for you.

There's some ugliness going on, but it's not what you may think you look like in the mirror. It's the disdain and condescension you get from others who think you're somehow lesser than because of the size dress you wear.

The only time you become lesser-than is if you believe it. These do not have to be your standards.

And, even more importantly, you can raise your standards in regards to anyone else. If they can't see past your weight to see how much you can contribute, your talents and your skill, your devotion and your dedication, then they don't deserve a place in your life in the first place.

Those are superficial, shallow people who would never see you as a person no matter what you do. If it's not fat it'd be some other little quirk or trait that would prompt them to stuff you in a box so they don't have to bother with getting to know you AND being responsible for their side of the social contract.

A person who can be bigoted for one reason can be bigoted for any reason, but you can rise above them.

This is the "moral" if you will that I addressed in my book. Find your value beyond all that petty, immature behavior and only invest yourself in those willing to do likewise.

They're out there... and they're worth finding.

I don't always take the self-esteem issue route. In "Groupie" my heroine was proud of her curves and knew how to use them. She understood not every guy would appreciate it but she wasn't about to change herself or make herself feel bad because of the superficial standards of someone else.

This is the confidence that made her sexy to a rising rock star; the guy every other girl wanted but she managed to snare. (You go, big girls!)



In My Immortal I gave my character an standard of beauty that crossed over centuries. What would make her the most prized and beautiful woman in the 1800s helped her keep modern men at bay. It would take a love that defied death itself to teach her she was indeed worthy of all good things even though she thought she wasn't. (This, by the way, had nothing to do with any extra weight.)

Believe me, someone out there will find you attractive even if the society around you tries to make you feel like a failure because you commit the crime of being fat. In my books it's usually more than one guy. In the last 25 years I have been single a grand total of two and a half years. And if I wasn't dating or married (and even if I was) there were those who were interested aside from my spouses.

I had a few "frenemies" both thin and fat who resented me because of it. They just couldn't figure out how someone like me got the things they somehow couldn't.

I didn't let fat stop me. I didn't let it stop me from getting a job, getting a man, having a family, or most importantly... being happy even when the world around me didn't think I had any right to be so. (This included members of my very own family.)

Do people still look at me like I'm a failure? Of course. But I don't live my life to their standards. If I did I would not have raised two AMAZING men to adulthood, been married to two of the most wonderful men on planet Earth and made the life of my dreams a reality.

Maybe I had to work a little harder but it only made me appreciate it more.

And now I can turn all that into stories for other women and girls who wondered, like I did when I was 16, if I would ever find someone to love. The answer is yes. Look in the mirror and start there.

So far the response has been overwhelmingly positive, which is part two of why I decided to pursue the genre: there's an audience for it. My two romances, "Love Plus One" and the revamped "Under Texas Skies" are my biggest sellers thus far, which proves there is a market for this sort of thing and I'm quite happy to be the one that provides it. It prompted a rewrite of nearly other story so that I can cast dynamic, diverse women of size in roles I previously only reserved for the thin and beautiful because I thought that was what the audience wanted.

What the audience wants is someone genuine they can believe in, and so I leave a little bit of me in every single heroine. It's as honest and real as I can possibly make it.

(And should I write a story where the size is not mentioned, it's because I don't consider it worth mentioning in the context of the story.)

I proudly write fiction with plus-sized heroines because despite what the world around you wants to tell you, you're perfectly lovable just the way you are. Modern media may make you the butt of the joke, the supporting character, the long-suffering best friend... but I believe you deserve top billing as the leading lady. And I give you handsome, romantic leading men who appreciate you for ALL of who you are, not just candy for their arm.

And it is my honor to give you a chance to shine.



*"Picture Postcards" is due for a rewrite and release in 2012 as a Rubenesque romance fairytale.